Hello

[Mattie E]

SO I have been lurking and just reading, reading, reading here for a week or more now and I thought I ought to say hello, oh and thank you. Some of the things I have read on the forums are just amazingly uplifting

So me.. well about a month ago I finally got to a point where I had had enough of lying to myself. I cannot deny it, it has not gone away, it is fundamentally me. I am female. I don't care what the package I am in looks like, it's the wrong package

So now what.... that's the question that lead me to find here and to read so much. I started seeing a therapist, still very early days there and in many ways I find my own mind and questions move me along in my journey faster than his. I still have no idea what my journey is going to be. Some days I can imagine a happy life as a woman in the body I have, other days I wonder just how long I could do that. I do know I have been happier in the last couple of weeks than I have ever been, in fact I think I have only just got an idea of what happy really is.. before it was just a shadow of this and had.. dark edges. There are still some dark edges but at the moment the shear joy of the end of denial, of my girlfriend accepting me as I really am, of the world not ending when denial ended, is enough to make me feel so positive. Oh well.. just a bundle of contradictions me at the moment Hey I don't even know what my own body language is now I am not creating a male persona to present to the world

Anyway, hello all, I'm pleased to meet you

[Judge Yourself]

Hello hello, welcome to the forums, you'll find us all to be very nice and supportive - even me, though i spend most my time complaining

good to meet you

[Kate]

Some of the things I have read on the forums are just amazingly uplifting

It's great, isn't it? I mean yes, there IS a lot of pain and dispair at times... but there's also HOPE.

So me.. well about a month ago I finally got to a point where I had had enough of lying to myself. I cannot deny it, it has not gone away, it is fundamentally me. I am female. I don't care what the package I am in looks like, it's the wrong package

You got it. Keep that thought in focus, and nothing but nothing will stop you from getting where you need to be

So now what.... that's the question that lead me to find here and to read so much. I started seeing a therapist, still very early days there and in many ways I find my own mind and questions move me along in my journey faster than his. I still have no idea what my journey is going to be.

And that's often how it often goes... the journey NEVER ends. But as long as you stay honest with yourself, you'll always be right where you should be... even when you're waking up every morning, thinking, "oh my god, I can't belleve I [insert latest "impossible" thing you just did]" lol.

Welcome to the greatest adventure of all: of coming home to yourself!

~Kate~

[Suzy]

Mattie,

Thanks so very much for posting your intro!  I'm glad you have found the posts to be uplifting.  Do know that you are among friends in a safe place.  Welcome!

Kristi

[Mattie E]

Thank you for your welcomes

The most uplifting thing was being able to feel that I am not alone, not unique.. that is why I registered really I think. It is a lot less scary to know you are not the only one and I had noticed that the forums were full of some very supportive people, who give the best kind of support, honestly given and without rose tinting but done so with compassion.

Kate, "Welcome to the greatest adventure of all: of coming home to yourself!" should be the motto everyone takes for their life, and also, what a wonderful way to describe it. I know every day at the moment starts the way you describe even though the little things I do are just that, little. Compared to a month ago they are gigantic!

[rhondabythebay]

Hi Mattie, welcome to Susan's.

I had noticed that the forums were full of some very supportive people, who give the best kind of support, honestly given and without rose tinting but done so with compassion.

That is what I found before de-lurking and joining the conversation. I look forward to reading more from you.

Hugs,

Rhonda

[tinkerbell]

Hello Mattie and welcome to Susan's!

Thank you for your introduction.  Please take a few moments to get familiar with the site, review the site rules, and take advantage of our many resources such as the wiki, chat, and the links listed at the main page.  We look forward to your future posts and participation.  Enjoy your stay!

tink

[HelenW]

Hiya, Mattie!  Welcome!!

I have to agree with you, Susan's Place is the best.  I hope you find coming here as rewarding as I have.  Don't just limit yourself to the forums, though, the whole site: Wiki, Links and Chat are pretty fantasctic too.

I'm happy to make your acquaintance, Mattie, and I hope we'll get to know each other a little better real soon.

hugs & smiles
helen

[Mattie E]

Thank you all

I already have been looking at the rest of the site during my lurking! The wiki is a wonderful project and has already been of use to me and I have discovered the Chat

[Renae.Lupini]

Welcome to the neighborhood.

I am glad you like it here. That means we are doing our job correctly


Don't forget to read those site rules.