So tired of being ma'amed...

[Disgusting]

It has been happening every time I leave the house lately, whereas it almost never happened at all a few months before.  Two things I can think of that have changed: appearance-wise, I got glasses.  Otherwise, I moved to another state (both close to the same time).  If it's the glasses somehow, there's nothing I can do about it.  I can't afford to go back to contacts right now, or to get different glasses.  If the glasses have nothing to do with it (which I sure hope they don't, because that seems silly to me and I happen to like my glasses), then I can only assume it has to do with the people in the area and what they're used to seeing.  I'm closer to a city area with a more diverse population now, so a girl with shorter hair and men's clothing is probably a lot more common. 
I know I don't have the build of a man by any means; I am short, made to be slender but currently rather chubby in places (particularly my face), have very small/delicate hands and feet, and I really just don't have any strong features about me.  But to go from at least passing as a young boy so recently (someone once asked if I was my friend's son, which I thought pretty funny since I'm older than him) to suddenly being seen as something which is unquestionably female has been... kind of a huge bummer, to put it lightly.  I probably should never have expected to be called anything but "she" to begin with, knowing how I look, but being seen as "he" without question for a while had given me some confidence that maybe it wasn't as bad as I'd thought.  Now I'm feeling like maybe it is actually much worse.  After all, I am pre-everything and don't really have any way of changing that any time soon.  I don't speak in public if I can avoid it because my voice is so soft.  Any confidence I had before moving has completely disintegrated, and of course that in itself is only bound to make matters worse.  Knowing that I have absolutely no money and no support from anyone who would actually be able to help me, I feel rather stuck in this awkward "wannabe-butch fat girl" body and even on my best days I look in the mirror and wonder if it would help things for me to just wear a bag over my head.  So I don't really know what to do.  I can't really change anything and I'm pretty much just feeling horrible all the time now. 
Not that I expect anyone else to have an answer, really; I just kind of wanted to vent or something, I guess.

[Chaos]

I understand how you feel.I am odd because i still hold (like most people do) habits from birth and being raised as that sex.Now i can first start off talking to someone on the phone and they will instantly call me Sir with no 2nd thoughts but as the convo goes on,i find how i used to speak,coming out naturally.lets say how i say the word Please,and they quickly pick up with *Sorry i mean miss* so it can be hard.Even my brother aka best friend,will keep swearing *dude you sound gay!* and im like *LOL well i did live as a woman for 30 years,come on but i am straight and you know that* (mind you he is gay as well lol so yeah).I think sometimes we just have to retrain ourselves mentally as well and our habits.Even tho i see myself differently then others do,it doesnt change my habits of living in that life for over 30 years.i dont feel its the glass's or dress or anything like this,it may just be how you handle yourself around people or habits peeking out.and thats not a bad thing.as we come out more,it helps us train and gain new habits.

[Blaine]

Maybe the people where you used to live just got used to your mannerisms and the way you carried yourself. I'm the same way: I pass as long as I don't say anything. Between my high voice, my hand gestures, and my facial expressions I have no chance. I have more facial expressions than there are cards in a deck so I need to tone that down, at least.

[Disgusting]

Mannerisms is definitely something to look at, I suppose... though I don't know of anything I normally do that is particularly feminine.  That will be a tough one for me, as far as really examining it from an outsider's perspective.  I do have an expressive face, but I don't make a lot of gestures or stand/move in a peculiar way, at least not as far as I'm aware.  I know that if/when I do speak, it's probably going to sound funny.  Aside from having a very obviously female voice, it comes out very ...whispery?  Because I'm used to speaking very softly.  Combination shyness and being a little overwhelmed by other people's loudness.   Volume range pretty much jumps from that to yelling with no comfortable spot in-between.  I had been trying to work on it before I moved, though, and should probably get back to it. 
But with all that said, I guess what confuses me is that so very little has changed.  I didn't know or speak to any of the people who called me "he" any more than the people here who call me "she".  All total strangers that I'd only seen that one time.  This is what leads me to believe it's more to do with the type of people living in this area and what I look like in comparison to them, than anything I'm actually doing.  But I don't doubt that my lack of confidence (which may have gotten worse since I've moved) will be working against me.  Not that the constant ma'ams help with confidence.  DX  It's an uphill battle for sure...

[Blaine]

Having a little more confidence in yourself and working on volume control would probably work wonders in your case, and mine too. I've always been quiet but my new professors are both partially deaf from serving in the military for years on end and constantly tell me to speak up. Between their need for everyone to scream and their neverending macho one-up-manship, they're proving to be more helpful with transitioning than my actual therapist is!

[Liminal Stranger]

Oh man, I know that feeling. It might help if you assert in your mind that you are damned well a man, and carry yourself with dignity knowing that. People will more likely see a weaker character and conclude girl from that if you are unsure of yourself. Confidence, my friend, is key as part of passing- I've worn some horrendously feminine clothing before and still passed without a problem because I acted as how I'd see a guy my age acting in daily life. Good luck.

[Disgusting]

Thank you, and yes, I will definitely have to keep these things in mind.  It's probably the hardest part for me, as I have never been a self-confident person--or a loud one, though I think the two are very much related as I do speak up more without noticing when I'm totally comfortable.  It's just so rare that I am.  At least now that I've moved I can see my best friend a little more often, once or twice a month instead of once or twice a year.  She isn't the least bit shy, so I'm hoping she can help me work on both my confidence and my volume control.