Not sure still if Im trasngender or bigender or between

[Larisa]

If you looked at me, I look like a boy except for me hair which is getting longer and I have very skinny arms. Other than that no one would ever think of anything girly about me. I haven't figured out yet if Im transgender or bigender or between. I know that things people can't see Ive done with my body. I paint my toenails, have shaved my chest and legs before and all. I wrote about more of this in my introduction post. I go 2 days not feeling like a girl and than bam next day, I am total girly girl inside. I haven't figured it out yet. Im even afraid to talk to a therapist about this. I came here for the reason of that I wouldn't be judged about what I am. I don't wear makeup although I know how to do it and all. I know makeup, fashion, how to do nails, hair stuff and so on. I watched this transgender video on a girl named Jazz at 11 who was on Barbra Walters and can relate so well to it. Sometimes, I want to just be able to be a girl with boobs and all just even for a few days and other times, I couldn't leave my male side behind. I even have a girl name I gave myself named Larisa. My everyday name is Matthew. Just this and all in my introduction post and so on is why Im so confused. Im def not gay, Im straight as anyone who knows will backup me up on that. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

[Blaine]

Congrats on starting to come to terms with who you really are!

Even though it may not seem like something you'd like to do, I think you should find a gender therapist to talk to about this. They could make you think about aspects of your life and how you think about yourself in ways you haven't before. Even though I've only had one session with my therapist, she gave me something very deep and personal to consider that I hadn't noticed before. If you can find a good therapist who truly knows what they're doing, talking to them will be worth much more than the time, money, and stress.

[Larisa]

Ya that's been a problem for me. It's so hard for me to see someone about this even though it would be private from anyone else.