People being offended for other people.

[tomthom]

Does it bother anybody else?

[EmmaS]

Can you give me an example? Like one person defending someone else?

[tomthom]

like somebody makes a racist joke and the actual person of race is not offended but a bystander chooses to cause a stink because of it.

[EmmaS]

I want to say a lot on this, but I can't find it in myself to post it I personally could be "that bystander". I don't find jokes concerning bigotry funny or tolerable.

[tomthom]

but that's the thing, it's generally not bigotry. not all racist jokes are inherently racist.

then again, perhaps I'm jus ecessivel lighthearted and think if somebody is actually offended they should fight for themselves. in that case I give my full backing if in fact an offensive statement was uttered and the victimized group was hurt.

but if it's something along the lines of "All asians are good at math," well then I don't really are much. sure, it's a stereotype, but who cares? Kind of like the PR move for speedy Gonzalez in the 80's (or was it the 90's?) Mot people of latin descent (like myself) were just happy to be represented in a comedic format. nobody cared if it was a little offensive.

[EmmaS]

Okay, I agree with what you are saying partially. Saying "All Asians are smart" is not a negative comment, it's a good thing to be smart( I think 99.9% of us can agree on that), but I think it leaves the door open to negative racism. If you can say "All Asians are smart", then what is stopping you from saying "All black people are dumb and untrustworthy", nothing is stopping you and that is extremely rude to have that mindset. I personally HATE stereotyping and I think we all should; I don't want people to think Jerry Springer when I "come out", I want them to give me a fair chance to explain everything and them to actually get to know me. Sure, we all make initial impressions, but you can be less judgmental if you try. That's my two cents, if that makes any sense. Again, if I'm with good friends or something, I won't make a big deal of it as long as no one gets offended by it and I'll just let it brush by usually.

[tomthom]

surprisingly I almost have no judgement. I just like jokes. In fact I think those jokes brought me closer to those ethnic groups that are being "insulted"

but yeah, I agree that stereotyping can get nasty pretty fast.

[EmmaS]

So people like you aren't the problem, but the fact that there are "some bad apples" ruins it completely in my opinion. Have I made a "racist" joke in my life? Sure I can admit it, but I would feel similar to you and now I don't do it at all.

[eli77]

No, I don't feel that people should be left to stand up for themselves. It can be really hard to stand up to a bully, especially if you are in a vulnerable position. I have no problem at all telling someone they are being racist if they are being racist.

The more I've lived and moved outside of my protective, privileged, etiquette-laced bubble of academia, the lower my tolerance for people treating other people like crap. A couple years ago, I had a cabdriver tell me that he didn't like the area he lived in much anymore because it was getting rather "dark" with a knowing smirk. I am still mad at myself for not making a scene. But back then I was still recently transitioned and shy and my mum was there and didn't say anything and... Excuses. Today I'd make a scene. I'm done with tolerating peoples' vileness.

I think you do have to make a judgement call. I think there are ways to politely and kindly and privately correct someone's behaviour if you feel they weren't actually TRYING to be a horrible person. I think there are situations where terrible, offensive jokes can be appropriate. Because there is a trust level there that the person doesn't mean it, and that anyone can speak out if they are bothered or if it goes too far. My best friend is disabled and I'm queer and trans. And we say horrible things to each other. But that is different. Obvs. It's a question of context and of the meaning behind the words and the trust in that relationship.

In casual relationships? In work places? In taxi cabs for chrissake? No. No. No tolerating that stuff. Tolerating that stuff is a way of saying "it's okay to be a bigot." And it's not okay. It's never okay.

And it's fine if bigots think I am a bitch. I am entirely okay with that. Humans are NASTY, man. And I'm sick of pretending like I need to be nice to everyone. I don't. You break the contract of civility and I'm not bound by those rules either.

[EmmaS]

I knew I wouldn't be the only one to consider ranting over this haha

[~RoadToTrista~]

Well I have a sense of humor for some off-color jokes, but if for example you said that I can't be offended by something that's flat out racist to blacks because I'm asian, that doesn't sit right with me. I can be offended because racism in general is just bad. I wouldn't want it to happen to me.

But jokes are just jokes, lol

[Adelkhf]

For me, there is a difference in saying something racist/sexist and actually being racist/sexist. I mean a joke is a joke. It's not supposed to be factual, nobody is supposed to believe in it. In that regard I don't believe people have the right to be offended for someone else. They might not find something funny or find it distasteful but they are not the ones in the position to be offended. They are not the ones to decide what offends someone else.

This is different from say, attacking someone for their race or discriminating against someone because of the colour of their skin. That goes beyond the realms of being offensive and into being flat out wrong where it should never be tolerated by anyone.

[Beth Andrea]

but that's the thing, it's generally not bigotry. not all racist jokes are inherently racist.

then again, perhaps I'm jus ecessivel lighthearted and think if somebody is actually offended they should fight for themselves. in that case I give my full backing if in fact an offensive statement was uttered and the victimized group was hurt.

but if it's something along the lines of "All asians are good at math," well then I don't really are much. sure, it's a stereotype, but who cares? Kind of like the PR move for speedy Gonzalez in the 80's (or was it the 90's?) Mot people of latin descent (like myself) were just happy to be represented in a comedic format. nobody cared if it was a little offensive.

Not everyone is able to fight for themselves, for any number of reasons.

Also, telling jokes that others *will* find offensive (such as racist/sexist/homophobic jokes) creates an atmosphere of hostility and discomfort. Knowing that people are allowed to tell offensive/degrading jokes, makes everyone think "I hope it's not me he's going to joke about next time..."

For me, there is a difference in saying something racist/sexist and actually being racist/sexist. I mean a joke is a joke. It's not supposed to be factual, nobody is supposed to believe in it. In that regard I don't believe people have the right to be offended for someone else. They might not find something funny or find it distasteful but they are not the ones in the position to be offended. They are not the ones to decide what offends someone else.

This is different from say, attacking someone for their race or discriminating against someone because of the colour of their skin. That goes beyond the realms of being offensive and into being flat out wrong where it should never be tolerated by anyone.

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[Sara Thomas]

Does it bother anybody else?

Doesn't bother me a bit.

I'd rather see indignation in error, than willfully-silent acquiescence. 

[Fabian1994]

I do get offended for other people, but not about jokes since I got very dark humor anyway.
But it's different with serious things, for example here in my country the debate on gay marriage and adoption is in full swing right now, and when there are people saying "If we legalize that, then everybody who wants to marry a child or his sister or a turtle can do that too" or other bull, then i get offended, even though I'm not gay.

But if someone who I know as a decent person makes a crude joke, then I can laugh about that.





Edited for profanity.

[Adelkhf]

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What a well thought out and convincing argument 

[tomthom]

I agree. Again, I stress that if te offe des party is actually being hurt (like gay rights) ten I will fight to the death for them. But sometimes things are just in good fun.

[Kevin Peña]

Yes and no. If someone is getting punched in the face and is scared to fight back, I'll step in. 

However, I really don't like it when people are too politically correct. People laugh at racist jokes not in a "it's funny because it's true" sense, but because they see how ridiculous and stupid the typecasting is. People acknowledge that racist jokes are stereotypes, which is why people call them jokes.

Also, if someone makes a racist joke, let's say a black joke, and all of the black people are fine with it, then intervening just makes you a party pooper. If someone says that a situation is fine and means it, then just leave the situation alone. 

[Rachel85]

I'm a nurse and as a general rule we have a fairly darker sense of hour than most people but I really can't stand racist jokes.
Stereotypes exist in all levels of our lives and there isn't a lot we can do about that, we all do it no matter how much we try, its just generally how our brains work and process information (ie. thats a BMW, must have cost a lot of money, therefore the person driving must have money) but it doesn't make it right or ok.
I know that sexism isn't quite racism but they stem from the same things and if you give people an inch and they will take a mile.
I don't know how many times at work I've had to tell off men because they have made a comment at one of my colleagues, little "innocent" comments such as "Who was that sweet little thing here this morning?", I "politely" (and I say that because I'm smiling through my teeth and want to hit them) remind them that they're a professional colleague of mine and it is not at all appropriate to speak about them like that. I also remind them that we control their pain relief and make sure that they actually get their food given to them hahahahahaha!
Moral of the story, Dont mess with nurses!
Only joking!
Things can start as innocent comments but they don't necessarily get taken that way and it isn't up to the person who said it to say that it's not offensive, it is up to how whomever hears it takes it. You can say something that you believe is in no way offensive but if someone takes offense all you can do is say that it wasn't meant to be taken that way.
I also agree that some people can be a little oversensitive to some things but that is only my opinion and they would likely disagree with me. That will probably make me offended. hahaha Circle of life!

[Kevin Peña]

I also remind them that we control their pain relief and make sure that they actually get their food given to them hahahahahaha!
Moral of the story, Dont mess with nurses!
Only joking!

We can't make jokes about stereotypes and laugh at their stupidity, but you can make jokes about leaving people in pain and hunger. Totally fair...  ZING!!!

I also agree that some people can be a little oversensitive to some things but that is only my opinion and they would likely disagree with me. That will probably make me offended. hahaha Circle of life!

Genius!