Come this May, I will have been taking testosterone for three years. My period stopped about 2 months into hormone treatment I believe. Yesterday it started again and it was such a shock that I didn't even know what it was. I don't even think of myself as anything but male and seeing the toilet paper come back bloody was awful.
So naturally I freaked out and made an emergency visit to see my endocrinologist. We had been trying Axiron which is a topical gel you apply everyday. We did this because with the shot both my testosterone and estrogen were off the charts.
In December - T = 1500, E = 110. Both number crazy high for a male. In January, after stopping the shots, it was T = 225, E = 50. Now the T was low for a male and the E was high. Well at least the E had dropped. Although the T level was below where I liked it, I actually prefer the gel to the shot. Having a regular dose of testosterone makes me feel more steady. That is until I started bleeding.
So the doctor and I decided to continue using the topical but switch off with the injection. One week would be the injection and the next week I would apply the topical everyday that week. That sounded good for me, a bit more complicated sure, but doable. Unfortunately that's when things got hairy.
My partner and I recently moved across country for a new job. Every since then our insurance has been a nightmare. Supposedly he still had benefits from his last job but they were hard press to give anything out. In his recent job he does get insurance but it took a month to activate once he started working. So we go Cobra for the meantime. Cobra had no problem covering the Axiron and good thing too, as a month supply of that stuff costs - $425 according to CVS pharmacy.
Finally we got the new insurance under my partner's new job up and running. Or so we thought because immediately they started giving up problems with prescriptions. So that lead to some fun hours on the phone and the pharmacy finding out I was still listed under my insurance as female. Which really sucks for someone who is stealth. It's a small town and people talk. I'm listed as female under my insurance because if I ever need a hysterectomy insurance would cover it. Hopefully I will eventually need one. I recently got an ultrasound with one of those rape sticks. That's another horrible story that was hell to go through. Shudder.
Any rate, now this new insurance suddenly refuses to cover any sort of topical testosterone. They demanded per-authorization from the doctor. My doctor absolutely refused to do so because, according to him, it would give the game away. As there as no transgender benefits around my insurance technically, they could start refusing to pay for anything having to do with any sort of hormonal anything. This would include my visits to the endocrinologist, the inject-able T, the needles, everything. What an absolute mess.
So my doctor recommended a compound pharmacy in the area that would be willing to whip up a topical cream for much cheaper than anything with a brand name attached to it. I contacted them and hopefully my doctor is faxing over the recommended dose that I need. This would be paid out of pocket but the pharmacy assured me the price would be 'reasonable', about $100 a month. Reasonable is relative I suppose.
I'm just so sick of jumping through all these hoops. I need what I need and I shouldn't have to be sneaky in order to get it. I'm angry at my body for not cooperating and for this new insurance for being suspicious.
I'm worried that all this activity will somehow end with me being outed to entirely to many people. My partner does his best to keep me stealth at his work. He always refers to me the correct way and learned a bit on how to shut down unwanted questions from co-workers. So that really helps. However if my insurance, which is through the HR department starts complaining and finding out what they shouldn't it might get out. Even if they don't exactly intended that to happen.
Just .... argggggg. Why can't everything just work out? Why can't I just be right?
