Respecting Full Time Alternatives

[Trans Truth]

I have been living as a full time trans woman for many years now. But I have always been keen to promote the idea that, for some people part time is suitable and is an honorable choice. However, some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. Maybe they feel insecure, that their own need for full time can be negated by another who chooses part time? I think everyone is different, and supporting others cannot negate your own existence.

What do you people think?

[Tristan]

I agree with you. I'm all for people doing what makes them happy. If that's what really makes them happy I say why not

[~RoadToTrista~]

I imagine their thoughts are probably along the lines of "these people treat it like a costume" or whatever.

I do not care what other trans people do.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I have come across a good number of Trans people who wont accept others who are different & act in a way i did not think they would well an eye opener so iv backed away from many trans people because of that,

Some years ago  i thought i may be able to help others ,well not so. does not mean i was not able to there have been a few that have accepted my help.  just there seems to be a hard core who think they are better than any one else . look out if you are different, as i am,

  is it jelosusy or i have what they wont so dont accept you any way,  or i  look different dont pass or blend in as they think you should or things have gone so well for you they cant handle you as a person,

What ever thier reason i'v been on thier backlash & they dont wont myself around them , so i.v backed off & i cant be bothered being around them any more,

My difference im intersexed, involved with women only groups plus many others with in a membership of over 1000 people & world wide, well known for who i am & a very public person. I'v worked very  hard to get where i am now & if those who dont wont to be around me then ill just say i have ..MY.... real friends ......& family,

This fulltime liveing as a woman , i see this in a different way, im female & iv grown into a woman i did not change from male to female or female to male its not posible, because of how im born so maybe that has a bearing , it still comes down to non acceptance  pity though they may learn something of value,

And  i sure make friends  very easyerly where ever i go. So those trans who cant get on with others who are different then why do i have so many neat lovely friends  yet have only very few trans friends,  i think its very strange, well thats how it is for me & thats over 18 years, & i had quite a bit to do with the trans community,

...noeleena...

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I think two axioms best sum up how I feel about this.

To each their own

And it harm none, do what thy wilt

[Alainaluvsu]

Whatever makes you happy. Why should I care unless you're complaining about it and asking me for advice?

[A]

Well, not going full time can be (and I'm not saying "always is") a sign of insecurity, of a lack of readiness to take on the change in gender roles. In such a case it calls for further investigation to make sure the person isn't just overdoing their crossdressing and about to make a huge mistake, for example.

Personally I have trouble understanding the wish not to be full-time, but then again, I have not been in the situations that push people to do it. It's really hard to be giving opinions on things you don't understand well.

[Tristan]

Well, not going full time can be (and I'm not saying "always is") a sign of insecurity, of a lack of readiness to take on the change in gender roles. In such a case it calls for further investigation to make sure the person isn't just overdoing their crossdressing and about to make a huge mistake, for example.

Personally I have trouble understanding the wish not to be full-time, but then again, I have not been in the situations that push people to do it. It's really hard to be giving opinions on things you don't understand well.

this is very true. its why i dont ever go to trans meetings anymore because questions like this would come up and cause arguments. i know this one and the debate about those not wanting srs but still all the same rights (ex if they go to jail) come up often. and being im awful at arguing points i tend to avoid these kinds of situations as i have herd many others say this is why they avoid them too. mainly like you said its hard to talk about something you dont understand and i will be the 2nd to say im totally clueless and dont understand it.

[peky]

some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. ?

Really? you have any evidence on this or any other forum, can you produce a thread? posting?

[FullThrottleMalehem]

If you don't mind one of the boys chiming in. I feel whatever makes these people happy as long as they aren't looking down on or bashing others for their decisions regarding the issue. I don't buy into the "trans enough" attitude. As a trans man who may never get lower surgery due to the cost and lack of medical advancement in the area, I feel I have no right to judge how others are trans, even if that means being part time. Sometimes it just isn't safe to be full time or to be out to literally everyone, especially if one is not passing.

[JoanneB]

I've never heard any of the full-timers in my group say anything against part-time, which is essentially what I and few others were/are. In fact, just the opposite in a way. Their philosophy and encouragement has always been towards, "Do what works FOR YOU" and don't let others and especially yourself pressure you into something else".

About the only controversy I've ever heard from full-timers is the age old question of Stealth or Public? Again, in my group, there is no preaching.

[peky]

I've never heard any of the full-timers in my group say anything against part-time, which is essentially what I and few others were/are. In fact, just the opposite in a way. Their philosophy and encouragement has always been towards, "Do what works FOR YOU" and don't let others and especially yourself pressure you into something else".

yeah, this^^^ also applies to the allegations that there are "people who think they are "holier-than-thou" because they have had SRS, and they are the "true TS""

Then the whole forum gets all work out out of nothing...it is like emotional diarrhea over hallucinations

[Devlyn]

it is like emotional diarrhea over hallucinations

That.......is an epic statement!

[Tristan]

Yeah if your not all that passable I can really understand the part time angle. I mean you have to survive and I don't think anything is wrong with being part time even more so if your trying to keep your job.

[Isabelle]

Hmmm. I think you're either a transsexual person or you're not. Lots of people are transgender though and that's just dandy. "Part-time" weekends, fetishists, cross dressers, drag queens etc. good for them.

[Trans Truth]

i know this one and the debate about those not wanting srs but still all the same rights (ex if they go to jail) come up often. and being im awful at arguing points i tend to avoid these kinds of situations as i have herd many others say this is why they avoid them too.

I never avoid this one. Everyone should have equal rights, not to mention that SRS based rights are totally against the idea of social justice because most TS cannot afford SRS. In fact, if the debate were to come to increased rights for the post-SRS or no increase in rights at all, I would always back the latter.

[Trans Truth]

Hmmm. I think you're either a transsexual person or you're not. Lots of people are transgender though and that's just dandy. "Part-time" weekends, fetishists, cross dressers, drag queens etc. good for them.

It's really not that simple, from my 13 years of observations in the trans community. There's a lot of people trapped by life situations, and it's morally wrong not to acknowledge this point. There's really no clear demarcation between TS and the 'other TG types' one can make, and those who insist that the TS group can be separated out often only say so because they are insecure and use it as a 'more trans than thou' substitute, from my experience.

[Isabelle]

Transsexual=medical term. Transgender=cultural term.

[Isabelle]

Also, maybe it's just a phrase you're using but, why are you "keen to promote"  other people half transitioning? I don't even know what you mean by "part-time"? Can someone be a part time diabetic? Are some people more trans than others? Absolutely. Transsexuals are more transsexual, transgender people are more transgender, crossdressers are more crossdresserish, drag queens are more drag queenie. That's why people came up with and self identify with these terms.

[Jamie D]

I have been living as a full time trans woman for many years now. But I have always been keen to promote the idea that, for some people part time is suitable and is an honorable choice. However, some fellow full time trans women seem to not feel the same way. Maybe they feel insecure, that their own need for full time can be negated by another who chooses part time? I think everyone is different, and supporting others cannot negate your own existence.

What do you people think?

It is important to remember that everybody's circumstances are different, and that may necessitate a presentation other than full-time.  We need to keep in mind one of the most basic rules we have here:

Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others is not allowed.

This is to help ensure that all who fall under the transgender umbrella are welcome.