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In game Gender Dysphoria

Started by AwishForXX, February 11, 2013, 11:45:12 PM

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If the option is given in RPGs and FPSs, what gender do you play

Same as my true gender.
Same as my birth sex.
Other, please explain.

Angela Drakken

Quote from: SiobhánF on September 28, 2016, 12:27:15 PM
My answer used to always be, "I just get so tired of following a dude and felt like following a female around the game was more to my liking. 'Cause which one would you want to see more? The dude or the girl?" But, even when I would play male characters, I would eventually make them more feminine and they ended up looking gender neutral or like a brawny female, anyway. I just choose female characters, now, because I identify with them more than the male ones. I'm already out to my wife, so she understands. Haven't told the kiddos yet, but they've asked about it and I tell them that I just like the female characters more. They seem to take it for what it is.

I *HATED* having to make excuses for it. All the feels for you =(
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Ellement_of_Freedom

Quote from: Angela Drakken on November 26, 2016, 09:22:40 AM
but I've gone so far as to sometimes use female voice modulation in VOIP in games because I *HATE* the way I sound..
Is that actually convincing?


FFS: Dr Noorman van der Dussen, August 2018 (Belgium)
SRS: Dr Suporn, January 2019 (Thailand)
VFS: Dr Thomas, May 2019 (USA)
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Angela Drakken

Quote from: Ellement_of_Freedom on November 26, 2016, 07:27:08 PM
Is that actually convincing?

YUPPERS. :3 The default modulation sucks, but there are ways to 'tweak' it for a more clear and natural sound.
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Korra-

from as far back as 16 ive always played as a girl character.  playing as a guy made me feel uncomfortable which I now realize was dysphoria. playing as a girl character woukd feel right and comfortable.
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Sephirah

There are very, very few games in which I would play through the game as a male character. Very few. Off the top of my head I can think of only six : Uncharted 4 and The Last Of Us, because Naughty Dog put so much heart and soul into their characters that you know from the outset that you're a spectator, playing someone else. There's really no vestige of yourself that you can inject into Nathan Drake or Joel, because they're so beautifully written and well rounded.

Then there are Cloud, Squall and Tidus from Final Fantasy VII, VIII and X respectively. This is more of a grey area, and I only would play them because of the strong female characters in those games I could more readily identify with. Most notably Aerith/Aeris Gainsborough, Rinoa Heartily and Lulu. One of the reasons I am so disappointed with Final Fantasy XV and have not bought it is because of the Bromance they have going on in that game. It doesn't appeal to me, at all.

And finally Isaac Clarke, from the original Dead Space game. Because... well, because that game is just so amazing it's more about the game than the character.

Pretty much every other game I tend to pass over unless there is some sort of character creator where I can spend an unhealthy amount of time creating an avatar more closely resembling myself. Partly out of a need for self expression, but also because in a lot of games with a male protagonist, I do not like the stereotypical way they see the world and interact with other characters within it. Games where you can create your own character tend to be a lot more careful in the way your character reacts to the world. Because the developers have to be a lot more neutral since they do not have the time to code different male and female responses. This is not perfect, but it's better than walking around sounding like you just had a steroid shake and a session at the nearest lap dancing club.
Natura nihil frustra facit.
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Selena

I've always played as a female. I don't really play multi-player so I can do whatever I want without having to justify anything. I only play male when I am playing a game where male is the only choice (IE deep storyline like Final Fantasy), or when I want to do male only storyline points (romance dialogues). It doesn't really bother me to play as a male in a game, but when given the option, I will choose female.

I'm not sure if it's been posted in this thread, but one of the most interesting items I've ever found in a video game was the "Belt of Feminity/Masculinity" in Baldurs gate. When you put it on it changes the gender of your character. Everything else stays the same. 10 year old me became obsessed with making male characters and seeking out the belt in every playthrough. Looking back, it makes a lot of sense.

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk

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Kylo

Quote from: AwishForXX on February 11, 2013, 11:45:12 PM
what gender do you play?

C.

Whichever looks cooler if I'm going to be staring at this character's back for 60 hours.

In Mass Effect I usually go femShep. In Skyrim I usually play a dude, etc.
"If the freedom of speech is taken away, then dumb and silent we may be led, like sheep to the slaughter."
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SeptagonScars

The only game I play is world of warcraft, and I mostly play as male characters (maybe 80% of the time), but occasionally a female one. It does feel a bit uncomfortable as a female character for me, but as Victor said, depends on which one looks cooler. I tend to get bored quickly with my characters and need the variation. But a male character is like "default" for me.

Reminds me of when I just started playing that game and my bf at the time introduced me to it, before I realised I'm trans, and he was cis. He played as female characters and I played as male ones. I still smile at that memory.
Mar. 2009 - came out as ftm
Nov. 2009 - changed my name to John
Mar. 2010 - diagnosed with GID
Aug. 2010 - started T, then stopped after 1 year
Aug. 2013 - started T again, kept taking it since
Mar. 2014 - top surgery
Dec. 2014 - legal gender marker changed to male
*
Jul. 2018 - came out as cis woman and began detransition
Sep. 2018 - stopped taking T and changed my name to Laura
Oct. 2018 - got new ID-card

Medical Detransition plans: breast reconstruction surgery, change legal gender back to female.
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SiobhánF

Quote from: SeptagonScars on October 02, 2017, 06:05:07 PM
The only game I play is world of warcraft, and I mostly play as male characters (maybe 80% of the time), but occasionally a female one. It does feel a bit uncomfortable as a female character for me, but as Victor said, depends on which one looks cooler. I tend to get bored quickly with my characters and need the variation. But a male character is like "default" for me.

Reminds me of when I just started playing that game and my bf at the time introduced me to it, before I realised I'm trans, and he was cis. He played as female characters and I played as male ones. I still smile at that memory.

I've felt as though playing a male character was my way of shielding myself from the pain that I experienced with dysphoria, in WoW. When I played as a female, I felt more open and free. I did the same in Guildwars and Fable. Great. Now I want to play WoW again. XD
Be your own master, not the slave to illusion;
The lord of your own life, not the servant to falsities;
Only then will you realize your true potential and shake off the burdens of your fears and doubts.






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Roll

Quote from: SiobhánF on October 03, 2017, 07:04:51 PM
I've felt as though playing a male character was my way of shielding myself from the pain that I experienced with dysphoria, in WoW. When I played as a female, I felt more open and free. I did the same in Guildwars and Fable. Great. Now I want to play WoW again. XD

I had that thought not too long ago. Then I remembered the waiting around for 40 people to show up late, inevitable slide into OCD achievement/rare mob/unique item/etc. hunting, and eventual burn out. :D What I really think I do miss though is the Secret World, at least when it was new. I loved playing detective. In Rift I had the super-ultra-rare Detective title from this little forum scavenger hunt they occasionally ran, and I stuck it on every alt without fail. Then when moved to the Secret World (yay for mmo hopping!), I straight up just named my character Detective McDetective, which really worked for that game given the nature of questing. Well, worked in an "I just want you to know I'm insane, LETS SOLVE MYSTERIES" sort of way at least.

But to answer the original topic, even though this is an old thread (wish the gaming forum wasn't dead :/), I always made female characters. Well, 99% of the time. In Mass Effect or Dragon Age type games I would usually have one male character playthrough just to do the male-only romance options (plus I thought Tali was the cutest). Unfortunately in ME this wound up being my primary for the harder difficulties since he was my soldier in ME1 and invincible shotgun rocket setup was the way to go for clearing it out post haste. Also wasn't generally happy with the female Shephard romance options, didn't find Kaidan attractive and was never sold on the Asari. In Dragon Age I was all about Alistair though, because I got to become a freakin' princess! :D (Fine, fine, Queen. Same thing. ;D)

Games that you play a specific character never really bothered me, though I was never impressed in the slightest with the uber masculine types such as Kratos that people seemed to love so much.
~ Ellie
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An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
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OU812

Growing up with Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, and related RPGs, I always picked female if given the opportunity. Even if creating a party of 4 characters, it would be at least 3 out of 4 female. And when playing The Sims, I'd always 'control' the female sim(s) I identified with the most.

For curiosity in how this lingering dysphoria has panned out long-term, I looked at my Overwatch heroes list. Some interesting facts stood out:

157 hours played
125 of those are between 3 main female heroes.
I have 3 hours on one male hero, purely because he's strong.
I've played no other male character for longer than an hour.
I've literally never even touched the majority of male heroes(!)
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IzzyC

Voted play a female toon.

Did so in every game. In WoW I always told people I was a girl IRL, and eventually abandoned WoW for years once friends started playing with me and I didn't like the fact I had to tell people I was a guy or have them hear my voice in VOIP.

I'm out now to everyone though, and now they all pick apart everything I've ever said and done IRL and online  :D to catch all the signs after the fact.
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Roll



Quote from: OU812 on October 04, 2017, 08:54:58 AM
Growing up with Mortal Kombat, Streets of Rage, and related RPGs, I always picked female if given the opportunity. Even if creating a party of 4 characters, it would be at least 3 out of 4 female. And when playing The Sims, I'd always 'control' the female sim(s) I identified with the most.

Haha, Blaze in Streets of Rage! Yes! And in any fighting games, it was the women 99% of the time. In King of Fighters my go to teams were always composed of Athena, Blue Mary, Leona, Mai, and Yuri. For Street Fighter it was always Cammy, all the time. Even as recently as Street Fighter 4 I would go out of my way to practice with the lower tiered Sakura over playing the other Ryu and semi-Ryu clones. My usual excuse? Female characters are faster, I prefer the faster characters.

Quote from: IzzyC on October 04, 2017, 09:11:46 AM
Voted play a female toon.

Did so in every game. In WoW I always told people I was a girl IRL, and eventually abandoned WoW for years once friends started playing with me and I didn't like the fact I had to tell people I was a guy or have them hear my voice in VOIP.

I had a ton of people just assume I was female because of the way I acted and spoke in game (pre-voice chat centric era). In retrospect those memories make me supremely happy. Well, except for about the one guy I was semi-friends with who got creepy hitting on my alt. That I could have done without. I never even purposefully told people I was female or anything, they just assumed even though they didn't make the assumption about other female characters.

Quote
I'm out now to everyone though, and now they all pick apart everything I've ever said and done IRL and online  :D to catch all the signs after the fact.

I'm pretty sure if I told my friends I played MMOs with I was transgender there would be a round of shrugs and "yeah, that makes sense". So many questions about the all female characters over the years, so many lame excuses. Always the healer, always the peacemaker.
~ Ellie
■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■
I ALWAYS WELCOME PMs!
(I made the s lowercase so it didn't look as much like PMS... ;D)

An Open Letter to anyone suffering from anxiety, particularly those afraid to make your first post or continue posting!

8/30/17 - First Therapy! The road begins in earnest.
10/20/17 - First coming out (to my father)!
12/16/17 - BEGAN HRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5/21/18 - FIRST DAY OUT AS ME!!!!!!!!!
6/08/18 - 2,250 Hair Grafts
6/23/18 - FIRST PRIDE!
8/06/18 - 100%, completely out!
9/08/18 - I'M IN LOVE!!!!
2/27/19 - Name Change!

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IzzyC

Quote from: Roll on October 04, 2017, 10:28:07 AM


I had a ton of people just assume I was female because of the way I acted and spoke in game (pre-voice chat centric era). In retrospect those memories make me supremely happy. Well, except for about the one guy I was semi-friends with who got creepy hitting on my alt. That I could have done without. I never even purposefully told people I was female or anything, they just assumed even though they didn't make the assumption about other female characters.


I did too I suppose. I mean that, if people asked for "clarification" that I was a girl, I would say that I was. It was also one of the happier times in my life, it's what got me super into RP for a while. I've been told before that I used to write and type/talk like a girl. I've lost that now, but that's because I went to Uni for History and Philosophy/Theology so I write like a man now.  :-\


Quote from: Roll on October 04, 2017, 10:28:07 AM
I'm pretty sure if I told my friends I played MMOs with I was transgender there would be a round of shrugs and "yeah, that makes sense". So many questions about the all female characters over the years, so many lame excuses. Always the healer, always the peacemaker.

;D

I forwarded a twitter post once to all my friends IRL and online that said: LGBT culture is looking back on your life and realizing how #@%* gay you were as a kid.

They all thought it was hilarious and started messaging me about how its so true, and how they all were confused as to why I didn't care about cars and sports and stuff, and that they all secretly thought that something was different about me but just never said anything; and that they were all surprised when I somehow ended up with a gf at like 18 "finally."
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Ereshkigal

Playing as a girl online is something extremely cathartic to me. I have always played female characters during my RP whether it was in Guild Wars or World of Warcraft. At this point of my life I were quite denying my dysphoria and people were always astonished to learn I weren't a girl. One of my ex-friends even told me once she was incapable of not seeing myself as a woman. ^^^
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Sonja

I've got a mixture of male and female characters in WoW and Guild Wars 2, but I really enjoyed making female characters in Black Desert - the character options are enormous - the only downside is - you can spend ages getting your look just how you want it!

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MeTony

I've had female characters in WoW. Nobody believed me I was AFAB though.

In SWTOR I play male characters and sometime female. Same there. Noone believes I'm AFAB. When playing with my oldest son, I'm a friend of his, no gender assigned.

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Angela Drakken

Totally gone. I've even since deleted/stopped using female voice modulation to alter the sound of my voice in VoIPs ect because my voice is THERE finally. *little dork dance!*
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jaybutterfly

I always make female avatars so I can have 'a life' as a woman.
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Dee Marshall

Quote from: jaybutterfly on January 07, 2018, 02:18:25 PM
I always make female avatars so I can have 'a life' as a woman.
I did that for years then, when I began to internalize (and externalize) that I'm a woman I lost interest in MMORPGs. I played a bit this weekend only because I'm alone with nothing to do.

The spy who came in from the cold in the War Between the Sexes.

April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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