True Life - I'm Questioning My Gender Again

[Jamie D]

MTV True Life

Be warned.  This episode is about detransitioning.

The therapist's observations at about the 18:00 minute mark is worth a view.

[Jayr]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I live in Canada so I can't watch it

Mind sharing what the therapist observed at 18:00?
Or make a small summary for me? xP

[Adam (birkin)]

I have been wanting to watch this since it came out because I follow Amanda on Tumblr and I think she's a really nice person. But I am also Canadian...I am hoping a way for me to see it will come up soon. Proxy sites don't seem to work on the MTV site either.

[Jamie D]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I live in Canada so I can't watch it

Mind sharing what the therapist observed at 18:00?
Or make a small summary for me? xP

Gender Therapist Feleshia Porter:  Transition is not about becoming male, or becoming female.  It's really about becoming your authentic natural self ... When you don't fit in the stereotypical gender norm, it's going to be confusing.  And I think that's been a lot of your [Amanda] struggles, in that, in this binary that people are dealing with, you don't feel totally comfortable, 100%, in either....

Trying to feel totally comfortable with yourself is about you making sense of who you are.

[Flan]

I couldn't find a easy way to rip the episode so I screen regioned it and ripped the segment.
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?ewdnd77z5wz5657

[Cindy]

Gender Therapist Feleshia Porter:  Transition is not about becoming male, or becoming female.  It's really about becoming your authentic natural self ... When you don't fit in the stereotypical gender norm, it's going to be confusing.  And I think that's been a lot of your [Amanda] struggles, in that, in this binary that people are dealing with, you don't feel totally comfortable, 100%, in either....

Trying to feel totally comfortable with yourself is about you making sense of who you are.

Mmmm that resonates.

I am so happy with me, comfortable and at peace that I have a very difficult time in remembering my ex-male persona.

The one thing that people from my past pick on is not so much my physical changes, but my personality and my id. I'm not seen as being the same person in a personality and 'will' way. My 'core' has changed, I have been surprised at this as I have no symptoms of multiple personality. My psychiatrist, who is one of the the most experienced in Australia in gender issues, told me that my 'male' identity was so false that he saw it in our preliminary interview. BTW he has no reason at all to boost my ego, he was being factual.

I also see  comments on 'passing' threads that pertain to physical identity rather than 'mental' identity. People seem to get hung up on factors that have no relevance.

To expand, in a way, there is a very beautiful woman in Australia who had her face blown off with a shot gun by her jealous evil partner.  Facially she is a horror, if 'passing' is an aspect of physical appearance , she can only pass as an extra in a horror movie.

But that is incorrect, she is a very beautiful woman who is severely disfigured.

Why.

Because her core, her soul, her existence is that of her.

What she looks like is irrelevant.

I'm not sure if any of that makes sense!!

C

[Tristan]

i can understand this. i know i did go back twice before. or at least tried to. transition is just not for everyone.

[Shantel]

This is just too nutty! I didn't pick up any comments about there having been any therapy prior to transition, this alone speaks volumes about the reasons for their mental and physical yo-yo'ing back and forth with gender dysphoria. An individual considering transition has to be absolutely sure before committing or it is a potential train wreck and a life destroying mistake.

[suzifrommd]

Interesting. Thanks for posting this, Jamie.

Some random thoughts:

* Amanda's parents seemed really selfish. Seemed to view her transition and detransition in terms of how it affects them.

* The view of Jait's surgery is blurred initially, apparently in the name of decency. The removal of the implant is shown clearly, after which the exact same breast is no longer considered indecent.

* Also interesting how the doctor absent-mindedly uses "she" to refer to Jait when he's done with the surgery.

* I really hope the reality of detransitioning individuals is not taken as evidence to invalidate the appropriateness of transition for treating GID. I can easily see some reactionary types using this as evidence that we are flighty or that gender surgery is a flight of fancy.

[Carrie Liz]

That whole thing about non-binary gender identity that the therapist was talking about really speaks to me. Because I feel like I fit in there somewhere. Really, I'm not a stereotypical man or a stereotypical woman. I'm more androgynous, but my self-identity tends to lean toward the more masculine side of female more often than not. And I didn't feel comfortable expressing this feminine side of myself as a guy, but I would feel comfortable expressing my masculine side as a girl, which is why I decided that transition was right for me.

Yeah... it's all about being yourself... your true authentic self. It's not about "becoming" a man or a woman, trading one false presentation in for another false presentation entirely. And I agree with everyone, this is why it is VERY important to know who you are, and try absolutely everything that you can to be yourself, before deciding to take such a life-changing step.

[Tristan]

i can understand the worry. this could under mind us in some peoples eyes. i know in January my great grand parents requested i de transition and try living as male for a week. it didnt go so well. i think these two were not really trans in the first place. maybe just gay and lesbian

[Flan]

* The view of Jait's surgery is blurred initially, apparently in the name of decency. The removal of the implant is shown clearly, after which the exact same breast is no longer considered indecent.

Gotta love US censorship where showing the human body in a medical procedure is considered on the same level as porn and other adult entertainment. It's probably the reason many of my favorite medical tv shows of the early 90's could never be aired these days.

[Blaine]

It was interesting to see another take on the journey, but it seems like both of them rushed into (and back out of) transitioning. I'm glad they're happy, but they should both be in therapy to help them work everything out.

[Jamie D]

This is just too nutty! I didn't pick up any comments about there having been any therapy prior to transition, this alone speaks volumes about the reasons for their mental and physical yo-yo'ing back and forth with gender dysphoria. An individual considering transition has to be absolutely sure before committing or it is a potential train wreck and a life destroying mistake.

Shantel, you are absolutely correct.  That was my first thought.  "Ex-Danielle" stated he had started through his/her experiences with drag shows.  I would not be the least bit surprised there was no counseling at all.  Amanda sounded as if that had been her first visit to gender therapist.

It seems to me that both individuals have some degree of GID/gender dysphoria.  I can not help but think both would have benefited from good gender identity therapy from the beginning (assuming they did not have it).

[Jamie D]

Thanks for posting.

Amanda's therapist in this episode is also my therapist, she's an amazing woman. I'm not binary either and I've sat there on the same couch and had that same conversation (and gotten those same looks from her  ). This was great.

So you must be in the DFW metro area.  Just one thing then ...

The Bryan Adams HS Cougars rule! 

[Jayr]

And that is why I'll never agree with inform consent.
Hopefully they sort everything out and become comfortable with themselves.

[Jamie D]

And that is why I'll never agree with inform consent.
Hopefully they sort everything out and become comfortable with themselves.

"Informed consent" does not necessarily mean by-passing therapy.  For some of our members, who are isolated, and cannot afford expensive, extended therapies, a meeting or two with a therapist might confirm something the TG/TS person has known for years.

I hope my Canadian friends get to see the broadcast at some point.  It aired on MTV on 4/4/13.

[Jayr]

"Informed consent" does not necessarily mean by-passing therapy.  For some of our members, who are isolated, and cannot afford expensive, extended therapies, a meeting or two with a therapist might confirm something the TG/TS person has known for years.

I hope my Canadian friends get to see the broadcast at some point.  It aired on MTV on 4/4/13.

I met I'm against informed consent needing 0 therapy before hand.
Should have specified, my bad.

Sure hope we do get too see it but I doubt it.
I've never even seen the ''It Gets Better'' documentary thing.
>.>

[Tristan]

idk. i kinda feel like if you think you are and you can afford it why not let them? i mean we let other people do stuff and learn by trial and error. i know i didnt have a whole lot of therapy for GID, tons of therapy for other things but GID not so much, I just knew. but then again im nothing like either one of those people on the show. they just seem gay to me which is not a bad thing.

[Shantel]

idk. i kinda feel like if you think you are and you can afford it why not let them? i mean we let other people do stuff and learn by trial and error. i know i didnt have a whole lot of therapy for GID, tons of therapy for other things but GID not so much, I just knew. but then again im nothing like either one of those people on the show. they just seem gay to me which is not a bad thing.

Since you brought this up I may as well say something that I've often wondered about but have never brought up here as I prefer not to generate a firestorm. But what you said about those two rang a bell with me. When I was going through the early stages of my own transition the business of sexuality never really came up, but in group sessions I got it that some were gay from the start. I have never been gay, though I have to admit that curiosity early on drove me to checking it out to see if I had any such propensity and it was a disaster as I had assumed it would be. But the question that was always lurking in the back of my mind about obviously gay people that were transitioning is how many people who have smoldering desires for someone of their same gender are transitioning to somehow seek self justification for their own condition and are seeking to have a more male on female heterosexual type of relationship for the sake of offsetting some internal guilt put on them by familial, religious and societal pressures? On yet another but similar note, I find myself attracted to trans-women now though I realize that we share the same type of chromosomal makeup. Life is certainly full of strange twists and turns!