So i have been visiting this site off and on for a while now but have yet to work up to posting until today. I thought this would be a good place to start by introducing myself and letting you all know a little about me. First of all I believe i can call myself transgender and i say believe because it seems everyone has a different idea what transgender means. I have had a desire to be female for a long time and I'm not sure when it started or if it was always there but it seems to have only grown stronger the older i have gotten. At this point in my life i am 32 and finally starting to admit what i think i am. So recently i have started to think about transitioning and have been a little excited but also feeling discouraged at how far i have to go.
I have never considered myself an attractive male so I'm not expecting to be an attractive female either but i would at least like to pass. I know it won't be easy for me though and for a while that had me thinking i would never choose to transition. I always told myself that being an unattractive woman would almost be worse then staying a man. Lately however i just cant stop thinking about doing it so at the start of the year i finally decided i would. I have set myself some conditions i must meet first namely getting my GED, going back to school, and then moving out on my own and honestly i can't wait to start. I have also decided to start looking for a therapist where i live in Tennessee to start seeing regularly and at least get something going towards my actual transition. It does seem to be hard to find one though as my state doesn't seem to have a large demand for them but i am looking.
I am still very much in the closet when it comes to friends and family but i have met some people playing video games that are also trans and had many a discussion about it with them. Coming out to the people in my real life however i think is going to have to wait till after i have a place of my own. I like to think that they are all going to be supportive and accepting but i think i am also prepared if they aren't. I have never been a very social person anyway i much prefer being on my own and playing my games or any of my other hobbies. If the people in my real life don't except me in the end then i think I'll be OK being alone. I won't be happy because i do love my family but I'll survive and in the end i feel that this is something i want to do.
So i guess that's pretty much where i am right now working and day dreaming about what's to come in the future. I think about it almost all the time now and truly can't wait to be a girl. Thanks and if there are any trans people from Tennessee that can't help me with any local resources id' be grateful for the info.
