No Family Support And I want to transition

[DiVanny92]

Hello I am Jorge and i Have a big problem. I am 19 about to finish high school in June. And i have always been in the closet, but i have always felt inside that this was never the real me. I have been going out with homegirls for the pass year and half as a Girl. I had a Boyfriend for over a year he left me 3 weeks ago he was a straight man and knew about my situation that i was a guy. Well my Parents have kicked me out the house to many times. I have never been supported by them. Last time i left the house bcuz my mother told my sister that if i were to be gay that she wishes that i would get STD so that i would die faster and never deal with me ever again. i left and when i was out the house they went to look for me and that's when i told them i was bi gay what ever.that was about 6 months ago. Now they treat me poorly, they tell me oooh you'll grow out of it or stuff like that. the thing is that I want to start my transition now. the thing is that i only have them in my life i don't have a job i don't have insurance i don't have nothing. and i don't know what to do. My dad told me that if i were to ever cut my testicles off or put boobs on that that day i would not be considered his son. I hate the fact that they can't accept me. they threaten me that if i were to transition that i would never be in their life ever again. I have let them tell me what to do all my life never done anything wrong i am a straight A student that has been going to college at the same time i have over 30 college credits. How can i start my transition they don't know i want to do this and if i tell them they will kick me out but this time for sure. I feel lonely and to be honest hopeless. to be honest i am crying at this very moment. I have been thinking of escorting or prostitution but that's not me i want to do this right but i just don't know how.








Edited for profanity

[Joe.]

Firstly, I want to say I feel for you, I really do. My parents said a lot of hurtful things to me when I first came out, they still don't understand, my mum said she can't accept it. Truth is they're just scared. Your parents don't want you to do it because they are genuinely worried it is a phase that you'll grow out of and that you're making a mistake. I know that you know it's not a phase but they don't. No parent is prepared for their child to tell them they're born in the wrong body. They're doing what everyone does when they're scared. They're panicking and saying stuff in panic. I'm not saying what they're doing is right because it's not. In fact, its horrible and outright mean. You don't need anybody's permission to transition other than your own. They don't want you to transition? Tough. They don't have to live in the wrong body for the rest of their lives. Once you have the confidence to transition (it may take a bit of time togain that cconfidence but I promise you it'll come) then you can be who you want to be. If your parents choose not to support you then fine, that's their problem. I realy hope though that when they see you as a happier person and you're confident in yourself, then they'll be happy too. I can't promise you that this journey is going to be easy, because it's not. I've had conversations with my parents that I never thought I'd have. Prepare yourself for the unexpected. At the end it'll all be worth it. I wish you all the very best.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Jorge ,

Welcome to our little family. Over 10715. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet  )O(

[Jamie D]

Jorge, I have a pretty good understanding of Hispanic culture, as I am out in southern California, have Hispanic relatives, and come from a family that had fluent Spanish speakers (me? not so much).

And it is difficult for your parents, because of the culture, to accept you for who you are.  They are not easily going to change.

But you said one thing in your post that made my heart glad.  That you were a straight A student and already have some college credits.  That is going to be your ticket out of a bad situation and into becoming the person you were meant to be.

Furthermore, when you get into college, you should be able to take advantage of the student health care system to discuss your gender issues with competent therapists, and help figure out where your path may lead.

¡Mis mejores deseos para su futuro!

[Jane's Sweet Refrain]

Jorge, My heart really goes out to you. I didn't tell my parents I was a girl until I was living fully on my own having been educated  and having achieved independence as a guy. They might have had a similar reaction. I know the pain must be severe, and it might feel like there are no solutions, but there are.

Jamie is right about college. It is the best path for getting the care you need and the education that will help you succeed as a woman. I'm no expert in college admissions, but may I suggest that you go and talk to an admissions counselor at a college that you might like to attend? You might need to tell them everything, but you should at least tell them that you have no parental support. I won't promise anything, but you may qualify for Pell grants, and the college might have you declared independent of your parents, which would qualify you for financial aid based on your income instead of theirs. Sometimes that's a big difference.

If the college has dorms, you would basically have food and shelter, in addition to a qualified counselor and medical staff, who might be able to help monitor your care.

As trans-women, our lives require us to be brave. You should appreciate the bravery you've already shown. Now, it's time to direct that bravery in smart ways by taking advantage of the best options available to you.

You can do this.

Jane