Decisions

[kitten]

Hai hai everyone^^

So iv decided that once i tell my mother (next time I see her in person probably next weekend.) that I'm trans and that i do not wish to live my future pretending to be a male I'm not. I am probably gonna end up changing my skype name to my desired name instead of my given name (Everyone on my mothers side of the family and most of my friends know my Skype name is my given name and if i change it they are sure to question this.) and everyone who then deems it necessary to ask me what its about I will explain my situation to them because I'm tired of pretending to be what I'm not and if they cant accept it or try to give me trouble for it i will know to simply cut my ties there until they are ready to accept me for who I actually am not who iv pretended to be all these years.

So anyone else ever drop ultimatums and or commit to mass revelations? I for one am glad I'm taking this decision because I'm tired of stressing out wondering what people in my family and friends will think and this way I will know who will and who wont support me.

[bethany]

I posted a note on facebook telling everyone that I am transgendered. Here is the thread where I talk about it

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,135091.0.html

[Shana]

I had posted it on my old facebook page announcing it to all the people I didn't feel were important enough to tell directly. I didn't make it a choice, I made it a fact and said deal with it or we're done, and that came with surprisingly well results, though I did have to explain things to a few who were interested/didn't understand.

[kitten]

I would go the facebook approach but the town i live in is tiny and everyone knows each other so one day when I'm actually passable i will do so^^

Also just thought about the fact that it might shock my cousin poor kid looks to me as his male role model also makes me think about how my friend iv known since i was 5 might react considering he isn't very fond of women for the most part. (Bad experiences with his mother and sisters.)

[Shana]

It seems we have/had a very similar situation. I live in a small town, population is 1890 last it was checked, everyone knows everyone and one person knowing means everyone most likely will x.x; I don't plan on staying here though, as much as I love it, I need to get to somewhere else and start fresh...

My best friend is terrified of women for the most part, he's had bad experiences growing up all his life and has the worst luck with women. I told him about me personally but also gave him an ultimatum. I told him everything, told him I'm not here to betray him or anything like that, I'm still me and will still always be there for him as a true friend, but I made it clear that if he chooses not to accept this about me, I'm not gonna be able to stay friends because it's 100% real and happening and there's nothing that can be done to stop it. Things totally worked out It just took him time to adjust.

[kitten]

Interesting to know^^ Hopefully he takes it ok, he has asperger syndrome so he doesn't always take so well to changes but I'm am definitely gonna let him know that though in the future I'm going to look and sound different (Well hopefully.) at the core I'm going to remain me for the most part.

[kitten]

I'm actually hoping this will start a question and answer phase in them and make them want to question me for answers because I only ever really my father in person most of the time. (I see the rest of my family maybe once ever 3-5 months even though they don't live that far away because I would have to pass through my mothers house (I can't drive so she would probably give me a ride if I asked to visit someone from the family.) and long as she keeps the *thing* she calls a boyfriend around i refuse to do so.) I honestly think my mother will take it well enough and even though she may not understand what I'm going through she will make an effort to try. I understand the rest of my family might want a more personal approach because it is very impersonal but it gets them all on the same page at which they can help each other come to terms with it. Also impossible for me to be empathetic about their feeling regarding all this (Very literal about that I have not felt empathy for a long time, makes it really hard to understand someone feelings when you don't know what it feels like to feel a point of knowledge I'm hoping to get back one day.) and if i have to cut someone from my life easier to do it now rather than when I'm no longer emotionally suppressed.

(Rereading that it sounds much colder than I usually am but its how i feel about all of this since iv been a incredibly passive person for the past 10 years its one way to show that the real me isn't gonna take the back seat as often so time to deal with it.)

[kitten]

Thank you for the moral support^^