Please help (hair again)

[Edge]

Ok let me just start by saying that I have no clue what kind of hair I want. I just want it to look good, stop being poofy, and help me look like a guy. Please, please, please help.
How can I make it stop poofing?
Does cutting it shorter help?
How much work and product does it take to spike up hair that is, say, 1 1/2 to 2 inches long?
Are there any haircuts where I could spike it up if I have the time and money, but that would also look good it I don't?
The back of my head is very difficult to straighten and has a tendency to go poofy. Also, if the top of the back of my head is longer than the bottom of the back of my head, trying to spike it up looks incredibly stupid. What should I do with the back of my head that would look good?
I used to want longish bangs, but have learned that longer bangs on me tend to poof and make my head look round.
I have wasted hours looking for something that I like and that might work and have found nothing. I am seriously frustrated.
I would rather have a kind of punkish, mad scientist look. And yes, I am vain. Please, please, please help. I am so frustrated with this. I will send cyber cookies if anyone can help.

[Nero]

I think the cut you like with it very short in back would help. It can't 'pouf' if there's nothing there. Then just straighten the top.
But you may be trying to get a look that just doesn't work with your hair type. A hairdresser should be able to help you if you explain to him or her everything you've posted. Maybe they can find a compromise between the style you want and your hair type.

[Edge]

Since I'm thinking about my hair again and I'd just name the thread the same thing since it's the same exact topic, I figure I should just continue here.
I have an appointment on Saturday when I will go in, warn the person that I don't know what I want and ask her advice. I've had my hair cut by her before and she's open to that sort of thing. However, I also want to ask for opinions here. Would this be enough information for her? What would you suggest?

What I want:
-a haircut/style I like that works with my hair type and looks at least alright with my face shape
-to look male. Looking androgynous is fine.
-something that suits my personality. I'm the kind of guy that practically lives for folklore (especially Scandinavian at the moment), listens to germanic medieval metal, likes comic book supervillains, and wants to be a mad scientist. I would like my hair to reflect that somehow.

What I DON'T want:
-to look like a butch woman. I am neither butch nor a woman and I hate that look on me.
-volume. I hate the poofy thing my hair does and want to get rid of it. Or find some way to work with what my hair already does without it looking stupid.
-spikes only on the top pointing upward. It looks weird to me.
-something high maintenance. I don't have the time or inclination to spend more than ten minutes on my hair and I have no talent for anything beyond simple.
-to be "cute" or "pretty." I'm the kind of guy who likes monsters, not ponies.

What I like:
-long on top and/or in the front and short in the back, but since my hair goes poofy, this doesn't work
-some hair hanging over my forehead whether it's bangs, a chunk, or a few strands (not emo)
-mohawks or mohawk-like cuts. (Not the kind of hair where people use way too much gel to gather it towards the middle, an actual cut. Not tall either.) The problem with this is that I most likely have the wrong face shape, I wear glasses, and I don't like drawing too much attention to myself. Even if I didn't have those problems, I am unsure about width, length, and what to do with it.
-I wouldn't mind the hair I have if it was either a bit shorter or I grew it out a bit if it did not poof. The problem is that it does poof.


Btw, as far as I've been told, my hair isn't thick. It just likes to stick out in inconvenient ways and never how I want it to.

[SunKat]

On the poofiness thing... ask your stylist about texturizing or thinning.  There are a number of types of specialized shears that can be used to take some of the volume out of your hair while still leaving in some length. (Google 'Thinning Shears'. They look like toothed scissors and they allow your stylist to cut some hairs short while leaving other longer.)  If the volume of your hair is making everything stand up in a poodle puff, texturizing will help it to lay down flat again.

[Shang]

Is it poofy because it's curly?  If it's curly, you can straighten it at home with a perm kit or even an actual straightener kit. 

If it's just poofy, Fructis or however it's spelled has a good conditioner that helps to keep poofiness now.  That's about as much as I can help out with, though.  I'm not so good with styles.

[Edge]

Thanks, SunKat, I will look into that.

Is it poofy because it's curly?  If it's curly, you can straighten it at home with a perm kit or even an actual straightener kit.

It's curly/straight/wavy. It's poofy because it likes to stand up. Shorter hair stands up even more when I straighten it due to how I have to hold my hair away from head so I don't burn myself.

If it's just poofy, Fructis or however it's spelled has a good conditioner that helps to keep poofiness now.  That's about as much as I can help out with, though.  I'm not so good with styles.

Doesn't work on me. Unless there's a new one in which case I'll give it a try.

[Shang]

Thanks, SunKat, I will look into that.
It's curly/straight/wavy. It's poofy because it likes to stand up. Shorter hair stands up even more when I straighten it due to how I have to hold my hair away from head so I don't burn myself.
Doesn't work on me. Unless there's a new one in which case I'll give it a try.

Not with a straightener like that, a chemical one that costs about $8 from Wal-Mart.  I had poofy hair due to a perm that started to fall out [it looked like a tangled lion's mane it was so bad], but then I used a straightener and it worked just fine.  Well, I had to do it twice because I did it wrong the first time.

There's this one that it's in a small green bottle and it's leave-in.  It was able to tame my poofy hair a little bit.