She's absolutely right. I think so much of passing (tucking especially) stops being about people wanting to be themselves properly and becomes about everyone else. It reeks of anti-trans*ism like she says the expectation to pass reinforces binary gendered bodies, women have to have vulva's and men are bepenised. If you fail to fit that stereotype you are somehow not a woman, man, or whatever you are; then where this gets really harmful is when this sentiment is internalized by trans* people and the community at large. I've heard plenty of stories of trans* women pass-shaming other trans* women because their posture isn't soft enough, their makeup isn't perfect, or their hair isn't long and pretty enough.
Being trans* already has a whole bucket of body and beauty issues to deal with. I have plenty of problems looking in a mirror without having to imagine what "others" are going to say about me and all those phantom people just serve to make me hate myself and not want to go out side wearing some pretty thing I like because I'm afraid of how I will be perceived.
I still tuck from time to time and I shave all four limbs and my chest, but I don't do it so people will look at me and see a feminine body (that's just a nice bonus) i do it because it makes me feel better about myself, so that when I look in that mirror I see a body that I can love.
And in regards to tucking the best reason I have ever found to do it is to fit in my clothes comfortably.
