Heya Peeps,
Wow, it's been a really busy weekend and I don't seem to have had 5 minutes to myself !! I am feeling all chuffed at the moment as I haven't cried once this week nor have I had a panic attack either, although I was close to having one on Saturday evening but managed to deal with it. I am hoping to be back in work the week after next and must admit I am actually looking forward to it, lol, I must be mad !!
So, I was due to pick my friends kids up from school on Friday and decided to pop in to see one of my other friends before doing so. We spent the day talking and just catching up on what's been happening during the week since we went for dinner on Monday. I often go to school with this friend when she picks her kids up so a lot of her friends know me to say hello to. As I have also been picking our other friends kids from school there have been quite a few times recently when I have had time before picking the kids up to speak to some of the mums who are friends with my friends, so I have started to get to know them a little better.
During one of our conversations on Friday my friend mentioned that one of the other mums she is friends with from school and with whom I have talked with a few times recently had been asking questions about me over the last few weeks. She told my friend that there was something about me that she couldn't put her finger on and was sort of asking what it was. My friend didn't say anything about me at all and just said she didn't know and left it at that but her friend continued to bring the subject up. So after a while my friend sat her down and said that she wanted to tell her something about me, that it wasn't to be repeated or talked about and that if she was going to have a problem with what she was about to be told or with me afterwards then it would mean that they could no longer be friends with each other !!
My friend explained that I was transsexual and talked about what I was going through and the reasons why. They also talked about the reasons I have been crying and feeling down so much lately and that they feel a lot of it has to do with HRT. After my friend had finished explaining things her friend was absolutely fine with everything she had heard, we never quite got to the bottom of what this "feeling" was she had about me but it seems she hadn't realised I was actually transitioning.
I really can't believe how fortunate I am to have a friend as loyal and as caring as this friend has shown herself to be. Even though she has had to explain my situation to her family and some of her other friends before I am still really pleased with how she explained things to her friend. It's also made me stop and think a little more about what its like for my friends to be my friend, what their perceptions of me are like and how I fit in to their lives. I don't know if this is going to make sense but in a lot of ways it feels as though I am not the only person who is transitioning, having to learn new things and adapt to how life is changing. My friends have also had to transition with me in order to understand who I am, accept me and to find a place for me in their lives. As I say, I don't know if this makes sense but it's just something that has been floating around in my head !!
Becky
xx
