Please don't hate me but sometimes I read some responses and questions, it makes me wonder if I am like any of you at all. A lot of you had this successful male lives and it seems some really good ones. And then i read about slumber parties. I nevr had one, male or female. I wet the bed til i was 13 and the most i got was sleep different. And I have tried to have a mle life with kids, but i had to tell the truth. It's one thing lying about herpies, though u shouldn't but it happens, but if you know ur a CD at the least you should say something. Most girls will tend to paint the BFs toenails or something and then after subtly pudhig them to do more, do tell them. It just seems like when i read about TS people and hate and deception, sometimes I agree as far as the wives left behind. Imagine being married for 20 yrs and then poof I'm having a sex change. And it isn't even that: it's the I can't beleive she might leave me it's just hormones and dressing up for the mall. Isn't love more. No, it isn't. I feel so so so bad for these wives. I was engaged to be married before and my ex knew i like CD, but I told her that sometimes I want to go all the way. She didn't leave right away but she left. It killed me. I became a drunk and addict. I loved her but it was still the right thing rather then saying 20 yrs later and ruining their lives. For those in their 60s, this doesn't apply. But if you were 22 in 1992, you knew exactly what a TS was. I was 10 and I knew. And I undertand it do a point but sometimes I think the over-the-top empathy is part of our comunties problem. Imagune coming here wanting to learn more about us, and then you see a bunch of people who say yeah I can't believe my life won't turn lesbian. How mysognistic.
Yesterday, I read this blog where this girl come out of the closet and before hormones even, joins a Dyke March. Really? And then she wonders why she wasn't accepted? How about it could be some frat boys prank. Or some pervs fantasy. They can't know. Just because you say you are a girl doesn't make you one. I'm not talking about XX/XY here, I'm talking about taking long-term steps, like HRT and SRS. I bet if she did that they woulda accepted her. But on her first day! I wouldn't either. We have to reconize other's feelings. Not everyone is going to call u "he" or "amelia" in a month. It takes times.
It isn't a perfect world but a lot of the genuine non-hateful comments I read about us, is that we are whiny and self-absorbed. And ot reiterate when people come to these boards and see people actually telling and supporting others to deceive their wife, I can see the deceptive part too.I've been on TS boards i one way or other since 2000.Bu t this is the must intimate I have gotten.
Some of you are just so lucky. My mom makes fun of my eyebrows everyday and they aren't bad or uber-femme. he called me a cancer patient. Last year when I attempted to transition, this is what happend: attempted rape until they saw my 5'oclock shadow and then I got beaten, tasered, hit who knows how much with a gun, and then blinfolded as they counted down with a gun to the back of my headtelling me soon my brains would get blown out. They abviosly didn't. Plus the stuff I hear about sex workers. Yeah, some girls don't have a choice. AND don't get me started on self-meds as yeah docs are better but guess what, they are not magic. They make mistakes. Just cause your own a doctors care doesn't mean DVT only happens to DIYers. I hear this everyday: that is so dumb and stupid and this and that to self-med. Well guess what not everyone was born wealthy.
I'm not trying to down anyone. I just wish we would try to think of how wives must feel, how others feel, and must of all, how people who cant afford a doctor must feel. Sometimes other then GID it doesn't feel like some have ever felt pain. Im sure they have but it feels that way. I just think a lil attempt to be less self-absorbed (myself included might give us a more positive image). And year Im biased as I dont like being killed.
