P.E. in High School

[doopabloop]

Hello, wondering if anyone could help me with swimming in P.E. in high school? I pass as a guy most, if not all, of the time and my teachers and peers know me only as a guy. Swimming might be a problem, as I am not exactly willing to impart my trans status...I don't want to be too suspicious by skipping out without an illness or phobia or anything, but I also do not want to have to go through with it. I talked to the school nurse, and she suggested getting a doctor's note for it - problem is, my mom isn't supportive and I don't want her to find out that I'm skipping out of swimming because of this sort of thing..any help? Thanks in advance.

[wheat thins are delicious]

I'm a little confused.  How do your teachers and peers know you only as a guy when your mom is not supportive of you? 

[Jamie D]

Hello, wondering if anyone could help me with swimming in P.E. in high school? I pass as a guy most, if not all, of the time and my teachers and peers know me only as a guy. Swimming might be a problem, as I am not exactly willing to impart my trans status...I don't want to be too suspicious by skipping out without an illness or phobia or anything, but I also do not want to have to go through with it. I talked to the school nurse, and she suggested getting a doctor's note for it - problem is, my mom isn't supportive and I don't want her to find out that I'm skipping out of swimming because of this sort of thing..any help? Thanks in advance.

Are you still seeing a therapist?  A letter from them should be confidential, stating body dysphoria issues, and should get you excused from PE.

[Blaine]

I agree with Jamie D about getting a therapist's note. How long will your class be doing the swimming unit? That may determine how long your excuse will be valid if you don't have a letter from a therapist or from a doctor who knows about your dysphoria.

[DriftingCrow]

They make trans swimsuits, they're supposed to help hide your chest. They kind of look like those suits surfers wear.... I've never used one so I am not sure how well they work or how much they cost. 

[AdamMLP]

Are there any alternatives? At my school we could choose between swimming or tennis, and people who couldn't do some sports due to head injuries got to swap into swimming. If it's just a 6 week or so session of swimming make something up that happened during the holidays, appendicitis maybe? And tell that to your friends while asking the school nurse to excuse you due to being trans.

[FullThrottleMalehem]

I second a doctor's note, and if you can get one one of those compression swim suits to hide curves and chest.

One of my parents growing up was abusive and the other was religious and didn't know about trans issues and I felt as a boy but could never tell them that. So what I did was tried to wear baggy clothes for gym class, though my parents were in charge of what I wore, one being a complete control freak.

[Contravene]

If you're seeing a doctor or therapist and request that they write an excuse for you, you should also request for them to keep the details of the excuse private and confidential from your parents. Usually they'll be obligated to grant that request due to client confidentiality.

As for telling your classmates why you can't swim, there aren't many options other than saying it's because of some illness or disability if you don't want to reveal the real reason. If you want to go with a short term excuse, you may be able to tell them that you had a minor back injury that's temporarily preventing you from swimming. I've had minor injuries to the muscles in my back before and was told not to swim for a while to prevent making it worse. If you want to go with something long term, you could say that you're allergic to a certain chemical they use in the pool water.

[Liminal Stranger]

If you're seeing a doctor or therapist and request that they write an excuse for you, you should also request for them to keep the details of the excuse private and confidential from your parents. Usually they'll be obligated to grant that request due to client confidentiality.

As for telling your classmates why you can't swim, there aren't many options other than saying it's because of some illness or disability if you don't want to reveal the real reason. If you want to go with a short term excuse, you may be able to tell them that you had a minor back injury that's temporarily preventing you from swimming. I've had minor injuries to the muscles in my back before and was told not to swim for a while to prevent making it worse. If you want to go with something long term, you could say that you're allergic to a certain chemical they use in the pool water.

Yep, after a car accident I had a bad back injury that left me in a brace and out of gym for the whole year. You could always go with something simple like a sensitivity to chlorine that would keep you from swimming in a pool without raising too much suspicion.

[doopabloop]

Sorry for the late reply..

I'm a little confused.  How do your teachers and peers know you only as a guy when your mom is not supportive of you?

I came out to my counselor when I registered and she took care of most things (our school system allows kids to put in a "nickname" instead of a legal name for most rosters since we get a lot of foreign kids with hard to pronounce names) before the year started.
My mom knows, but doesn't do anything - and I'm being sent to therapy to "fix" me, so she doesn't really want to get her hands dirty with it.

Are you still seeing a therapist?  A letter from them should be confidential, stating body dysphoria issues, and should get you excused from PE.

Yes..would a social worker be alright, as well, even if it's not a personal one? I go to a Youth Services clinic, and I have a social worker/therapist there but it's not a gender therapist.

I agree with Jamie D about getting a therapist's note. How long will your class be doing the swimming unit? That may determine how long your excuse will be valid if you don't have a letter from a therapist or from a doctor who knows about your dysphoria.

I'll see what I can do then..I honestly have no clue though, as this class is for next year and the length of the unit isn't in any of the booklets or guides I've seen thus far.

They make trans swimsuits, they're supposed to help hide your chest. They kind of look like those suits surfers wear.... I've never used one so I am not sure how well they work or how much they cost.

I've seen them and I'd be fine with them but I don't want to be the only guy in class with a swimsuit like that, to be honest. On top of that I can't use the locker rooms (I change in a separate room the nurse let me use) and it'd be pretty hard to get to class from a different room in a swimsuit..

Are there any alternatives? At my school we could choose between swimming or tennis, and people who couldn't do some sports due to head injuries got to swap into swimming. If it's just a 6 week or so session of swimming make something up that happened during the holidays, appendicitis maybe? And tell that to your friends while asking the school nurse to excuse you due to being trans.

Not for this course. I have talked to her and she said get a doctor's note, but my family hasn't got one, so I'm assuming a therapist would do the trick?

I second a doctor's note, and if you can get one one of those compression swim suits to hide curves and chest.

One of my parents growing up was abusive and the other was religious and didn't know about trans issues and I felt as a boy but could never tell them that. So what I did was tried to wear baggy clothes for gym class, though my parents were in charge of what I wore, one being a complete control freak.

I'll try both in case, though I'll go for the doctor's note first as the suits seem a bit pricey.

I haven't got two parents (dad left when I was a kid) but my mom's pretty bad about it too - though not to such an extent. I'm sorry for you, that sounds hard.

If you're seeing a doctor or therapist and request that they write an excuse for you, you should also request for them to keep the details of the excuse private and confidential from your parents. Usually they'll be obligated to grant that request due to client confidentiality.

As for telling your classmates why you can't swim, there aren't many options other than saying it's because of some illness or disability if you don't want to reveal the real reason. If you want to go with a short term excuse, you may be able to tell them that you had a minor back injury that's temporarily preventing you from swimming. I've had minor injuries to the muscles in my back before and was told not to swim for a while to prevent making it worse. If you want to go with something long term, you could say that you're allergic to a certain chemical they use in the pool water.

I'll do that next session. And I assumed they'd have to tell my mom, so it's pretty good they won't, hopefully.

That's a pretty good reason, though, I think I'll use that. Thanks!

Yep, after a car accident I had a bad back injury that left me in a brace and out of gym for the whole year. You could always go with something simple like a sensitivity to chlorine that would keep you from swimming in a pool without raising too much suspicion.

Sounds good to me, I'll ask my therapist next session about what to do. Thank you guys!