Quote from: particle on December 18, 2013, 07:45:05 AM
I'm a man with a psychological or neurological defect which causes me to believe I have a female self image.
(Please don't assume I think this applies to anyone but me)
You could be right; it could be a psychological defect, where, as with other mental health conditions, your brain "tricks" you into believing that you're someone that you're not. I have similar thoughts occasionally, predominantly because I have the (likely delusional) idea that I can "fight it" and live as a complete male. To be honest, most of the time I find being transgendered really tedious. It's just really boring having gender at the forefront of my thoughts every day. I imagine that if my brain matched my body I would rarely think about my gender. I mean why would I?
The alternative is that you, we, have brains that are structured much like female brains. This is not just conjecture on my part, there are many recent studies now showing distinctive physical differences between male and female brains. Yes, there are probably more similarities between male and female brains than there are differences, but it could be that those few differences are enough to make the gender distinctions at a neurological level. I suppose you could call this a defect, but only in the sense that our brains have formed in the wrong body.
If it is the case that the brain does not match the body, in a very general and basic sense, I wouldn't say that we are referring to a defective brain. That is, the brain is functioning normally, but it identifies as a gender incongruous with the body in which it is housed. There is, however, another quite compelling theory that claims the brain is a product of how the body interacts with its environment. This theory is was formulated in response to the so far failed attempts at true artificial intelligence (AI) research, where self-awareness and consciousness can be recreated "in the lab".
The theory holds that, uncontroversially, the body is the input tool used to feed the brain information about its environment. But you can't do this quickly, as AI researchers have been doing so far, by punching and crunching data and then feeding it into their AI device. Rather, from the first to the last time a human picks up, say, a banana, it is not only identifying it's shape, colour, texture and smell, but it is compiling the entire experience as a whole. That is, everything to do with that banana is being processed. Time, place, sounds, emotional state, other minds, everything, so that the end result is an experience that forges an ongoing physical and emotional state of being that, combined with a perpetual myriad of other states, gives rise to consciousness.
I was going to write something about the "brain in a vat" thought experiment, but I've lost interest and probably said enough already.
As I said before, I don't know why I'm TG. But I do know that it's pretty much messed up my life for good. My partner just ended our relationship of over 10-years because of my TG disclosure. I am at odds with my being TG. I am yet to identify with anyone in the TG "community" at all (and that's not through lack of trying). I love being with women, but, as discussed with my ex, I will now have to be upfront about my gender/sexuality. This is great in that it means I'm seeking someone who will like me for who I am and that it's the right thing to do anyway. But it also not only narrows my partner prospects but leaves me in a very precarious position regarding disclosure – as you all know, once it's out there, it's out there. Lucky I have an introverted, private personality, I guess, because I'll be spending a lot of time alone. One of the things that irks me about this situation is that, even if I wanted to be more social, I don't really have a choice in the matter.
Edited for profanity
