What do you miss from your "former" life?

[debisl]

Not too much!! I hate taking all of the pills too, but it is well worth it to be happy. It does take a longer time to dress up now and trying to decide what to wear. "Fickle woman"
Most of the guys in the hardware stores will fall all over themselves to try to help me out. Please don't take me wrong about my coment. It is not because I am some good looking Bay Watch girl. I feel as plain as plain. All the guys see is boobs. They see boobs from across the store.
I am very happy with my life. I have been living as a girl so long now I don't even remember how it was as a boy. I was always trying to escape the boy image. Now that I have done so I am happy.

Deb

[debisl]

"Standing to pee" Let me see if I can remember!! Not really it has been 14 years or so.

The new make-ups are so easy to apply now. I use Bare Escentuals and they go on so fast.

As far as the beach goes, you have to give the guys something to imagine. If they saw it all they would not wonder what was there. You have to keep them guessing!!!

Deb

[Kate]

Pockets.

That is why there are purses, silly.

Yeah, but that's one of those things Kate has yet to "try".   I couldn't wait to get a purse.  It's so much more convenient.

LOL, nah, I carry it at times now. In broad daylight even! I'm kinda getting into the "I don't give a..." phase finally. Not to work though, as my computer bag is *already* too much to carry for me.

What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.

~Kate~

[Dennis]

What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.

~Kate~

It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.

Dennis

[rhondabythebay]

It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.

Dennis

And that is exactly what my wife fears most at times....

Rhonda

[Kate]

It will come, Kate. The right person will come along and sweep you off your feet.

And that is exactly what my wife fears most at times....

Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says, "I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."

~Kate~

[Melissa]

She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says, "I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."

Yes, this is a self fullfilling prophecy.  She knows you will leave her so she doesn't hold you or spend any intimate time with you, so eventually you will get fed up enough with that and do what she is predicting.  She doesn't realize that this is avoidable and only she can do something about it.

[rhondabythebay]

Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me. She says, "I know you will. I just know it. Even though you denied it at the time, I knew you'd start HRT one day, I knew you'd transition, and now... I know this. After SRS, you won't be able to deny it any longer. Stop trying to fool both of us and admit what you need."

~Kate~

I've heard those same words Kate, in my case, bi-sexual tendencies heighten her fear factor. She let on when I came out that she has always questioned my sexuality. Melissa is on to something too. I'm trying to make sure the intimacy continues, but she is at times not sure how to treat me because I'm just at the beginning of transistion. I'm lucky because she is bi also. I'm feeling sort of stuck between genders at times. 

Rhonda

[Melissa]

My ex is bi, but we split up anyways.  She tended to prefer being with men.  I'm bi as well and currently in a lesbian relationship.  I really cannot blame her for splitting up.  There is a HUGE amount of societal pressure to be straight.  I have my own fears in regards to being the subject of harm, discrimination, or ridicule due to being in a lesbian relationship.  In fact the lesbian fears overshadow and TS fears by leaps and bounds.  Sometimes I have trouble dealing with them.  On the other hand I do not want to hurt my girlfriend or the potential for a blossoming relationship because of my fears (her being somebody who completely accepts me for who I am) and this is a struggle I face every day.  I really can understand why so many TS relationships do not last--even if the wife is bi.

[Seshatneferw]

Mine too. We can probably work through all our other issues, but this one haunts both of us. She is *convinced* that if she sticks with me, I'll still end up leaving her for a man in a few years, and she'll have just wasted MORE time with me.

Does she genuinely fear that, or is it her way of working towards a divorce? If the latter, there obviously isn't much either of you can do, but in the former case you might be able to talk things through, especially if you can convince yourself that the risk is minimal.

One thing you might point out -- and this is something my wife said to me -- is that yes, there is a chance that you'll end up splitting even if you try to keep together. On the other hand, if you don't make the attempt, it won't be just a chance but a certainty.

  Nfr

[katia]

the times when imagination was the world we loved out on the playground.

[Elaine]

Probably the only thing I really miss, which others pointed out too, is not having people assume I don't have any technical skills/know-how whatsoever. But on the positive side those are just more chances to prove ourselves and maybe surprise/enlighten someone.

[sarahb]

Being in between right now, at this point I miss daily activites. Since I am at a point where I can no longer take off my shirt without people raising an eyebrow, and since I am not "out" yet, things that require me to expose more than i can are out of the question. The beach, boating, pools, jacuzzi, etc. are things that are common in my Southern California lifestyle and I always have to come up with an excuse why I can't go whenever one of my friends invite me.

I can't wait until I am full time so I can go back to doing the things I love. I'm not going to let my transition stop me from doing them. I've always loved sports like snowboarding, skateboarding, wakeboarding, hiking, etc. and will continue to do those things after transition.

What I ask myself at this point in my journey is, "What am I missing from my new life?" The answer to that question is the honest to myself and others about who I really am and the ability to let my true self shine. Love for and by another, for I haven't ever felt what love is. I have been unable to be with anyone in my life, male or female, due to my self-inflicted hate and disgust with myself. Therefore, I have not been able to enjoy the little things like waking up next to someone and feeling close to another person. I "miss" the ability to say, do and feel as I truly do.

[Nicole]

Probably the only thing I really miss, which others pointed out too, is not having people assume I don't have any technical skills/know-how whatsoever. But on the positive side those are just more chances to prove ourselves and maybe surprise/enlighten someone.

see thats 1 thing i don't miss.
I had NONE what so ever.
I remember once walking into a hardware store and the guy almost came to the point of kicking me out cause I knew nothing.

[Cindi Jones]

Well Nicole, now you can "legally" be a ditz and get away with it!  I love being a ditz sometimes. I'm learning to believe that the ditz routine is really a routine from many women.  My husband's sister is a pro at it.  I'm learning all kinds of good stuff from her.

She has a master's in teaching and has recently retired from teaching at a very young age.  She took a job at the local golf course where she lives selling beer and soft drinks from a cart.  She doesn't need the money from the job.  She needs the free pass to golf nearly every day at almost any tourny course in the country!

So anyway, she was out on the course with her cart last year. (Oh and did I tell you she's a really cute blonde?  Well she is.)  A group of trendy doctors stopped by and purchased drinks.  They flirted with her briefly to which she readily responded as a dumb blonde.  That is her way to "make them bleed".  One of the doc's said "you know, you don't have to do this. You could go to school and learn a trade. Then you could get a job and make something of yourself."  She told me that she stared at him intentionally blank for several seconds. She has a really hard time when men are demeaning. She then turned on her lights and opened her eyes wide and exclaimed in return  "Oh!  You are right!  I should go to school and learn how to do nails in a salon!"  The doc's walked away thinking they had just inspired a dumb blonde.  I won't tell you what my sis in-law said under her breath.

Cindi

[Rachael]

id say nothing personally, or about male life. But i do miss my parents and family

[Lisbeth]

"Standing to pee" Let me see if I can remember!! Not really it has been 14 years or so.

I never did.

one not having to "cover up" my breasts when at the beach or walking through the lounge room at home when friends are there.

I was more embarassed when there wasn't anything to cover up.

What I miss the most probably: the affection of my wife, and/or physical affection in general. To be touched. To have someone hold MY hand.

Ya.  That.  *sigh*

Yes, this is a self fullfilling prophecy.  She knows you will leave her so she doesn't hold you or spend any intimate time with you, so eventually you will get fed up enough with that and do what she is predicting.  She doesn't realize that this is avoidable and only she can do something about it.

In my case I have a real hard time feeling anything for her anymore.  After nine years of being told that she is not attracted to me, how can I feel attracted to her?