Question

[brit91]

If you came out to your parents as transgender and they had known for almost a year.. and went and got your birth gender name tattooed on them because u'd always be their "little girl or boy"(whichever you were born) would it offend you or would you be ok with it?

[Sweet_Steffy_Bee]

If they did it after the fact just to spite me or because they didn't want to face the truth, I would be hurt and disappointed.

[Devlyn]

Hi Brit, welcome to Susan's Place! I'd say they're having troubles with the acceptance part. That's normal. It sounds like it's bothering you, though. What's on your mind? Hugs, Devlyn

[brit91]

I am a Cis female but in a relationship with a Ftm.. and my partner has been out for along time now..but the parents keep saying "God will change/fix you" and tonight my partners dad decided to go get the "female" name tattooed on him.. it is frustrating because I feel like they are being disrespectful and its always something with them trying to "fix or change or poke" the list goes on lol but yea I was just curious and looking for some insight as to if other transgender people would be offended under the circumstances.

[JLT1]

My first reaction would be hurt and anger and resentment and more hurt all rolled into a big emotional mess.  My second reaction would be that they want to remember me as their young child, their baby, the object of love and affection.  Then I'd swing back to the emotional mess.  Lastly, I'd ask them "What's up with the new ink?" and  we'd go forward, somehow.

Both my parents figured this out before I did.  My Mom didn't talk very much with me for a few years.  My father went 15 years refusing to talk with me.  We talked for the first time just a few days before he died.  I wish I would have had the courage then to talk with them when they cut me off and I didn't know why.  Today, same situation, I could talk with them.  Not knowing and hurting isn't good.

[Devlyn]

Some will, some won't. Some will laugh at how foolish that will look down the road, and the awkward moments it will cause. Denial, anger, guilt, bargaining,  there will be many phases they go through before reaching acceptance.  Know that it probably isn't done to hurt. Hugs, Devlyn

[spacial]

Really sorry for your boyfriend. That is definitely, seriously weird.

[Shantel]

The parents are acting out that they are unable to release their child to live his life as his own person. It's extremely emotionally manipulative behavior on their part and they need some serious mental health counseling. Parents always try to bring up their kids to be the persons they want them to be, but by the time their kid is in their mid teens the parents need to concede that their child is a separate and distinct person and then get their foot off the back of the kid's neck and let them be who they are. To continue on as these people are is really quite sick.

[StellaB]

It wouldn't bother me to be honest. I'm beyond the stage of getting upset over how people perceive me, especially if they're not accepting or supportive.

[Gene]

If you came out to your parents as transgender and they had known for almost a year.. and went and got your birth gender name tattooed on them because u'd always be their "little girl or boy"(whichever you were born) would it offend you or would you be ok with it?

It might be important to let them know you're still the same person that you always were and you aren't taking anything away from them.

With my mom, she seems to think I'm trying to change the memory of her birthing and raising a girl. I'm the kind of trans* person who doesn't try to act like the past didn't happen. I try to remind her that those things won't change, I'm just changing my present. She'll eventually reconcile my past self with my present, and perhaps yours will do the same and get your preferred name tattooed on them too.

They're just in the mourning period it sounds like. It's common.

[brit91]

Thank you to all of you for all of the feedback I really appreciate it. Even though I am a cis female I think that transgender people are very special and I have a lot of respect for y'all and all of the strength you guys have to be able to be yourselves. If any of y'all ever want a new friend or just someone to talk to y'all can msg me.
thank-you again 

[Ltl89]

I'm sorry to hear your boyfriend is in this situation.  I personally would feel very hurt, but at the same time I'd understand how they feel.  Parents get attached to their child and seeing them change their gender can feel like a loss.  I have heard some families threw funerals for people who have transitioned because it felt like they lost a family member.  I try to understand where they are coming from, but it is difficult when their actions are incredibly hurtful and thoughtless.  I mean, they are the same person they always were.  Just they now get to express themselves as they always wanted to.  It's sad some people can't accept that.

[Kade1985]

I think my first reaction would be wtf seriously? Then I'd probably get mad and yelling would occur. I'd find it disrespectful. I'd probably have a field day over it to be quite honest. Going through stages of acceptance is one thing... going around your back and tattooing your birth name and disregarding how you're feeling is something else entirely. I think that would be my point of saying, "When you grow up, call me."

Perhaps that's just me. I don't take offense to many things but that would probably get to me pretty bad, and I won't even begin trying to deny it.

[Evy]

Yeah like others, i would be deeply offended by it, and i would ask them to remove or over tattoo it.
I would cry...