dreaming as your birth sex

[secondo]

i sometimes get really insecure about my identity because of this. i dont think that i've had many dreams as a boy. the only time ive dreamt that i was a boy was years ago, before i identified as a boy, and in the dream i looked like a transguy in transition, which in retrospect may have jump started my gender identity exploration. but other than that, even now that im out in school, i don't really dream that i am a boy. it might just be that i'm so early into my transition (pre-t, not out at home) and i'm still having to get rid of a lot of stuff from my old life.
do you folks have any similar experiences? are you your identified gender/do you look like your ideal self in your dreams? or do you not notice?

tim

[Carrie Liz]

No need to worry, it's a gradual thing. Your "dream self" just tends to be a reflection of what you are thinking and feeling at any given moment. Back when I was still just trying to live as a normal guy, I was usually just a normal guy in my dreams. (Although I did have MANY dreams where I was a girl too, just maybe only about once a month or so.) Since I started hormone therapy, it's kind of funny, my dream-self has adjusted along with it. Now the me that I see in my dreams all the time is a weaker effeminate guy, and HRT often enters into my consciousness while I'm dreaming, to the effect of things like "oh, God, I hope I can still do this" when I'm having to run away from things, and whatnot.

So from my experience at least, it changes depending on what your physical reality is at any given moment, regardless of who you truly identify yourself as.

[ConfusedGirlRuby]

I wouldn't worry too much. Dreams tend to be a reflection of immediate memories, or thoughts from the last week or so being processed by the brain. Your "dream-self" is usually how you appear in the present or past, rarely how you picture yourself in the future.

[Heather]

I don't think that not dreaming your a guy means anything. Most of my dreams I could not tell you my gender. There is very few times I could. One recent example of me knowing my gender in a dream was because I looked in a mirror in that dream and I was a woman. But I do think that is because I'm living part of my life as myself. So now I have experience for my mind to work with. I do have dreams about being trans but mostly that's about people finding out but to be honest I haven't had many of those dreams lately. I guess it's because I'm out to a lot of people and I don't have the fear of being discovered anymore. I think dreams is just the mind playing out stuff that bothers you. But I wouldn't let dreams determine what gender you are.

[ford]

Agree with the others here. My dream self has been 'transitioning' with me. I even have 'coming out' dreams, which can be a little distressing.

In my opinion dreams have very little bearing on who you are...they are more like reflections of your thoughts and anxieties, so I wouldn't get hung up on this.

[AlexD]

I don't think I've ever dreamt I was male. I've even dreamt of being pregnant, and of having penis-in-vagina sex as the woman (which is the exact opposite of what I want from sex).

It's pretty distressing, and definitely makes me doubt the validity of my dysphoria. What's worse is that my mother always dreams of herself as a man, which reflects how she's always seen herself, and she likes to use that as proof I'm not really a boy, because even she dreams of herself as a man and she doesn't want to transition or use male pronouns, therefore I certainly shouldn't.

A similar thing is the gender of characters I create in role-playing games. The vast majority of the time, I choose female. According to my mother, if I was truly male, my instinct would be to only make male characters. Which is, of course, what she does. I'm pretty sure it's nonsense, since there are other factors that influence my choice of character, and it's extremely common for men to create mainly female characters... but it still makes me doubt.

[Jeepgirl90]

The thing i've realized about dreams is that the dream version so to speak of yourself will more likely reflect who you are/how you present at the time. Most times like in my own experiences, In my dreams, I will be wearing an outfit that I may of worn a few days before. Although honestly I'm have always been Feminine in my dreams, not necessarily female, more recently that has changed and I am 100% female in my dreams now, Its funny how the mind works.

[peky]

In my dreams  I am always a woman, a cat, or a tigress...weird but I have never dream as a boy.

[Darkflame]

Oh my god this  this is exactly what I get, I dream that I'm my birth gender often. Like how I used to be. A tomboy. I have found that the more people I come out to and the further I get in transitioning, the more dreams I have where I'm a dude. Before I started transitioning and before I even knew I was trans, I would have the occasional dream of being a guy. Idk, dreams are supposed to help our subconscious process the events of the day. Maybe dreaming as your birth gender is your brains way of processing the transition process 

[spacial]

I'm just me. Apart from that, I don't remember very much.

I was talking the other day, to my chiropodist who said in his dreams he is always naked. He was idly wondering what it might mean.

I told him, in absolute truth and certainty, it's meaningless. Just our minds playing crap to keep us amused during sleep.

[Kevin Peña]

It's hard to dream that you're in your desired gender since that version of you never existed, so you can never know what you would look like. Therefore, your mind just goes to what you know you look like, by default. I just looked at some Hispanic girl in my school and sort of "borrowed" her appearance for my dreams. 

Don't let this make you insecure about your identity. The fact that this bothers you should be a sign. 

[Lesley_Roberta]

My dreams are always about what I like.

If you start dreaming about a seemingly contrary gender choice, it might be telling you something, and not what you might be thinking it is.

I never thought of myself as 'lesbian' in my past. It actually took a lot to realize it is possible to be in a male form, and be having obvious erotic thoughts of women, and not be a typical horny man.

Lesbians will have the same fantasies as cis males. Sure makes the world complicated doesn't it

[Jess42]

I wouldn't be too concerned with gender in dreams. Dreams are the subconscious mind processing what the concsious mind has experienced throughout the waking hours. Dreams are extremely useful in day to day life and the chances are that the more memorable the dream is, the more you need to try to understand it and use it to make decisions. Specific numbers in dreams are very significant. Dreams are extremely if not totally symbolic. Big example, death in a dream very rarely, if ever is a forboding of an actual physical death. It represents change.

As for books on the subject of dream interpretation, Carl Jung wrote one. I would tend to stay away from Sigmond though.

By the way, in most of my dreams I am niether male nor female. When I do dream gender specific and pay attention to what happens in real life, I see as to why I dreamed that way. That I needed to use those gender specific traits in order to face some obstacle.

[AlexD]

I dreamt I was a boy last night!

Well, sort of. I dreamt I was a young David Bowie, doing a naked photoshoot in which I had to keep tucking my penis to look sufficiently androgynous. Still, I got to have a dick for a few minutes! Thank you, brain.

[raven03054]

Dreams are by themselves a tricky thing. They don't encompass the way we view ourselves presently or even in the future. They show ourselves as our mind processes the information it has. Day dreaming is how we see the past, present, and future. Night dreams is how we download that information. A good portion of the dreams we have at night are lost as soon as we wake up, but its the ones we remember that we dwell on. I myself have had several where I was my birth sex (male) and even others where I saw myself as the woman and I will one day become. Dreams don't neccessarliy show us our doubts and fears, they show us everything. So hang in there, for as long as you believe you are doing the right thing your subconscious will catch up eventually.

[Disgusting]

Lately in my dreams, I'm at the same stage that I am currently: pre-everything, occasionally passing but usually not.  I'm just as bummed about things in my dreams as I am in waking life, and sometimes they outright depress me.  At least in my dreams I sometimes have the metaphorical balls enough to correct people who misgender me.  I can't bring myself to do it for real, no matter how bothered I am by the pronouns...

[Chaos]

My dreams are more of the future and need then current or past (yes im weird so hold that thought) Lets see,i had this one freaky ream (wont go into it tho) about GRS and what my new (parts) looked like.I had a dream about my new name and how it basicly has chosen me (still havent changed it fully yet so yeah) Had another dream LONG before back when i started learning about being trans which the dream in its self was weird.my birth self picking at me in a child form about telling my *secret* and my real adult self telling it *not yet but when its time,i will tell them* was wow but i can say in my dream,my appearance is based on the current.i do however fantasize as a male and many other things but as far as dead asleep and dreaming,no i do not play the *physical male* but my overall carrying is about as it is now.most of my other dreams are about those fake times i played as a female,the make up,being made fun of,knowing i was this person that wore a mask.so i see the dreams above as the truth and all the *female* dreams as nightmares.

[DrillQuip]

Before I started questioning my gender I always had dreams of me being female. After I questioned my gender ID and started living as male full time my dreams have followed suit and I see myself as a young man in them.

In one dream I was an apprentice who was pursued by a male master who tried to rape me. When I escaped him initially, I met up with a middle aged man, also my superior, who told me to cross a great river to escape my pursuer. When I got to the river I was accompanied by a boy who was around 8 years young. He swam ahead and lead me to the center of the huge river and then he couldnt go any further. In the middle of the river was a long, mechanical thing with long pieces of pastel colored fabrics being sewn together by needles. I tried to carry the boy across this thing, but the needles stabbed my legs and got stuck in the flesh so I had to go back. I never made it across that river...

No idea what it means, but it was interesting since it was the first dream I ever had where I was male.

[tomthom]

I'll be honest about my dreams. I've never seen myself. there has never been a mirror or a situation to accurately identify myself as either sex. I've been in romantic situations in dreams as well, but again, nothing actually identified me as anything. I guess my dreams are the perfect example of androgynous thought.

[bingunginter]

I never once dreamed in my target gender. Not sure what this means.