So I've come to this point

[Erin Kay Howell]

This seems new to me but is not.

I've begun to identify myself in mind as Erin. My whole life as far back as I can remember I've never felt comfortable in my body. I was born male but Iim not sure thats who I am. It seems like ive had this back and forth struggle in my head as to what I truly am.

(This probably wont be very detailed since im doing this from my phone)

My parents are very old fashioned and I am married. Im 27 and have been constantly thinking about who I am since about the age of 15 (when I briefly mentioned to my girlfriend at the time that I felt I might be gay. Turns out.... I dont know. What I do know is that I have no one to talk to about this and is in more recent times beginning to eat at me. I no longer sleep it seems and I spend a tremendous time playing online games. Strangely enough my mind has been racing the last few weeks about this again because a guy I play with is a trans man.

Im not sure how much of this makes sense its more like a vent on my part but I have no where else to turn to and .... my anxiety levels are through the roof.

In short I feel like my female side is really trying to get out this time and I dont know what I should do or who to talk to.

- Erin

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Erin,

Welcome to our little family. Over 10660. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

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Janet  )O(

[Jamie D]

Welcome Erin.  I identify as bigendered.  As much as I tried to keep my "girl inside" she has a way of popping up, and I have learned to enjoy her.  Maybe you will too.

[Erin Kay Howell]

Ive always enjoyed her but the male exterior keeps telling her no. Ive just recently (one as of tonight) come out to two of my closest friends and they support me. However my next hurtle is talking to my wife. She has in passing said that she would remain with me if I was female so im keeping my fingers crossed. I plan on queueing her in to my feelings and thoughts on this sometime this weekend, I really hope things are going to work out. Ill create a thread in the proper place for the rest of this in its proper place but I got so excited when I found out others in my life are ok with this. I honestly haven't smiled this much ever and im feeling less weighed down.

[Jamie D]

Ive always enjoyed her but the male exterior keeps telling her no. Ive just recently (one as of tonight) come out to two of my closest friends and they support me. However my next hurtle is talking to my wife. She has in passing said that she would remain with me if I was female so im keeping my fingers crossed. I plan on queueing her in to my feelings and thoughts on this sometime this weekend, I really hope things are going to work out. Ill create a thread in the proper place for the rest of this in its proper place but I got so excited when I found out others in my life are ok with this. I honestly haven't smiled this much ever and im feeling less weighed down.

I acknowledge that having a spouse, and children, close family, a career, and friends, make these decisions even harder.

Sometimes, if you can stand the slow pace, gradual approaches allow your loved ones to "acclimate" to your changes.

[Erin Kay Howell]

  thank you. Im going to proceed with my education on the whats and hows to eventually become the person I know I am.

[cassandracav]

Fellow 27 year old, married person chiming in just to show support. If you need someone to talk to, I've gone through the talking bit with my wife and parents. It isn't easy, but with a little help, you can come out the other side of the tunnel much happier, and perhaps even with a better relationship with your spouse.

[Erin Kay Howell]

Thank you Cassandracav! 

[PeytonWinters]

Hi Erin! Welcome. You will like it here, I do!