Do you remember your first therapist visit? How did it go?

[holly_]

Hello everyone!

I have my first therapist visit coming up on Monday.  I'm really scared and nervous since I've never really told anyone face to face about my gender dysphoria. 

How did your first experience with a gender therapist go?

Also..I have my laser hair removal consultation today..woooo

[Jayne]

For my first session I was sooo nervous I didn't really sleep, when I got on the coach to London I put my headphones on & spent the 4 hr journey listening to Mike Oldfield & Enigma so by the time I arrived I was in a very calm state of mind.

My psychiatrist was very friendly & approachable, he asked me lots of questions about my history of being trans such as when I first realised I was trans, why did I feel I had to hide it, school life, family life etc.
The best advice I can give is not to worry & be honest, when I had my second appointment over a year later a different psychologist covered the same ground & had I told porkies then he's have caught me out as I often forget what I said yesterday, never mind what I said a year ago, this is why I say to be honest.
I imagine it would raise red flags all over the place if they thought for a second I wasn't being honest.

Best wishes

Jayne

[ZoeM]

I basically walked in and explained my story.
My therapist was new to the whole idea (Another transwoman recommended the clinic, but I got a newbie anyway), so she has been very cautious/take-it-slow throughout. Even when I made up my mind somewhere between visits 1 and 2.

I'll echo the call for honesty - even things that seem counter to the diagnosis you're looking for should go on the table. The last thing you want (in the long run) is to be diagnosed incorrectly either way.

Oh, and nerves are natural, but unwarranted. Barring criminal malpractice, you have nothing to fear. The therapist is your friend, not an obstacle to be overcome.

So, lots of obvious stuff. Remember the obvious and you'll be fine.

[cynthialee]

I was so scared I was near panic attack state. My palms were sweaty and my heart was racing.

By the time I left I was looking forward to my next session and wondering why in the world was I so worked up. For the next 14 months I faithfuly made every apointment and most of the time I was early.
Then on my last visit my therapist told me she would no longer be willing to see me as a client as she only accepts clients who are sick. As I was not in any way mentaly sick (that's how she put it) we were parting company.
So on the last visit we just hung out for a couple hours and chated about our lives. She refussed my last payment and parted company.
Occasionaly I run into her at local LGBT functions and we catch up.

I highly advise gender therapy at the beggining of a transition, especially if you feel you don't need it.

[DriftingCrow]

Good post. I am trying too find a therapist in my area but I think I've been avoiding it since I don't like the thought of having to explain myself to someone with a clip board. glad I have a better idea of what to expect.

[holly_]

Exactly!  It makes me uneasy/scared/afraid and even embarrassed!  But I know this is something that I need to do.  Must talk to someone who is knowledgeable and who understands.

[crazy at the coast]

Yes, the main thing about it for me was that it made me feel like me being trans was validated. I was already out to my dad and he had even set the time with the therapist when she had returned my call before the first visit since he knew I  was expecting it. That had actually surprised my therapist, lol. 

[AnarchoChloe]

I have my first appointment next week and I'm nervous as all get out. My mom is a shrink and growing up under that microscope has left me very leery toward mental health professionals. My therapist comes highly recommended though and she seemed really sweet on the phone. Still, there are massive butterflies in my stomach.

[~RoadToTrista~]

It was fine. I don't go anymore though, and hopefully I won't have to. Therapy overall made me very and sporadically uncomfortable that someone in the world knows my dirty little secrets, and I think it put me deeper in the closet. I don't get the fuss tbh. I guess it wasn't for me.

[PHXGiRL]

Your going to be alright I promise. You will feel wonderful when you leave.

My 1st time I remember it to a T! I was super nervous. I remember waiting in the waiting room patiently. Waiting for Courtney to call my name. Then out came Cory. My 1st therapist was a a FTM in transition. I had no idea prior to arriving. His online profile was all still set up as Courtney. I thought to myself this is meant to be. The greater being is telling me this is the right direction. That was my last thoughts before I walked into the room with my flatbill white sox hat tucked low. Wearing my Raiders shirt looking like a hoodlum. He goes so Mike what brings you in? Alcoholism addiction? drugs? (His main focus is substance abuse)... I go nope.. I'm Transgender. Spilled ALL the beans in five minutes without a breath. lol... His response was wow. "Did not expect that".. We hit it off and shared our thoughts for the rest of the hour and he just asked me generic questions. I saw him for 3 months every two weeks until he could not take any more 1 on 1 visits because he was primarily focusing on his addiction rehabilitation clients.

[DirtyFox]

The therapist I had ran a LGBT club so I knew it wasn't going to be a problem opening up at all. I no longer have contact with her (she moved states) so now I am a little wary. As for laser/electro, my electrologist told me guys get this done too, even if they don't admit to it. It really put me at ease not having to say anything but I opened up to her anyway. She was very understanding, so really I wouldn't worry about it too much. I take comfort in that I can always leave if I feel I haven't been treated with respect.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Actually my first visit, I was trying to save my marriage and was looking for some way to stop the feelings.  He explained that maybe I could get my wife to agree to a monthly night out with the girls.   HA.  Fat chance of that.

But a year later I returned to the same therapist to begin the process.  The ex and I had separated.  I ask him if he remembered me, and he said 'yes.'  I explained I was back to begin the process and he replied 'of course you are.  It was obvious to me that you are transsexual.' 

And he should know, he is FtM.

[King Malachite]

It was an online therapist and I remember being so excited to go!   I set my clock to make sure I didn't miss the appointment.  My first session went very well.  She first asked me if I was an MtF or FtM because sometimes it's hard to tell lol.  Then, we talked about my family and school life, my goals, and what I want out of transition.  We also discussed my weight, my addiction to food, and potential plans for me to get weight loss surgery.  It was basically a "get to know you" type appointment.

[Cindy]

I can just about remember. I was shown to a big comfy chair. He asked what name I preferred to be used, and he has never forgotten it. He next question was. Now tell me why you are here? He asked some clarification questions at times. Told me the procedure for TG people in South Australia, told me the outline of my treatment, costs etc. and was extremely pleasant and comfortable to be with.

I have finished with all of that now unless either of us wants a talk, then it's a phone call to ask him for a quick chat, I have never needed that. I was totally honest in all of my discussions, answers and thoughts. Why hide the crap we live with? I was there for help not to play hide and seek. At any time that I felt uncomfortable about stuff I said so and we would move on and explore those areas when I was OK.

When I needed to go through an awful incident of sexual assault he handled it with extreme sensitivity and care, in fact the only prompts I got where on concern for me and my feelings.

I have to say I enjoyed my therapy sessions, I found a woman who I'm very happy being and very proud of. I always knew she was there but she needed some help to walk in the sunshine.

[Brownshoe]

 My first visit to the therapist is difficult to remember because it was a long time ago. The time we now spend talking is just old friends visiting and enjoying each others company. With her no subject is taboo and always honest and open. May you find a therapist with the same understanding. Best of luck.

[aleon515]

I started therapy about 8-9 months ago. (I don't see him every week.) I was right off very comfortable with him and was only a little nervous (hey I'm an experienced therapy victim). I didn't know I was transsexual (hate the word), but more genderqueer or androgyne. The first session wasn't very heavy-- I signed some forms (yes, I am aware therapy can bring up painful feelings, etc.); he asked me about suicide and that type of thing. First thing he asked me my name that I want to be called and my preferred pronouns. My therapist is trans. So it has been very good, easy to talk about stuff. He sometimes tells me what something will be like (changing name, seeing a doctor re: T).

--Jay

[Rachel]

When I left fom my 1st encounter with a Gender Theripist I was walking on air. I liteally felt like there was nothing under my feet. I felt even, steady and relief. I was not happy, not sad but sooooooo relieved. I parked at the top of a parking garage and when I left the sun was setting and the setting sun light was putting different colors and hughs throughout the downtown high rise buildings. I sat in my car and felt "me" for the first time in my life. I have tears running down my cheaks as I type this, tears from me the girl inside who is now allowed to grow and is welcomed.

This was the 1st person face to face I had told I was trans. I dumped my whole "self" onto this person. Lots of tissues, tears of pain. So much was in my mind and so much was coming back that I surpressed. It was so very good, painful,  but good.

I am happy to be me  and this was was my 1st step.

[Cindy]

When I left fom my 1st encounter with a Gender Theripist I was walking on air. I liteally felt like there was nothing under my feet. I felt even, steady and relief. I was not happy, not sad but sooooooo relieved. I parked at the top of a parking garage and when I left the sun was setting and the setting sun light was putting different colors and hughs throughout the downtown high rise buildings. I sat in my car and felt "me" for the first time in my life. I have tears running down my cheaks as I type this, tears from me the girl inside who is now allowed to grow and is welcomed.

This was the 1st person face to face I had told I was trans. I dumped my whole "self" onto this person. Lots of tissues, tears of pain. So much was in my mind and so much was coming back that I surpressed. It was so very good, painful,  but good.

I am happy to be me  and this was was my 1st step.

So So true

C

[kelly_aus]

I can just about remember. I was shown to a big comfy chair. He asked what name I preferred to be used, and he has never forgotten it. He next question was. Now tell me why you are here? He asked some clarification questions at times. Told me the procedure for TG people in South Australia, told me the outline of my treatment, costs etc. and was extremely pleasant and comfortable to be with.

I have finished with all of that now unless either of us wants a talk, then it's a phone call to ask him for a quick chat, I have never needed that. I was totally honest in all of my discussions, answers and thoughts. Why hide the crap we live with? I was there for help not to play hide and seek. At any time that I felt uncomfortable about stuff I said so and we would move on and explore those areas when I was OK.

When I needed to go through an awful incident of sexual assault he handled it with extreme sensitivity and care, in fact the only prompts I got where on concern for me and my feelings.

I have to say I enjoyed my therapy sessions, I found a woman who I'm very happy being and very proud of. I always knew she was there but she needed some help to walk in the sunshine.

Cindy and I share the same therapist, so it was much the same for me.. I still have a regularly scheduled appointment though - 30 mins every 2nd month.. After what happened to me today, I'm looking forward to the next appointment somewhat..

[Heavenlywind]

I had my first appointment on Valentines day (what a great day to have the 1st appointment :p)..  I was scared and nervous, I had to drive into the city and than park..Than walk about 30-40 minutes.. Due to being nervous I walked the wrong way without realizing. and I was late by 15 minutes.. I did call her when I noticed I was going the wrong way.

I'm not entirely sure why I was so nervous, but she seemed nice at least thats what I got. We went over some long packet I had to fill out.. I mean it was really really long, it was around 20+ pages asking questions. 35 minutes later sessions are usually 50 minutes long. It was over and it wasn't as bad as I thought it was. Before I left her office she noticed my headphones and asked what type of music I listen to.. I told her I listen to all types, but mostly metalcore and classical. She looked at me and said, "I didn't expect you to listen to metalcore, by just looking at your clothes." My clothing style is lolita if anyone didn't know. I said with a chuckle, you should have seen me when I was wore punk lolita, ero lolita and visual kei.  Nine hours later she e-mailed me and was like .

On the walk back to my car, I realized something and that all my previous therapists had curly hair.. Not sure if that means anything, but I doubt it.. Than I was treated to sitting in traffic for an hour and 30 minutes.