I am polyamorous and the one male partner I have currently, I have been together with for 10 years now.
After moving to Seattle I started dating another guy who I met while playing World of Warcraft (an MMORPG). He lives in Canada and use to travel down on the weekends to spend time together.
It took a few months for me to agree to meeting him in person. And I was cautious through it all, but communicated thoroughly and often with him. It went well, he and I dated for about a year before breaking up due to incompatibilities and basically just getting tired of each other. Haha.
There are so many ways to find a guy that it is hard to recommend one for you without knowing more more details. But I can give you some general advice.
Get out of your house, dorm, or residence and do things that you like do - things that make you happy, things that you are interested in. Find people to do these things with, whether it's with family, friends you already know, or you have to go out and find another person or group who's doing the same. The point is, to show other people the wonderful, happy, interesting, caring, and approachable person that you are. When people see you putting yourself out there, getting along with others, doing the activities that you like to do -- you'll have a better chance to attract the kind of person that you will be interested in. At the least you'll have one or more things in common, so it's a lot easier to "break the ice" this way than it is to walk up to a complete stranger you've never seen and attempt to establish some sort of connection.
If you make a friend or two at first, instead of finding a "partner," even better! They might know a guy (or two) that has potential for you. And if they don't, that's fine. Ask your new found friend(s) to a movie, a club, a church, a political event, or whatever you might all be interested in. You'll end up making new friends sooner or later, depending on your social skills, your local and the activities you engage in.
People generally surround themselves with the type of people they want to be with. If you find yourself in a huge rush to find a date and you're nervous, lacking confidence, and being of a one track mind -- others will pick up on this. And definitely do not try to imitate someone else. Be the wonderful, unique you!
If you're looking for a Mr Right, just be honest, be yourself, and show the world around you who you are (I know, that's often easier said than done). You need to put yourself "out there" in order to be "found."
On the flip side of that coin, if you're looking for Mr "Right Now" instead of Mr Right, there's all kinds of internet sites to help out with that. At any rate, you don't want to be the girl who is desperate and drawing too much attention to herself. Just be open, honest and forward enough to ask for what and/or who you're looking for AND what you're not (if one of you is wasting their time, then time is being wasted for you both).
Gosh, there's way too much I can say. There's a reason why people write books about this, haha!
Here's another method: picture the guy you want to start dating as clearly as you can. Not so much how he looks but what is he doing (where does he spend his free time and social time at)? Outside, inside, at a sporting event, club or restaurant? Does he drink or party? What are his interests and likes? Does he go to college? Work? Afford transportation? Does he like pets? Does he play video games or think they are a waste of time? Does he cook?
Now, name a couple places where you might have good luck trying to find this guy. "That place(s)" is definitely one place you want to frequent, or look for a potential partner.
Are you "out" as trans? Are you stealth? Do you plan on telling this guy that you are trans* on the first date, on the third or not at all? Is sex off limits? And if not, what are your boundaries/limits? Are you ready to discuss them? Are you going to meet them in a public place for your first "date?"
Sorry if I am being too random here,XchristineX, I am just trying think offhand what I can mention real quick that might help you early in the process of finding your guy. I have been away from these forums for a couple years and decided it's time to come back to look for (and offer) some much needed support and friendship. I have always loved this diverse and most often helpful community.
If you have more specific questions, feel free to ask! I'm sure there are more than a handful of people here that can offer some great dating advice if you care (or dare!) to get into any specifics.
I wish you the best of luck in your search!
