Round two (had this all typed out yesterday and like often hit tab and somehow the post was gone grrr &*#@ tab key).
So one day I realized I was a woman, just a woman, there was no man in my head, I couldn't blame some of my behaviour on him conveniently, nope it was all me in here.
It was a singular day, but, it was just that, a single day.
Hey I still have male pattern hair loss and male sex organs, I still look over all male.
And so what. Fat women are still stuck with their own personal hells too eh.
We all have something that annoys us.
I could have just as easily been born like a friend of mine, that needed breast reduction surgery because she was just too damned big.
No females get out of being hassled.
So the point being is, I am not in transition, it happened, it is old news, it is over, I transitioned.
I was always a female. I got over this revelation, I adjusted, I took a day to do it. The next morning, I woke up, and Lesley was the only person in my head.
To me, transitioning as in the process and it taking a lot of time, that is to me at least, something only being suffered by the people around me having trouble coping with it.
My name is Leslie Robert legally and I can change that when I have some spare cash
It's just a name on documentation and no more meaningful than a woman changing her last name when she gets married.
Or it's like a person going to a new name as a result of profession.
I need to get around to the formality, but I won't lose sleep if I don't get it down this month or this year.
Heck I don't really think it bothers me to not fret over it at all.
Everyone that knows me and gives a damn, knows I am Lesley Roberta, and that I don't care for the other name and couldn't care less if they like my new name or not.
Sending me a birthday card with the wrong name won't make me over react, but, I will not pretend either.
I'd rather it was happy birthday aunt Lesley, but I don't have time to waste on people that are not interested in changing either.
I moved on to more important details. Like what am I having for lunch today
I have friends and family that no doubt will have trouble. But it is important to see it for what it is, it's THEM having trouble, it's THEIR personal challenge, not mine.
I recently had to make the wife realize, no, I am not going to the 1 week late for Easter weekend turkey dinner and the sister in laws NOT as me. I wore my jewellery, I had perfume on, and I was carrying a purse. No one said anything, and I was pleased for that. If they chittered and chattered behind my back when I went home, I don't care.
Some day, I might show up sporting a wig and actual hair worth comment.
Some day I might show up wearing a skirt, and not think anything odd of it.
I am sure some will feel awkward, but that is THEIR cross to bear.
Some will embrace the truth, I am a woman, and not 'acting like one', and some will never accept that I am anything other than a guy trying to be a woman.
I of course will thank those that can make the change, and I am not planning to wait on anyone that can't.
Sorry your limitations are your problem, I have plenty of my own keeping me busy, I simply have no time to fix yours.
I mean, after all, in my routine day, my feet hurt like hell, and my hands likely are sore and my back probably aches some.
I have self esteem issues from doing nothing gainful all the time in addition to anything connected to being in the wrong form.
Plus I have a wife that needs my help and I of course spend time hoping my son has success in life and occupation.
I don't plan to deplete my limited resources fretting over someone calling me sir when even the blind can tell it is unlikely I want to be addressed as 'sir'. I mean, think about it, how many men do you thing wear women's fashions, women's accessories and carry a purse, AND want to be called sir?
I have no time for people that have nothing in common with Sherlock Holmes
My brother for instance, no one has told him that I know of. I am wondering, if the next time we encounter each other, will he realize how pointless it is to mention 'nice little purse you have there' as he did the last time all because I was using my Asus laptop case as a carry all. At the time, there was nothing else to suggest anything else.
But, I do kinda wonder, what he will say the next time, as I likely will have on jewellery and smell pretty and my purse lately is not a convenience, it actually IS a purse.
He's the only person I can think of, that likely might not connect the dots.
And I am STILL waiting on the shrink to achieve a frequency of visits that exceeds more than once in 3 months.
I hope he isn't mired in discussing mights and maybes and realizes I have already gotten past uncertainties and confusion based on what is happenings.
What I want from him now, is guidance on how to avoid pitfalls and assistance on finding expert support and assistance on how to cope with some of the challenges I have not thought of yet.
There is no 'do I want to transition?', I am so fully past that event now.
Now it is all about, 'what can hormones do to help me, and what is there in place to aid people like me financially and legally when I come up against people that are directly opposed to me'.
