Not wanting to dress male.

[JoanneB]

Salvation Army and Goodwill trift shops are my favorites. Always the perfect place to go when in dire need of retail therapy

[Cindy]

My best was a HarryWho/George Goss designed skirt with a retail tag on it of  $250. I got it for $4. I think it was unworn and too small for the person who bought it!!

Hee Hee

And it fits with todays fashion!

[Kevin Peña]

I don't want to dress manly either, but I must. 

[Bexi]

Taking small steps can really help.

If you do small things whilst ostensibly appearing male, no one will notice. Shave your legs. Use nail polish on your toes. Define your eyebrows. Begin to wear 'nude' make-up. Start growing your hair long. Lose weight. Any of these can be explained easily, and yet when the time comes will contribute to you appearing feminine.

They also make you feel better about yourself.

As for people noticing, even if you are lucky enough to be on HRT, the overwhelming majority won't know. Unless they work with trans*-people daily, have an intrinsic knowledge of the subject or have endured it themselves, they won't know what to look for.

Also, bear in mind the change is gradual. It doesn't happen overnight. Familiarity and constancy will stop others from noticing the changes or realizing that you are slowly changing.

x

[AwishForXX]

I don't want to dress manly either, but I must. 

I'm in the same situation and I fear I always will be.  I'm not sure if I will or even truly desire to transition at this point.  (something for my therapist when I find one and to only consider after my wife is fully in the know.  She must be included in the discussion.)

I do agree with Bexi,  Small steps or doing small unnoticeable or plausible things can help.  in the area of small things I compensate with my panties, not noticeable in public and for the most part, unisex in design although I prefer the feel of microfiber.  As for plausible,  I am a cyclist and have been all my life,  I spend a lot of time on the road bike, even in winter. (can ride all year long here.)  Many cyclists shave their legs, I prefer to wax because I also have to wear support socks, and stubble causes some extreme itching.  I also define my eyebrows, with my fair skin and light hair it is barely noticeable.  All this together does help me feel better about myself.

C.

[Shannon1979]

Yes agreed small steps i already lost weight and am now gorwing my hair not that you can tell yet as it was quite short. I have also started to use proper moisturiser to soften my skin a bit and it looks better already.

[Bexi]

Argh the hair took me ages to grow to a comfortable length! What you see in my avatar hasn't been cut for two years now, and is only just past my shoulders at the back.

For what its worth, no one spotted I was clean shaven all over; or that my eyebrows were shaped; or that I had began wearing subtle make-up; or that my skin was softer! Nor even when my boobs started to grow...

...but the hair! Jeez, everyone mentioned it!

x

[Shannon1979]

...but the hair! Jeez, everyone mentioned it!

x

Oddly for me the hair is the least o my worries as i have always let it grow for ages before i finally had it cut. so its been long short allsorts.

[Tessa James]

Long hair really is a luxury we can afford for ourselves.  I used to hate haircuts as a kid and as an adult have let it grow to my butt checks before finally cutting it in 2007.  Now it seems to be coming back strong but it wont be in a pony tail so often as I can finally do what I want.  I get to be "out" and loving it.  It seems more people than ever are dressing androgynously and enjoying the freedom to look just like they want too.

[lavistaa]

same here with nobody noticing small changes over time.  It took my wife,  who I feel is both very observant and vocal,  a month to notice my eyebrows have been threaded and it's an unmistakable female arch.  My legs have been hairless for decades.   These things don't resolve the tension but I feel they lessen it. 

[RAY]

I hear you not easy to wear what you want.
Its for me mostly boy mode. If I could be a pretty looking girl I would it. We all have worries about our appearence. Society is always judging m
ales wearing female clothes at least inthe U.S.
Doing those small things help it gives a boost to your spirit.
I use female clothing items when I can. Shopping Goodwill type stores help keeps your
Budget. Do as you can here at Susan's anyone can give advice and support.

[Shannon1979]

sort of solved the at home not wanting to dress male issue. While it would be nice to be all made up all the time, seriously thats not practical and with the shaping underwear i have non to confortable. But I have brought a couple of peices of nightwear. not fancy sexy stuff ofr any thing like that, but definatly girly and confotable. plus some panties that are also comfy ones. At least that way i can still be dressed at home but comfy as well.

[AwishForXX]

plus some panties that are also comfy ones. At least that way i can still be dressed at home but comfy as well.

Oh I agree on that. For the most part I am not out, certainly not with the ones that really matter anyway.  I must dress male all the time, I get some comfort with what I wear under my outwardly male clothing. It's amazing what a nice comfy pair of panties can do to ease some of the discomfort. Ironicaly, I need to put up with the discomfort of a gaff to achieve some tolerable level of comfort.

C.

[gennee]

Shannon, when I started out if I didn't dress for a week I wold be going nuts. I found an excuse to go even if I had no where to go. Now I don't have to do that anymore.

[sylvannus]

Hi Shannon,

I think we all know that feeling.

In the end I couldn't face being in male clothing so I stopped. OK I was under therapy to transition but I went to work in increasingly female clothing. I just stopped caring about other people and thought about me.

No one gave a damn, if they did they didn't tell me.

I feel the same. I couldn't help to wear some female clothing occasionally since 3 years ago. I have been careful to wear darker colors and conservative styles because I don't want to draw too much attention. As time goes on, it has become increasingly frequent. In China, my supervisors and colleagues did not really mind that. Even if I wore a loose shirt with grass and bird patterns on my Master's thesis defense, it was passed smoothly.

However, on Tuesday, when my professor noticed this on the lab meeting, he probably felt angry and sent a postdoc to warn me after the meeting. The postdoc used harsh words and even mentioned "otherwise kick me out of the lab" stuff, but I was not sure if it was her own imagination or was actually from the professor. Anyway, at first I was really frightened and upset for a whole day, but later I decided to write an email to him to come out.

Today he said he was busy and will catch up with me later this week, and I am still waiting to learn his attitude. To avoid unnecessary trouble, I am wearing the male clothes that I have brought when I first came to Australia, although I did not feel comfortable with that. But unfortunately I have not brought much typical male clothes from China.

I am still not sure about the daily dress codes of the University of Adelaide or the IMVS, as I cannot find any on their websites. In China, there was a dress code, but it was considered as outdated and has not really been respected by either the staff or the students for tens of years.

Anyway, hope I can pass through for this time.

[Kayle Sky]

As soon as I get off of work my wife gives me time to switch to be comfortable with myself. I hate having to wake up and shift into guy mode. But it is actually getting harder to stay shifted at work, and I think my true personality is starting to sift through. Some people don't care, some people raise an eyebrow. And I have told a few people, so when I can just be around them at work I get all bubbly and fully come through. It is really getting hard to separate myself from myself for work, and I am ok with that. Because I am me, and when I do go full time it will be either right or the universe is telling me it is the right time.

[Cindy]

I feel the same. I couldn't help to wear some female clothing occasionally since 3 years ago. I have been careful to wear darker colors and conservative styles because I don't want to draw too much attention. As time goes on, it has become increasingly frequent. In China, my supervisors and colleagues did not really mind that. Even if I wore a loose shirt with grass and bird patterns on my Master's thesis defense, it was passed smoothly.

However, on Tuesday, when my professor noticed this on the lab meeting, he probably felt angry and sent a postdoc to warn me after the meeting. The postdoc used harsh words and even mentioned "otherwise kick me out of the lab" stuff, but I was not sure if it was her own imagination or was actually from the professor. Anyway, at first I was really frightened and upset for a whole day, but later I decided to write an email to him to come out.

Today he said he was busy and will catch up with me later this week, and I am still waiting to learn his attitude. To avoid unnecessary trouble, I am wearing the male clothes that I have brought when I first came to Australia, although I did not feel comfortable with that. But unfortunately I have not brought much typical male clothes from China.

I am still not sure about the daily dress codes of the University of Adelaide or the IMVS, as I cannot find any on their websites. In China, there was a dress code, but it was considered as outdated and has not really been respected by either the staff or the students for tens of years.

Anyway, hope I can pass through for this time.

Hi I have sent you a phone number for Adelaide Uni welfare and they are expecting your call. The comments made to you are illegal in South Australia and sufficient that the supervisor will have to explain their actions. Please call that number now.  Brad is on reception and waiting the call.

Hugs
Cindy.