Hey everyone,
My name is Deb. I am a 21 year old art history major at a liberal arts college in the Midwest. After a few months of pondering I have decided to become a woman after a year after "detransition."
During the first semester of my sophomore year I tried to begin transition. It didn't work. I had very few friends and little to no support and I broke under the pressure of trying to live a fulfilling, prosperous, and happy life and being a transgender woman at the same time. Shortly after I stopped dressing like a girl on a regular basis I started taking antidepressants, and finally became confident enough to make friends and lead a (mentally) healthy life . I can say the past year of my life, despite some necessary hardships, has been one of the happiest of my life and I have never been more self confident.
What didn't change through all of this was my desire to be a woman. I have come out to all my close friends (many of whom didn't know of my history) and have bought a lot of cute clothes with my friends at thrift stores (and some online). Unlike my previous attempt, I feel very at ease, and even happy, about the idea of living as a woman.
What is going to be hard is coming out to my family... again. I live with my mom, my sister, and her 1 year old son when I'm back at home on breaks and I know they won't take it very lightly. I have a great relationship with all of them, but I know they will accuse me of "flip-flopping" and being "sexually-confused." They don't understand the fact that someone can be both trans and successful. I'll need to prove to them that I can lead a productive and happy life as a transgender woman if I hope to earn their tolerance.
I also am going to participate in an archaeological field school for a month in Mexico over the summer (June-July), and I don't think it would be a good idea to present female while I'm there. Though my bone structure, face, and long hair allow me to pass with little effort, the intention of the trip is academic in nature and I need to focus on what I'll be doing there rather than on my own safety.
I'll be around on the site fairly frequently looking for advice. I hope to meet some new friends too.
Enjoy your day,
Deb
