Hello everyone,
First off, let me begin by saying that I haven't actually come out to anyone yet; mainly because I do fear for the reaction that it's going to prompt. For much of my life I've had very few friends, in fact up until my senior year of high school I had just one close friend who I've known since kindergarten. These new friends I've made have always known the male me; the one who strives to be the alpha dog, the one who knows guns and fighting and military history.
None of them know about my passion for classical literature or my love for theatre, how I've wanted to see the Phantom of the Opera or Wicked; most of them don't even know that I'm a huge fan of Chopin and Vivaldi.
Worst of all is my family, as I'm new to the forums I wouldn't be surprised that you don't know that I'm from my Miami, Florida in the US. I come from a Hispanic household and that comes with what I can only refer to as machismo, the super inflated male egoism of Latin America. MY father is the type of man who finds all of my real interests and hobbies to be fey, he refused to let me go see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra because he claimed that classical music (even if it was spectacularly performed) is for the gays and women.
The only person I feel comfortable around these days is my mother, and I've confided in her my desire to see a psychologist though even she isn't aware that I'm seeking a gender psychologist specifically. But it was a very pleasant surprise to see her come up to my room this morning and ask me how I was doing and that she actively wants to be supportive of me. It's made my morning to know that just maybe there's someone who'll be in my corner when the time comes for me to step out and let the world see me for who I truly am and not the facade that I've held up for all these years.
Anyway, I just wanted to share that; it's a bit silly that such a small conversation has given me such a big hope for the future but I'll cling to it regardless.
- Vanessa
