Should I?

[Liminal Stranger]

I want to go see my guidance counselor tomorrow to hear from her whatever specifics she knows about how my school deals with TG kids because I know there are a few here, or were before they graduated. The only one here that I know is genderqueer and goes by female pronouns, but I'm trying to do a more or less complete social transition so I can spend that last year of high school happy and being known to teachers and other kids as just another guy. The students it's been tricky with because of the sheer number, facebook has helped but I'm also a bit shy. But teachers? Nope, not at all. I did request not to be called "ma'am" and the like but they forget a lot, and just plain don't know.

Now, anyone who's read my posts knows where my parents stand on the whole issue. With a non-supportive, unaccepting family, do you think it's at all possible to get teachers to use a male name and pronouns? Because it's killing me not to have them know and call me something I'm not, which seems a bit silly but I just absolutely hate when anyone refers to me by a female-specific word or my birth name, it gives me a stabbing and nauseating pain and I cringe from it. I also think I pass well enough to use the boys' bathrooms and locker rooms, but I really want to run everything by the guidance counselor first. Should I, and does anyone have opinions on making a complete social transition in school without parental support?

[TheoLeo]

I came out to my close friends early sophomore year, general people junior year, parents the summer before my senior year, and started a job with my chosen name the beginning of senior year. I had every intention of coming in that year and telling all of my teachers about the name situation and what not. I ended up not. Instead, I have two teachers who I came out to later in the year who respect it, and I just kind of ignore the rest. Suddenly having teachers refer to you differently may raise a few eye brows, and put the teacher and yourself both in an awkward situation. Even though outside of school I pass 98% of the time now, I'm stuck in this awkward grey zone where I have to use the girl's bathroom there, but get stared at (and even yelled at once) by girls who don't know me.

All-in-all, the last year goes by so fast, and if I had the chance to re-do it, I still wouldn't've come out to my teachers. It's not worth the hassle. Just let things be and attempt to fly under the radar. It may be hard on dysphoria some days, but it doesn't seem worth all it'll take.

[Liminal Stranger]

A good number of my classmates do already know, the others I'm not uncomfortable about telling. I'm just really tired of having to be treated like a girl in class because I spend so much time there, it'd make me feel a ton better if they were able to know and respect that. Especially since I'd like to get college recommendations with my preferred name and pronouns, going to try my best to go stealth there. Hopefully the counselor will have some information on how to do stuff like this, luckily it's an arts school with very progressive values.

I mean, technically it should take a quick e-mail (letter or something for the teachers who don't use theirs) to come out, if they understand which I think they will. Hopefully yes because it's a really big source of dysphoria for me.

[Blaine]

If you think it's worth a shot, go for it. It's your decision if the period of awkwardness is greater than or less than your dysphoria. Do you know how many of the people you come into contact at your school will be going to the same college as you? That's the main problem I ran into: people from high school using an old female nickname around my new college friends and classmates. Once they start doing it, they never stop. Now that I've switched schools again and don't see those people anymore, getting misgendered isn't that big of a problem.

[aleon515]

I'd give it a shot. I know I would do this, and would have before I had anything to do with this subject. Some teachers are pretty socially liberal and would go for this. The thing is a sort of high number are not. It is going to be hit or miss, imo. And some will be against this entirely. But I don't know, wouldn't it be better to have even one or two allies?

I'm guessing there could be awkward situations.


--Jay

[Liminal Stranger]

I don't really know where I'll be going to college, but I'm pretty sure there's bound to be people from school that go with me unless I go to some random place out of the country. Don't see any reason for my teachers not to be accepting, except for the fact that my parents aren't on board with the whole thing. But hopefully that won't stop them, that would be terrible.