How to not let transition consume you?

[EmmaS]

Over the last 8 months or so the idea of transitioning or the transitioning itself has completely consumed me. I find I'm way less productive in school, at work, with friends even and for whatever reason that's all that's on my mind constantly. It's obvious significant part of our lives to transition and it's something we need, not want, but how do you do it without it "leaking" into everything in your life? I've really struggled with that personally and I've heard many people that feel the same but what have you all done to stop it from eating at you so much? I understand this isn't a yes or no question, so I apologize in advance for how it's worded. I just wish I could transition without it being on my mind 24/7 because it's exhausting.

[Medusa]

And what holding you from transitioning ?
In my own experience it is just our fears there is not any real obstacles

[Bexi]

What really helped me was getting away from it all - the forums, the constantly checking yourself in the mirror for changes, worrying about stuff - and getting on with life.

Transitioning is a long process, but seems to pass more quickly if we don't focus our attentions on it and let the hormones work their magic on the groundwork we've set in place.

Eventually, there comes a point where you look in the mirror and something subtle has changed, and it almost feels like its snuck up on you. Its a good feeling!

x

[Nero]

Well, I'm probably not the best person to ask at the moment. Something other than trans issues is currently eating me alive, sapping my productivity, and sucking my blood.

However, when it came to transition, I focused more on the person I wanted to become after transition than the transition process itself. You're in the middle of a transformation. You're becoming a woman. But you don't just want to be any woman. You want to be your own unique brand of woman. So, who is that? What are her goals after transition? What does she want in her new life? Then work towards those things now. Put your 'transition energy' into her work, her school, her friends. I wish I had taken my own advice. 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Let me ask this.  Were you all consumed when you went the your last puberty?  Probably not.  And transition is just that, a second puberty.  Focusing on you, your studies, your work and your friends.  You are just a young girl who is growing up, just take each day for what it is worth.  A present.

[kathy bottoms]

What really helped me was getting away from it all - the forums, the constantly checking yourself in the mirror for changes, worrying about stuff - and getting on with life.

I completely agree.  Getting away from the forum, not staring in the mirror all the time, and making a daily schedule is big in my book.  It improved my concentration, but it also helped me communicate with everyone (wheather they like it or not).  I'll leave Susan's for a while, then come back only when I have problems.  I'll post for a few weeks to cool down, and then make plans to stay offline again.  Anyway it also makes my wife happier to stay offline and talk to her more.    And I think it might be close to that time again for me.

You might also think about keeping a diary.  A few girls told me it might work, and I found it really focused everything into a short period each day, and acts as self therapy.  Honestly it makes my life much better, and the rest of the day becomes almost carefree.

Kathy

[Alainaluvsu]

Just know... after transition it's no big deal. You'll find your way if you're a strong enough person and it's meant to be. The first few months is fun and exciting, and at the same time scary and nerve wracking. Lots of tasks involved in name changes, hair removal, coming out, buying clothes, and relearning yourself. But after those first few months (or however long it takes you to get it all done), it's no biggie.

It's like going from a job you've always hated to doing something you've always wished you could get paid for. At first you're glad it's all over. Then you're excited and you hope and worry that you will be successful. You put in so much detail, do research to make sure you can do it forever. Then when you see everything is going well, you're finally at peace. Lastly, it's just an everyday thing. You're alive and everything is so ho hum.

[Rita]

I just dont think about it, once in a while it does take some focus but every other day (even in boy mode) I just consider myself a normal woman.  My major transitional issues have past(where I was obsessed and rightly so for a short period of time.

[Heavenlywind]

For myself I try not to think about it. I drowned myself in other things that I liked to do that were thought provoking, as well as running.  At least that worked for me for years until the beginning of this year. At the beginning of this year, I just decided to go for it and I got myself through the door so to speak. The thoughts of it consuming me has gradually reduced a lot. It also wasn't as bad I thought it would be. Makes me regret why I didn't just say screw it years ago and go for it.

[JennX]

Get a hobby or play a sport you enjoy. Remember, you are still you during and after transition. Do things that you enjoy, that aren't related to transitioning.

[Assoluta]

In my opinion, the reality is that you will become somewhat consumed and self absorbed in early transition - it's a necessary stage of introspection and change that comes very naturally with many people's transitions I've seen, including my own. I agree with what others say in respect of reducing the "obsession" over it and trying to live life, but also forgive yourself and realise it's OK to feel rather consumed and overwhelmed by it all. I certainly was, but now it feels like that "devil" of gender dysphoria inside me has finally be exorcised, and it'll happen for you too!

[crazy at the coast]

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

[kinz]

In my opinion, the reality is that you will become somewhat consumed and self absorbed in early transition - it's a necessary stage of introspection and change that comes very naturally with many people's transitions I've seen, including my own. I agree with what others say in respect of reducing the "obsession" over it and trying to live life, but also forgive yourself and realise it's OK to feel rather consumed and overwhelmed by it all. I certainly was, but now it feels like that "devil" of gender dysphoria inside me has finally be exorcised, and it'll happen for you too!

yeah!! good words!  i was sorta obsessed too but i've been workin' out my life and doing things and it feels good now that there isn't a background feed of other stuff blaring in the background uncomfortably.

[natastic]

Picture yourself in a boat on a river,
With tangerine trees and marmalade skies.

<3

[suzifrommd]

I've really struggled with that personally and I've heard many people that feel the same but what have you all done to stop it from eating at you so much?

I don't fight my feelings. I try to enjoy the ride (even this week which has been extra crappy). I know it ?!$$es people off when I say this, but deep down I believe I'm lucky to be transgender - it gives me a richer life experience.

[Nero]

I've really struggled with that personally and I've heard many people that feel the same but what have you all done to stop it from eating at you so much?

I don't fight my feelings. I try to enjoy the ride (even this week which has been extra crappy). I know it ?!$$es people off when I say this, but deep down I believe I'm lucky to be transgender - it gives me a richer life experience.

I believe the same thing. On some level anyway. If I had born 'right', I'd probably just be some boring, repressed redneck type. And I doubt I would have had the men I've had because I'd have probably been straight. I love the emotional connection only male lovers have. You don't get that with male on male friendships. And male on female connections are not the same. So, I at least was given something beautiful out of the deal that I with my personality and upbringing would never have had as a cis guy.

[Seyranna]

This self-absorbed/narcissistic phase will wear off by itself after roughly a year.

[Jenny_B_Good]

In my opinion, the reality is that you will become somewhat consumed and self absorbed in early transition - it's a necessary stage of introspection and change that comes very naturally.....and realise it's OK to feel rather consumed and overwhelmed by it all.

Too true!! I had this conversation with my electrologist, I was stating that I felt I was becoming a bit boring as my previous hobbies didn't seem engaging anymore, and I seemed to lose myself, and she said that it's normal and used the phrase " you become your own hobby for awhile..". It's so true.

I will add, don't forget that it's a HUGE effort to transition from one gender to another. I believe that so much emphasis is put on the hormones and not much is said about the mental transition that we all go through.
Try to be kind to yourself and remember ....

  All sunshine makes a desert.

OXOXO

Jenny

[Nero]

I believe that so much emphasis is put on the hormones and not much is said about the mental transition that we all go through.

This is true. I felt lost for some time after transition was over.