Was September too optimistic?

[Joe.]

I was planning on going full time in September when I start university. A fresh start away from home and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to start living as a guy. I got a letter from the gender clinic today (I'm really happy about that) saying that they have received the referral from my psychiatrist and now they just have to sort out funding and make sure I qualify for the service etc. After that I have to fill out some forms, then it's not until all this i done that I finally get my first appointment. It can take anywhere up to 6 months. That's after all the forms and funding has been sorted which I'm estimating will take 1-2 months. That sets my first appointment around November time. That will be after I've started uni so I will still look and sound like a girl and it will not be as I hoped. Even after the first appointment I will need to have a few before I can start hormones. It looks like I will be in my second year by the time I actually start hormones or notice any changes. Was September too optimistic? I really thought it would work. I still want to start uni as a guy, but everyone will know what I was born as. I don't know what to do.

Joey

[Misato]

Sound pretty stressed out and disappointed.  You had your heart set on September and then red tape got in the way.  Nasty stuff that.  I'm going the other way than you but as our ships pass here I think I may have an anecdote that'll help.

I can offer that, during my last semester I started going to classes as Paige after being in male form for my first three semesters of Grad School.  There were no problems, save for a few misgenderings.  Even then the undergrads who were in some of my graduate classes and who made the mistake apologized.  Once I told them I'm a girl, I found people wanted to be respectful of that.  I also beleive that the switch flipped in their minds despite knowing me as a guy before.  I met one woman who knew me primarily as Paige as my male self one time to study.  I ended up going back to my apartment to change because she knew Paige, not who was there.  It was kinda cool!

I think you'll be ok if you go as you day one, or a year in.  I also think even if you don't pass all that well physically you've a shot to be accepted as a guy.  If you have confidence, you'll have the key.  I would add, the days after I first made the cut over did garner me a lot of attention.  Which makes sense, uni is full of curious academics.  So if you go in your second year, might want to be prepared for that.

September is a long way off so you have time to think, man.  Sorry too if this post has too much story telling from my life.  I just want to give you some reason to hope. 

[Devlyn]

Joey, being a guy is about more than looking and sounding like a guy. You need the confidence to do the things you want, and not care what anyone thinks about it. If your confidence is wavering over how others may perceive you, that should be the first thing you work on.

"I still want to start uni as a guy"

Then do it. Hugs, Devlyn

[Kaori]

Please don't take this the wrong way but only you can answer the question of when you are "ready." And if you keep waiting until the perfect time comes, where you can slip into a new community flawlessly, seamlessly, (almost magically?), that day will likely not arrive for a very long time.

Of course, you can plan for this (which you are, obviously) and get some great advice and insight from others to help you be prepared. But like a quote from The Matrix: "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it."

I know this isn't easy, please don't think that is what I am saying either. I haven't returned to college since I started my transition several years ago, and I am "still" a little scared of returning to school.

What were you born as? I was born female but that's not what my birth certificate said when I was younger. Simply put, I was born transsexual instead of cissexual. My secondary sex characteristics didn't match the gender my brain told me I was. And there will always be someone to argue the "legitimacy" of my womanhood but I don't need to win their approval and don't need their validation to know who I really am, mind and body.

What would happen if you waited? If you want to start the Uni as a guy, then start it as a guy, that's a pretty good indication to me  

[AdamMLP]

I would go as male regardless of whether or not you pass, because you're not going to be able to be stealth if you come out in your second year, and you have a chance if you go in September as male.  If people only call you Joey right from the off then there will be much less confusion over what name to call you, and none of them will know your birthname encase anyone decides to try and use it to hurt you (and trust me, it's not pleasant even when you're used to hearing it all day, every day.)

[DriftingCrow]

I'd just go as male even without being able to start hormones yet. You'll only be a freshman at uni, so there's still some young guys walking around without facial hair and with higher voices, so you won't seem too out of place, if anyone asks just say you have some kind of a hormone imbalance. Then if you can start T in Nov, Dec, whenever you'll be able to present as male a lot easier.

[Misato]

...if anyone asks just say you have some kind of a hormone imbalance. Then if you can start T in Nov, Dec, whenever you'll be able to present as male a lot easier.

I think that's a great idea!