Hello, I am the wife of a CD who passed away on Feb. 2nd of this year. I have ALWAYS loved my husband and accepted him right after I learned that he was a CD. However, my husband was too secretive in his Cding to confide in me! I told him from the beginning, that he could be whatever he wanted to be and it would never sway me in any way. We would have been married 28 years this May and together 31 years. My husband & I both knew at an early age we didn't want any children; thus our four legged friends which gave us both comfort. My husband was a professional man and retired at 53 and we moved to another state; where he designed a brand new home for us. He was very artistic and had a very pronounced feminine side. I discovered by accident that he had a hole in his heart; something he never discussed with me; as I referred to above, he was a very secretive man. He knew he was having blackouts when we lived in the other state but he never went to the doctor so he didn't know what they were! It was "I" who prompted him to finally go to the doctor and discuss the blackouts (as he called them). I feel that he is stuck between two worlds as he shouldn't have died the way he did. He would have been 64 on Feb. 3rd! The only regret I have is that he pulled away from me both sexually & emotionally five years after we were married; though I NEVER cheated on him; he was my life and he took very good care of me as I have a lot of medical issues. When I was able to obtain his medical records, I learned that he was taking Viagra; and that didn't bother me either though what I am trying to figure out is--did he use the Viagra just to fulfill his wishes or does anyone think he might have been seeing other men and/or women. He would always allow me to go anywhere I wanted to go but he would demand that I tell him exactly when I would be back. I find this to be strange, but again, not upsetting to me. However, I learned from our doctor that my husband was thought to be gay but he would never go for the Aids Test and now my doctor wants to do one on me. I am upset but not alarmed. Thanks to anyone who could provide me with some insight into him. I want him to finally rest in the arms of his maker without worry that I am beside myself.
