Is it natural to get jealous over pretty much everything?

[Ally6691]

I have recently started coming out to a few of my best friends and it just feels so great, but now I wanna keep talking about it. I don't have very many female friends, which is why this is harder for me than it should be, but I just get jealous over everything. Most recently, I get jealous of a lot of things women have. Purses, jewelry, clothes, salons. I walk through the mall and it is just torture to walk past all of the stores that I want to go into, but can't. Does anybody else feel this?

[Kelly J. P.]

 Well, I don't know if I got jealous of little things like accessories, but expensive pamper-days, exclusive clothing, beautiful hair, and fabulous beauty were all objects of my ravenous desire. It was painful, knowing that I would probably not get to experience those things for either a long time, or ever.

I would be lying if I said it didn't affect how I socialized with other women. You get over it in time, though, because you eventually find yourself in spite of all those things you feel you need, or desperately want, to do. Your time will come, and perhaps you will find that the apple is not as sweet as you thought when it is no longer forbidden.

[Bex80]

Is it natural? I hope so because I am exactly the same. Don't ask me if i think its healthy long term though. Its part of GD for me which is every other thought when I'm not busy. x

[Shakira]

Thank you so much.I just logged in to ask this exact question,it's been driving me nuts for weeks.Does any one else's wife torture them by making you go shopping with her and you have to watch her doing what you can't for hours?Mine does and it's agonizing 

[Anna_81]

Most recently, I get jealous of a lot of things women have. Purses, jewelry, clothes, salons. I walk through the mall and it is just torture to walk past all of the stores that I want to go into, but can't. Does anybody else feel this?

Oh yeah........ this happens to me all the time.
I hav'nt owned a pair of male sunglasses in years, simply because the ones I really like are the larged, circular rimmed female ones.
I would rather squint then have to wear the classic male wrap around ones!!
The same has gone for watches also, although a couple of days ago I thought to hell with it, and went out and bought a ladies, burgandy coloured sports watch 
I also decided to get my ears peireced the same day as well!!

I think sometimes instead of getting jealous, you just need to find ways of geting those particular items, but in a more unisex form. I mean my watch was probably one of the least looking feminine ones from the ladies section and instead of selecting earrings with coloured stones, I simply just got the plain silver studs.

[StellaB]

Apparently it is according to one of my cisfemale friends who is a psychologist and therapist.

'You know you're one of the few transwomen who isn't obsessed with themselves,' she told me. 'Most that I come across are, and they don't understand that other people don't share their reality and aren't really that bothered about their transition. But they don't really make the effort to share other people's reality.'

Apparently this has also been mentioned by another couple of other cisfemale friends who say it puts them off developing any sort of friendship with a transwoman.

As for the jealousy part I wouldn't know. I have my own fairly well developed styles, I buy stuff off e-Bay, but when it comes to fashions and trends I'm about as ignorant as they come. I might see some sort of fashion accessory such as a bag or earrings or a combination of colours that some woman is wearing and I'll think 'Oh that looks interesting.'. But then I'll see how it matches my current wardrobe and work out my own interpretation.

One of the earliest lessons I learned was just because something looks good on someone else it doesn't mean that it will look good on me. I think I can fill a big black bin liner of fashion 'mistakes' and have a complete toilet bag of cosmetics in inappropriate or not very complimentary colours and shades.

But then my psychologist friend is one of these women who thinks her life is defined by her relationships. Each time there's some sort of change in her relationship I get a running commentary of 'what he said what I then said what he did how I felt what I think what he said what I said'. I don't know if anyone else gets this from their cisfemale friends.

But coming back on topic, I can't really say that the jealousy part is all that natural for me.

[suzifrommd]

Does anybody else feel this?

I do. Strongly.

It's receding a bit as I move toward transition and am now allowing myself do some of the things I've been jealous of.

Buying and wearing knee-high boots really helped.

[Tristan]

I think in the beginning it is because you have not really gotten the chance to present as yourself yet you know you want to. It's like being in limbo or something but it will pass .

[Heather]

I have recently started coming out to a few of my best friends and it just feels so great, but now I wanna keep talking about it. I don't have very many female friends, which is why this is harder for me than it should be, but I just get jealous over everything. Most recently, I get jealous of a lot of things women have. Purses, jewelry, clothes, salons. I walk through the mall and it is just torture to walk past all of the stores that I want to go into, but can't. Does anybody else feel this?

I'm not really a jealous person I'd say I'm more envious of the fact I never grew up as I wanted too I'll never have those experiences that normal women have. That's what bothers me clothes and stuff not so much!

[NicholeD]

I'd be lying if I said I don't get jealous of ciswoman. I don't let it effect my relationships with them, but it is difficult knowing that so many of them have what I never will. Essentially what Heather said above me. I would have loved to have been able to grow up in a way I was comfortable with, but... that's behind me now.

Its probably not good for me or for you to let it consume us though. I just need to keep saying to myself that patience is a virtue and everything will be ok in the end.


...I'll admit it is nice knowing that I'm not the only one who sometimes get jealous.

[Joanna Dark]

It's natural to become jealous but there is a line between simple envy and the green-eyed monster. And being too jealous all the time could begin to affect your social relationships. Misery may love company, but most people won't want your company if you're miserable. I totally get how you feel, especially about shopping, but I've found people actually don't care at all if you shop in the women's section. Nobody has looked at me weird or anything. And I've bought tops, jeans, underwear, makeup, tights, leggings, all kinds of things. Not one weird look. It's been the most anti-climatic event of my life.

[Heather]

It's natural to become jealous but there is a line between simple envy and the green-eyed monster. And being too jealous all the time could begin to affect your social relationships. Misery may love company, but most people won't want your company if you're miserable. I totally get how you feel, especially about shopping, but I've found people actually don't care at all if you shop in the women's section. Nobody has looked at me weird or anything. And I've bought tops, jeans, underwear, makeup, tights, leggings, all kinds of things. Not one weird look. It's been the most anti-climatic event of my life.

So true I remember how worked up I used to get shopping for women clothes. But now I realize how silly I was because nobody really cares. So now buy whatever I want when I want well when I have money that is.