Hiya all. Particularly those who are still around from the last time i posted (too long!!!)
I apologize for my absence, it reflects no lack of affection. Rather, with work cutting into my formerly abundant free time, i found that between the time-sucking black hole of Facebook, and various other sites of interest (shout out to
io9.com!) that a couple of the places I'd like to be more regular got neglected. The balance gets tricky sometimes.
So, what's been happening?
Transferred at Walmart to a job with enough hours to actually pay my bills. Still far too poorly paid and uninsured to do a lot of the things I need to do, but it's better. The trade off is I transferred from a job I actually liked (but was only 15-16 hours a week) to one that I mostly hate (but has 32 or more hours every week). It's too much physical labor for my tastes, and the AM directly over me is one of those folks who revels in being mean just for the joy of it (when exercising her authority, she's reasonable enough otherwise)
On the other hand, being trans at Walmart has been no problem at all so far, and in fact when my local store manager (not the one I work at) gently challenged my use of the ladies room I contacted some folks upstairs and got a firm commitment from the regional HR director that Walmart corporate policy unequivocally supported my right to use the ladies room, on the clock or off. I felt really good about pinning that down and being able to share it with others who might be getting some grief.
... I haven't gotten far enough ahead yet to be able to seriously consider the expense of traveling to an accepting doctor, or getting the proper blood work...but it's progress and, frankly, I've waited FAR too long for this.
So I'm about seven weeks in, and have experienced some breast tenderness (and maybe a tiny tiny bit of progress in size/shape) but otherwise, pretty much nothing. That's mostly to be expected this early but I had hoped to see some effect on emotions and such but so far, nada. Interestingly, I dropped 12-14 pounds in the first six weeks which I did not see coming at all. It might be unrelated but I wasn't making an active effort lose and it seems too soon to be losing muscle weight so...?
On the home front, much remains the same. Counseling continues, we've gotten her some anti-depressant which allows her to control the rages (but also tends to produce a flat affect she's not happy with) but there's not any real movement on acceptance.
The interesting thing is that the theoretical possibility - which she insists is still on the table - of us splitting up doesn't seem to be an ACTUAL possibility in her mind, as all her references to the future and making plans and so forth are predicated on being together. There was a time when she said HRT was a non-negotiable "last straw" and yet she knows what I'm doing and doesn't combat it. It's hard for me to believe she's going to make me leave any time soon, as her emotional dependency is still off-the-chart. It still remains to be seen whether she can dial back the hostility to the point that I can stay long-term.
I'm probably leaving out some news but...eh...not sure how many folks even want to hear this much lol.
Good to be back, let's see if I can do better this time.
