My baby (now 31) has been estranged for about 10 years. She blamed me for making her come 'from a broken home' at age 21 when my ex and I separated.
Today, I received a package from her with a beautiful little Tiffany's silver choker and a note apologizing for her silence. She also noted that her life hasn't been all she expected and that she is truggling mightily with a numer of things.
Here is my reply to her.
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Dear [Child],
I just received your beautiful gift and your heartwarming note. Heartwarming, that is, except to hear that you are struggling with some things in your life.
I'm so sorry to hear that you are having some problems. You have always striven for perfection, and each person has to learn for herself that the perfection God creates isn't always the orderly perfection for which we strive. 'Stuff happens,' as they say.
I'm always here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen. Call me whenever you want. (I don't have your office phone or your home/cell phone.) I always have been here for you but didn't want to intrude on your pain.
I am truly sorry that you were hurt by my need to be true to the way God made me and my choosing life rather than leaving it. I knew you were hurting, but I didn't know how to reach through your pain. I'm glad, at least, I was able to stuff my identity down while you were growing up. Thank you for reaching out. I truly hope that we can be close again. I have missed you.
If you need to get away for a while, you are more than welcome to come crash with us for awhile.
I'll be out your way over the weekend of 23/24 June if you'd like to get together for lunch, dinner, whatever. I'll be there working on the weekdays between 19 and 26 June.
Thank you for the beautiful necklace. I will wear it often and think of my beautiful daughter.
I love you.
Dad
