For me personally, I don't think denial is easier. In fact, I think it is 100 times harder. If you believe in basic psychology, then there is an Id, and ego and a super-ego. I know these three things do something, but I don't remember what. They're very important though and my point is that each of us at our core has an immutable and an unchangeable self. For us trans folk, that self is in the wrong sex. It would be great if society treated it as a normal condition that can be easily rectified. In some respects, Iran is further along than the U.S. public with regards to attitude about transition. There, I believe if you get the approval of a mullah, you can transition. They do approve it. Iran is a more Western country than a lot of us would like to believe though and most people there are way cool. Sorry for the tangent. Anyhoo, when I think I might actually be able to do this, it feels like a giant weight is lifted.
I'm 100 percent though on the fact that I'm in the wrong sex, so if you have doubt, I don't know. I remember when I was your age about 12 years ago, I wanted to join the military, not to be hyper-masculine but to get the money to pay for a sex change. as I hadn't yet went to college and started a career. I was 100 percent back then as well. I can see myself on my porch in my mind's eye thinking if I served four years I could save every cent I earned and apply it to transition. I didn't know who would help, but I knew help was there if you had money. I feel/felt like Ethan Hawke In GATTACA except instead of my dream being going to Jupiter's moon, my dream I would do anything to accomplish is to change my sex and has been for a long time. Also, I thought the VA would help. I think they do. But I prob would've died in Iraq so there's that. For me it's more about being socially accepted as female. It's only tangentially related to sex. It goes deep to the core of who I am.
