baffled

[Jav]

so 2012 was a completely boring, ordinary year in terms of my transition, except that i fell in love with one of my cismale friends, completely and seriously and utterly - for the first time in my life. that friend was going through a tough patch and had stayed with me for a few months. he masturbated next to me in the bed (yes, we shared my bed platonically for a couple of months) pretty much every night. and he knew that i was awake all these times. what does it even mean?! to top it all off, he's been aware of the fact that i'm in love with him...

[Simon]

I would have kicked him outta the bed the first time, but that's just me.

He wants to have sex with you.

...that's what it means.

Don't believe me? Roll over, touch him while he's doing his thing, and see what happens. 

[Jav]

i've left mongolia at the end of january, and the night i left he came to my place to see me off to the airport, and said that last year he had felt something he had never thought he would feel/experience in his life. he didn't elaborate, i didn't ask for clarification because another friend of ours was also present. i guessed though it was his way of saying that he was/is in love with me. but that doesn't matter anymore. cissexist, he chickened out when he should've said something, and now it's just too late: i've moved on. i've put hundreds of thousands of miles between us because i couldn't handle my broken heart anymore. and the question i asked was simply "do cis gay guys really think of nothing masturbating next to awake people?!" -- i was reprimanded harshly for bringing in "street obsecnity into the site". if this is my experience and i genuinely need advice about such touchy topics, this is my only stop of reference. i don't come from a place where i would've been able to share my experiences in real life (btw, i still am not in a place, still not many transmen around where i am), so why am i being reprimanded for asking honest questions?! 

[Jayne]

I would have simply rolled over in bed & told him that if he insisted in keeping me awake doing that then the least he could do is let me join in the fun, if he got offended then i'd direct him to the settee.
As a way of breaking the ice, it's certainly not the best way i've heard of, in fact it's probably the worst i've heard of.

It sounds like he was hoping you would notice what he was doing but only you can tell for sure.

As he didn't have the courage to tell you how he felt you should chalk it up as being his loss, not yours.
You cannot go through life beating yourself up because of what others say or do, it's not healthy

[Nero]

and the question i asked was simply "do cis gay guys really think of nothing masturbating next to awake people?!" -- i was reprimanded harshly for bringing in "street obsecnity into the site".

Hmm I've done that next to cis guy friends before. Has nothing to do with being gay or cis. Honestly, I don't think it means much other than he's an inconsiderate ->-bleeped-<-. I had no interest in the guy I did that next to a lot. We slept next to each other, I had to get off, that was all there was to it.

I'm not sure if you're talking about a reprimand on this site or not.

[Felix]

When I was a squatter and living in abandoned buildings, cisguys masturbated next to me plenty of times whether they knew I was trans or not (I was pre-transition but often passing and living as male), and they often did so next to each other as well. I understand that's not a normal situation but it is one innocent deviation from the norm and there may be others.

[Jav]

thanks, guys, finally got some answers i can sleep with. and yes, i was actually preprimanded on this site (reminded me of a quote that was circulating around on FB "some people are more offended by swear words and middle fingers than they are by all the injustices in the world").

[Jav]

@Jayne i'm shy. have always been shy. so i don't easily encroach into people's private spaces, and to me masturation is a very private thing, even if someone's doing it not so privately. plus he was molested as a teenager, would never want to leave another scar like that on him.

[Devlyn]

i've left mongolia at the end of january, and the night i left he came to my place to see me off to the airport, and said that last year he had felt something he had never thought he would feel/experience in his life. he didn't elaborate, i didn't ask for clarification because another friend of ours was also present. i guessed though it was his way of saying that he was/is in love with me. but that doesn't matter anymore. cissexist, he chickened out when he should've said something, and now it's just too late: i've moved on. i've put hundreds of thousands of miles between us because i couldn't handle my broken heart anymore. and the qtuestion i asked was simply "do cis gay guys really think of nothing masturbating next to awake people?!" -- i was reprimanded harshly for bringing in "street obsecnity into the site. if this is my experience and i genuinely need advice about such touchy topics, this is my only stop of reference. i don't come from a place where i would've been able to share my experiences in real life (btw, i still am not in a place, still not many transmen around where i am), so why am i being reprimanded for asking honest questions?! 

thanks, guys, finally got some answers i can sleep with. and yes, i was actually preprimanded on this site(reminded me of a quote that was circulating around on FB "some people are more offended by swear words and middle fingers than they are by all the injustices in the world").

Hi Jav, I took an F-bomb out of your first post in this thread. Those are our rules, profanity is not allowed on the site. This is the message that I sent to you, I apologize if you feel it was a harsh reprimand:

Hi, I removed the F bomb from your post, please review: TOS Rule #11. Foul or obscene language, and/or subjects belongs on the street, Please do not bring it on to my site.

Hugs, Devlyn