Going to a FTM Group Tomorrow (if I feel like it)

[DriftingCrow]

There's this FTM support group that meets up in Boston once a month (Compass), and I am thinking of going to the meeting tomorrow. Every month they have a different topic, and this month is about the evolution/effects on being on T long-term. I think it sounds like an interesting topic (and I am desperate to talk to people who aren't in law school, are lawyers, or paralegals... seriously, you have no idea how dry I've become), and it might be fun to meet some other transguys IRL. 

I was pretty excited about going, because I thought it was closer to where I lived (I got two different groups confused, and thought this was the RI group, which apparantly doesn't have any meetings), but then the guy e-mailed me the location, and it's up here in Boston, it's like... ugh. Even though I'll be up in Boston anyway, it'll be in the evening and I have work in the morning, and it's in a part of the city I've never had any reason to venture into before, and it's supposed to get really friggin' cold tomorrow so I can so easily imagine myself walking around aimlessly trying to find the place and cursing myself for not wearing warmer clothing. So, I (obviously) have already come up with a bunch of reasons to just go home where it's all nice and warm and where my puppy will be happily waiting for me. So, not entirely sure if I am going to end up going or not.

Anyone else been to a trans group? How are they? Anyone been to Compass in particular (I know there's a few of you on here from this area), is it worth going to?

[ford]

I've been to one. It was mixed FTM/MTF, but there were more FTMs. It was sort of game changing for me for two reasons. First, these were the first trans* folks I had met in real life, so it was neat seeing people at every stage of transition. And instead of being weirded out or something (I wasn't sure how I'd react), I was completely inspired. Looking at some of the folks further along, I was thinking, that could be me. Second, I felt amazingly comfortable and accepted and one of the group. It was pretty neat hearing things regarding hormone therapy, passing, and coming out  being spoken by humans in the same room as me. No one flinched when I asked for male pronouns despite looking woefully female. I didn't have to explain myself and no one thought I was crazy.

The whole experience was incredibly liberating. I walked out of there thinking 'I can do this!' My next meeting is this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it.

You should definitely go. I'm not sure how larger more well-established groups work (I live in a little town), but you're sure to learn something, and maybe even make some friends. I would love to hear how it goes.

[aleon515]

I go to a FTM meeting and sometimes a mixed group meeting. I really enjoy the FTM meeting. We don't have a specific topic. We just talk about whatever problems etc and the subjects we end up talking about vary-- top surgery, T, doubts, family, coming out, etc etc. I love the meetings. It doesn't matter anyone's age or background, we're all brothers. It's hard for a lot of us to leave.

I also find it wonderful to be addressed as him, bro, buddy, man, etc. even though I don't come to close to passing.

My group is also tomorrow. I can't help you with your group, our's is in New Mexico. Might be a bit warmer-- but I think it's a bit far.

--Jay

[Shang]

There's a mixed group trans* support group in San Antonio [San Antonio Gender Association] that I've started to go to.  It was a huge change for me.  I've only been to one meeting [three weeks ago] and I just came out today to my parents partially because of the meeting showing me I needed to get my life going.  Tomorrow evening is another meeting that I'll be attending.  It's in an area of town that's questionable, but it's worth it to go.  I'm called by the right pronouns despite not passing and everyone is so supportive of me.  I love it.

I would suggest getting the phone number of someone in the group should you get lost, if you decide to go.

I don't know anything about your group, though, as I'm down in Texas.

[Andy]

I'm sorry, but the image of you wandering around Boston (my home town!) "walking around aimlessly," as you say, looking for a group called COMPASS just struck me funny!! 

They should send you a compass to help you find them! 

[DriftingCrow]

lmao Andy, I didn't even notice that!

They did send directions, but I am one of those people who navigate better by landmarks like "take a right over where AMES used to be..." type of people. I have a smartphone, so I think I'll just use the naviagator on that.

Edit: I just looked up walking directions on googlemaps, and it's only 1.7 miles away from where I currently am. Lol, taking the T would've brought me around all over the place, so I'll just walk. I guess I have to go now. 

[AdamMLP]

Google Street view can be your friend, especially if your a landmarks type of guy. I failed miserably at directing my grandparents to my college, but I walked them through the really crazy road system they were panicking about on there then showed them every junction and obvious buildings to spot. Once they got over their amazement at a computer and the miracle of the Internet they grasped where they were meant to be going pretty quick. Just have a scout around all the corners and get your bearings before going out irl. Just be wary of things that might have been knocked down or changed etc since the funny little car went round.

Cant comment on the trans group though as the only one around here is mixed LGBT and as everyone thinks I'm lesbian if I run across someone I know it's going to get awkward.

[skakid]

How'd it go? I'm in the Boston area and if you thought the group was any good I might consider going.

[CursedFireDean]

The LGBT center in my city happens to be right across the street from my school and they have trans groups once a month around 6pm, and since I usually don't leave school until about 5:30-ish anyways, I've been thinking of going over to one of them. I'd really like to meet some fellow transguys IRL.

[DriftingCrow]

How'd it go? I'm in the Boston area and if you thought the group was any good I might consider going.

It was really good! Glad I went, and it's wicked easy to get to. There was probably about 15 guys there, all of various ages and stages of transition. One of the guys has been on T for almost 20 years, and that was great to see. He even took his shirt off and I was completely impressed by how hairy he was and how faded his top surgery scars were. They also know of a lot of surgeons who do top surgery in the area, so I think next time I'll bring a notepad and write the names down, because I think it'd be nice to learn of surgeons besides Dr. Garramone.

But yeah, this has further convinced me that transitioning is something that I def want to do.

If you're interested I'll PM you the contact info,  because I am not sure if I am allowed to give out the address of the meeting place.

[skakid]

If you're interested I'll PM you the contact info,  because I am not sure if I am allowed to give out the address of the meeting place.

Ya thatd be awesome, thanks.

[Natkat]

how they are depends on the asmoshear and the people. in generally I think its nice to get to meet other trans people IRL, even if you dont have the same problems or any big thing in commen you can learn something and get inspired..

I both been for ftm only and more mixed, but I think I get something out of it, yet somethimes I have feel disapointed like there has been too much caos in who spoke when and what to say and not, but again this totally depends on the group and the people as well as the one who leads the group how they do this.

[aleon515]

I'm glad you liked your group. As cool as this is on susan's, it's nicer to get real life support. We are arranging a group of guys for exercise sessions. This is something you couldn't really do online. I also like that we are brothers regardless of age and background, obviously that is happening here, but it is more powerful in real life.


--Jay

[spacerace]

Good for you for having the courage to go.

There's a couple of different groups near me, and I would like go because I am in a new city and don't really know anyone. I'm too scared though - did you just walk in and have to find a way to introduce yourself as you milled around and talked to people? Or is it like the way support groups are pictured in movies - where everyone sits in a circle and introduces themselves one by one?

I'm afraid of feeling awkward and being unable to talk to anyone.

[aleon515]

Yep just like the movies!! They have a facilitator who is not usually a professional but may have had training in facilitating groups. They usually are not real active in the discussion but steer things so they don't get out of hand. In ours we have ground rules, and an open discussion, but some groups have  broad topics (top surgery, family, etc) and might have a speaker and questions and answers. The facilitator goes around asks everybody's name and what pronouns they want used.

Some groups a lot of people go out afterwards. In ours people usually talk for about an hour afterwards. I often like that the best.

I think that you should go!! It might be awkward at first but it may be a very good experience, as where else are you going to meet trans people in person. To me it is much more helpful. Anohter plus is you can do things like try a name out or something.

--Jay

[DriftingCrow]

Mine was just like Jay described, just like in the movies. I didn't really just walk right in though, for security reasons you have to e-mail one of the group members, tell him about yourself, etc. and then he'll give you the time and place. But we did all sit in a circle, one guy who's been transitioned for many years lead the discussion, there was a topic but we were free to stray from it if desired. Some of the guys meet in the cafeteria beforehand, and a lot of guys stayed talking about a bunch of stuff after the meeting officially ended (I stayed for about half an hour afterwards).

[ford]

Mine works that way too. Name, preferred pronoun, and then discussions - first anything anyone wants to bring up, and then we go through some broad topics, spending as much time on them as there is interest. Even if you are new and shy, it's easy to participate as little or as much as you'd like.