I totally share your frustrations, as I've gone through the exact same excercises (trolling name websites, feeling too connected to my birth name, feeling like *nothing* fits me).
And I still don't have an answer.....I've bounced around from Nat (given name, unisex enough to keep if I want) to Natalie to Caitlin to Lisa to Leah back to Caitlin to Catriona.....ad nauseum.
And nothing really feels right.
Currently I'm chewing on "Meredith" and for no rational or quantifiable reason, I like it. I suppose what I'm learning is that no name will magically feel like it fits, at least in my case. I just have to pick a thing, say it over and over again to myself, practice signing it, and either tell people to call me it, or simply toss it on the heap of discarded names.
Seriously, though, I feel ya man. Re-naming oneself suxxorz.
