Will I EVER figure out if I am a transsexual or not?

[Puggal]

Ask yourself: Would I rather live as a man or woman, ideally?

The answer to that question alone should get you on the right path. 

[kelly_aus]

If the idea of being a woman excites you, but then dies down after a time, and the idea of enjoying being the alpha male is persistent, then I don't think you are transsexual, at least not in the traditional Harry Benjamin standards sense.

It's 2013.. Can we, for the love of the goddess, stop invoking this name in relation to trans stuff?

[Jay-Bird]

It's 2013.. Can we, for the love of the goddess, stop invoking this name in relation to trans stuff?

Ya got my vote
+1

[Trans Truth]

I think being trans is a spectrum and umbrella thing. Labels are not all that useful, and one has to do whatever they need to.

By the way, have you read the case of Alice Novic? It presents yet another perspective on what is trans.

[oZma]

my opinion on whether or not I know I'm trans?

I'll never know... I live fulltime, people say I pass, that I'm pretty... I still don't know... I think that if I get a vag I'll know... probably won't.  if I can reach an orgasm with a vag, will that mean I'm trans? who knows... but more importantly, who cares?

I think you are too focused on 'being trans' and not focused enough on 'being yourself' :-)

you also have to ask yourself... what is i  construct of your social interaction with others, like the alpha male syndrome and what is natural... inclinations towards femininity?


imagine yourself away from all social interaction... a place where you could explore without dealing with your ego telling you who you are... thats the environment it took me to transition.  I was a regular guy with transition fantasies and fought them because I had a HUGE male ego and lots of friends who encouraged my ego... eventually I took a job away from these friends and was able to explore myself... turns out my male ego was a defense mechanism for my real feminine desires...  if I stayed around my friends,  i guarantee I would not have transitioned...

I feel many girls have this same problem

[MaidofOrleans]

my opinion on whether or not I know I'm trans?

I'll never know... I live fulltime, people say I pass, that I'm pretty... I still don't know... I think that if I get a vag I'll know... probably won't.  if I can reach an orgasm with a vag, will that mean I'm trans? who knows... but more importantly, who cares?

I think you are too focused on 'being trans' and not focused enough on 'being yourself' :-)

you also have to ask yourself... what is i  construct of your social interaction with others, like the alpha male syndrome and what is natural... inclinations towards femininity?


imagine yourself away from all social interaction... a place where you could explore without dealing with your ego telling you who you are... thats the environment it took me to transition.  I was a regular guy with transition fantasies and fought them because I had a HUGE male ego and lots of friends who encouraged my ego... eventually I took a job away from these friends and was able to explore myself... turns out my male ego was a defense mechanism for my real feminine desires...  if I stayed around my friends,  i guarantee I would not have transitioned...

I feel many girls have this same problem

I didn't have any friends holding me back, just my family. Turns out I was stupid and they are supportive of it 

[oZma]

I didn't have any friends holding me back, just my family. Turns out I was stupid and they are supportive of it 

yep, or brains seem to be wired to worry about EVERYTHING to the most extreme.  maybe its from the days we had to worry about lions and tigers and bears? lol

every part of transition for me was like a death bed of anxiety but after crossing each bridge I was like 'oh, dam... what was I so worried about!?'

I think the very hardest part was to admit to that very first person that I was trans.  I'm not talking about internet, but first face to face.  my therapist, then a friend... and btw, just saying I am having gender issues, or saying I'm trans out loud to another human being instead of keeping it locked up, can do amazing things :-)

[MaidofOrleans]

yep, or brains seem to be wired to worry about EVERYTHING to the most extreme.  maybe its from the days we had to worry about lions and tigers and bears? lol

every part of transition for me was like a death bed of anxiety but after crossing each bridge I was like 'oh, dam... what was I so worried about!?'

I think the very hardest part was to admit to that very first person that I was trans.  I'm not talking about internet, but first face to face.  my therapist, then a friend... and btw, just saying I am having gender issues, or saying I'm trans out loud to another human being instead of keeping it locked up, can do amazing things :-)

Agreed, I told me psychologist then my mother, both were extremely hard but it felt like a gigantic weight was raised off of me with each new person I told.

[Joanna Dark]

It sounds to me more like fantasy/fetish. If you don't want to be perceived and live socially as a girl, you should not transition. I don't want to be perceived as some trans elitist but also don't let other convince you of something you might really regret. Once you transition there is no going back. In fact, after a certain point on HRT, you may be sterile forever as well as some irreversible effects. It just seems if you want o be the alpha male and be perceived as such, it kind of is the opposite of being a woman. Woman are not alpha males. The question is if you could change your sex right now without any fallout and be perceived the rest of your life as female, would you do it? No more alpha businessman, no more locker room talk with the boys, you'd be a woman. Just my two cents.

[Lorri Kat]

I would agree with  Joanna .. Ultimus what you have stated falls more under transvestic fetishism.

For your continued use of hormones Sammy's question I believe was purrRfect, "do you want to die as a man or as a woman?....What is Your answer?" 

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

I would say that it is more than a fetish. After all it developed at a stage in life before sexual desires develop. That doesn't mean to say that he should transition, but that it is not likely to be and to me does not sound, purely sexual.

I would look at Sammy's question.

Good luck with it all :-)

Steph :-)
x

[JoanneB]

As others have said, transgender covers a very broad spectrum of behaviours and feelings. Studies have shown that even "normal" guys sometimes fantisize about what it is like being a woman. Are they "True" Transsexuals? No. Opposite end of the spectrum the occasional crossdresser? No.

I've spent countless hours trying to figure out if I am a transsexual. However, my perspective is comming from the opposite direction of yours. For me it's really a question of "Do I need to/have to transition" vs "Can I continue faking being a guy for another few decades though I really HATE it?". There is hardly anything about being male I can point to and say I like. Sure one can point to my professional career, the achievements I made, the pay and status I aquired and say "A woman couldn't have done that". The only way I was able to was because I diverted about all my personality into being a Super Engineer rather than being a person. All part of the grand plan to avoid thinking about my decision NOT TO transition in order to live up to others expectations for me.

My wife (a 25+ year post op MTF) has a great way of putting it. You have to be out of your mind to want to be a woman. To give up all the rights and privledges of a male. To know that you are rated on your beauty and ability to make babies. That by the time your 40, IT IS OVER. Which is why most cis women think we are a bit ... odd? Why give all that great guy stuff up?

You made up a great list of pros and cons. IMHO I'd rate you as a TV. I cannot even imagine where/how you fixated on TS based on what you've shared with us.

[Joanna Dark]

I'm not so sure of the rights and privileges of males anymore. Maybe upper class, old money white males but men took the hardest hit from the recession and are not coming back. Turn on the news and look at crime. It's everywhere. I don't care how high the market goes, there is something deeply wrong with this country. I've never experienced any of the privileges. The privilege to fight. To be imprisoned. To get laid off. I mean unless your upper class what are the privileges?

[MaidofOrleans]

I'm not so sure of the rights and privileges of males anymore. Maybe upper class, old money white males but men took the hardest hit from the recession and are not coming back. Turn on the news and look at crime. It's everywhere. I don't care how high the market goes, there is something deeply wrong with this country. I've never experienced any of the privileges. The privilege to fight. To be imprisoned. To get laid off. I mean unless your upper class what are the privileges?

Stop watching the news.

There has never been a better time to be alive than now. Read a history book and I'm not talking a biased or date spewing one I'm talking about ones focusing on the actual day to day existance of people on this planet. Trust me, we got it goooood.

[kira21 ♡♡♡]

b
Stop watching the news.

There has never been a better time to be alive than now. Read a history book and I'm not talking a biased or date spewing one I'm talking about ones focusing on the actual day to day existance of people on this planet. Trust me, we got it goooood.

^^ This ^_^ All Of It ^_^

[MaidofOrleans]

Is it? I still see a lot of ignorant and close-minded people wherever I look. And then I see others (upper class) who are more than happy with such state of affairs. Divide et impera still works as a charm.

Ya it is. I'm pretty sure you don't have to worry about being burned as a witch or a mongol raiding party attacking your village. Plague, torture, constant war as a means of political process, child labor, feudalism, the list goes on and on and on.

[MaidofOrleans]

I would agree with  Joanna .. Ultimus what you have stated falls more under transvestic fetishism.

For your continued use of hormones Sammy's question I believe was purrRfect, "do you want to die as a man or as a woman?....What is Your answer?"

Seems a kind of moot point to me. I've seen this used as a reason to detransition but to me when i'm dead I don't care what I died as because i'm dead and probably won't care about much.

All I care about is what I live as, what I die as is rather inconsequential.

[Heather]

I'm not so sure of the rights and privileges of males anymore. Maybe upper class, old money white males but men took the hardest hit from the recession and are not coming back. Turn on the news and look at crime. It's everywhere. I don't care how high the market goes, there is something deeply wrong with this country. I've never experienced any of the privileges. The privilege to fight. To be imprisoned. To get laid off. I mean unless your upper class what are the privileges?

Joanna I by know means upper class. But I don't take this pessimistic view on life the economy will go up it will go down. Kind of like my mood swings! But don't let what's happening now get you down and thinking that you will never move up in life. The news outlets in this country know that if they scare the crap out of people they'll keep watching. So that's what they do! Don't give up on your future yet.

[Joanna Dark]

I rarely watch the news but when you work really hard at college at get a great job for eight years and then can't even get a call back for a year and half and have a part-time job that pays scraps, it is a little hard to not get concerned. Despair can also be highly motivational. I think it is underestimated.

[Lorri Kat]

Seems a kind of moot point to me. I've seen this used as a reason to detransition but to me when i'm dead I don't care what I died as because i'm dead and probably won't care about much.

All I care about is what I live as, what I die as is rather inconsequential.

That is a good point. "Do you want to live as a man or as a woman?" would have a bit more construct validity.   Even then though there are many shades of grey between those two and only each individual in the end can make the determination for themselves where they fall.