Making friends, finding love and working as transgender.

[ConfusedGirlRuby]

I know that at some point in the next year i'm going to properly start my transition.

As a brief intro i'm pretty small framed and pass relatively well when I make up and dress, rarely get read unless I don't make the effort to look presentable.

My one worry, is that as next year i'm going to university, people will definitely know that i'm transgender because people on my course will physically see me start to transition from male to female, or they might read me (if I go full time which is quite likely) if i'm sharing a house / halls of residence with them 24/7, as they might get suspicious as to why a girl is shaving her face etc etc.

My big hope was to take a gap year and transition mainly in that year period before I went to university, but my parents just aren't on board (but that's another story), meaning i'll only be able to transition once I move out.

So I guess my question is, does anyone have any experience they'd like to share of being transgender in higher education, or at least in high school or the workplace that they'd like to share?

I'm pretty outgoing, and I'd like to think i'm a nice person, but I worry that if i'm openly transgender, that people might read me and dislike me or be transphobic. Which is why I was hoping to transition and then go mostly stealth, as in an ideal world the only people i'd be open to would be any boyfriend I had and my parents if they were tolerant. But i'm worried I won't find a boyfriend because they won't like me because i'm not a 'real girl'.

Also i'm hoping to do Law at university and eventually find employment at a law firm, i'm really clueless as to what happens with medical records, would my employers be able to somehow find out that i'm transgender? Or wouldn't my medical records be noticed or whatever? Sorry i'm so clueless.

[ZoeM]

It may not be a perfect plan, but I'd suggest you don't worry about it. Most people (going by personal experience) are fine with whatever, and even those who disagree are unlikely to be actually "transphobic", let alone abusive about it. I wouldn't want to hide myself from hundreds of potential friends or good experiences just to keep from running into one jerk.


Medical records are private. Always. Take it from someone who knows.

[ConfusedGirlRuby]

It may not be a perfect plan, but I'd suggest you don't worry about it. Most people (going by personal experience) are fine with whatever, and even those who disagree are unlikely to be actually "transphobic", let alone abusive about it. I wouldn't want to hide myself from hundreds of potential friends or good experiences just to keep from running into one jerk.


Medical records are private. Always. Take it from someone who knows.

Thanks  thats really good advice. I was just worried because I was hoping to avoid transitioning at university...

It's good to know about the medical records thing though

Btw I love your hair how long did it take you to grow it?

[ZoeM]

I started last April. It's grown a bit since that photo (two months and change ago) and it's almost long enough for my tastes.

Still considering bangs. Anything to hide my forehead/hairline. :/

[Lesley_Roberta]

I think you have just as much chance of truly hating the experience as you do truly loving the experience.

Life is like that.

You might find your classmates and people around you at university are all for it. They might be the solid rock you need to help you reach your dream. It's just as possible eh.

Ways to achieve this could be as simple as being there for them too. University is a challenge regardless of who and or what you are. Find people that will benefit from you supporting them, and logically they should be there for you as well. People that can't see the logic in that are likely too stupid to succeed in their own studies eh.

It's good that you are outgoing, just continue being yourself, the real you and the trip should be ok.

"But i'm worried I won't find a boyfriend because they won't like me because i'm not a 'real girl'."

Keep in mind, you might not be the only 'outside the ordinary' person there, and you might find all manner of great interesting people waiting for you eh. Relationships come with no assurances, and that includes boring vanilla hetero relationships. If I had a dollar for every relationship I've witnessed go right flat on it's face for two boring normals, I'd have the money I need for a new wig

Go into your uni and transition with your eyes wide open and enjoy both freely. Invite any to come along on your journey, and any that don't wish to join you, leave them behind.

[ConfusedGirlRuby]

I started last April. It's grown a bit since that photo (two months and change ago) and it's almost long enough for my tastes.

Still considering bangs. Anything to hide my forehead/hairline. :/

I can sympathise on the hairline front. Mine is... iffy at the moment, it's ok but its receeded a teeny bit at the temples so it looks slightly odd if I go for a side parting. I started taking Saw Palmetto when I noticed it shedding a lot, and i've been on that about 2 months, it's pretty much stopped shedding now and I think the recession has stopped but i'm not sure...

Do you know if HRT regrows hair at all? I've heard some examples of girls who've had regrowth but just as many who've said nothing happened 

[spacial]

From what I've seen and heard here, university seems to be the best of all places to transition.

I should think there will probably be a club for you there. There seems to be a club for most things at universities.

[Blaine]

There was a club for trans and genderqueer people at my old university. The people there were all pretty indifferent about how other people dressed and lived their lives, too. It seems like a liberal mini-society where as long as you turn your music down by 9 the night before finals you can live in relative peace.