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Random Being of Random Anger in other words ARGHHHHHH

Started by K Style Addiction, April 11, 2013, 11:58:33 PM

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K Style Addiction

I hate everything, i'm ugly, i'm stupid, i don't even know what i'm doing here or why i'm writing this before i go on i want to make it clear i'm not asking for help, sympathy or attention, i just need to rant. I wouldn't care if nobody reads this.

I have no real friends, thank god i have my mom & dad the one thing i'm grateful for, everything else sucks. I'm so angry i feel like getting a loud speaker and just screaming to the whole world *ONE AND ALL GO ->-bleeped-<- YOURSELF*

I don't understand anything, ugh...why bother.

And besides being ugly (i know i am) i'm trans, tall (i'm 5'11..is that too tall?) and just ->-bleeped-<-, plus i'm shy as ->-bleeped-<- in real life and hell i got forget it....
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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Keira

Believe me, I have no reason to lie...

You are a very beautiful girl, even a lot of cisgender girls aren't as pretty as you are. All girls have flaws, no girl really says "I have the perfect body that I want" and if they do, they're probably lying; every girl hates some part of their body.

I have seen girls that are very tall, and because of their masculine features someone could just assume that they are trans...but they're not. Many "masculine" features that trans girls complain about are actually within normal variation.

I am pre-transition, but somedays I can see the girl in the mirror that could be; other days I think I'm waaay to "puffy" in the face and I think I look ugly. Today my self-image exploded into a million pieces...I cannot live with this body hair...other days I just pretend its not there until I can do something about it.

Everyone has a talent or a skill, or a special way of thinking. You are not stupid, no one is stupid; it's just a matter of if and how you use your "gifts". You can get over being shy...in high school I was very shy, I had trouble starting a conversation. All you have to do is when you start getting nervous and start thinking "I can't do it" just start saying whatever it is that you wanted to say before your thoughts get louder.

Hugs,

-Skye
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K Style Addiction

Thanks, anyway if anyone's curious as to exactly how tall i am i'm 5'11 ugh but again thank you for the beautiful post i was very touched.
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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~RoadToTrista~

You are not ugly mah dear, you're pretty. And I don't just say that to everybody just to make them feel better.

There's nothing wrong or unusual about being a tall woman in America.
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Keira

Quote from: Donna Troy on April 12, 2013, 12:48:47 AM
Thanks, anyway if anyone's curious as to exactly how tall i am i'm 5'11 ugh but again thank you for the beautiful post i was very touched.

Every once and awhile everyone needs someone that can relate or provide clarity in a stressful/depressing situation. I've had other people help me out, so if I have something worthwhile to say I'll pass on the compassion to another. After all, how else are we going to change the world?

-Sky
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spacial

I think you're beautiful as well, in so many ways.

Is there any chance that you could live in a different society for a couple of years? Perhaps where you could adopt a different persona for a while, knowing that you can go back to your own life, when you choose?
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Lesley_Roberta

Regarding the OP, well assuming you are female?

Your appearance on the usual scale of 1 to 10, 10 being best, anyone saying you are below an 8 needs their eyes fixed.

Hey, I have not posted a picture for a reason :)
I'm fully aware I am likely a 6 under ideal conditions.

I'm not ugly or anything, but I am sure not going to be giving guys any reason to be horny either. Not that I want to, but, it would be nice if I at least could.

But I do understand, that regardless, we all need to scream eventually.
Well being TG is no treat, but becoming separated has sure caused me more trouble that being TG ever will be. So if I post, consider it me trying to distract myself from being lonely, not my needing to discuss being TG. I don't want to be separated a lot more than not wanting to be male looking.
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Nero

Quote from: Lesley_Roberta on April 12, 2013, 11:17:49 AM
Regarding the OP, well assuming you are female?

Your appearance on the usual scale of 1 to 10, 10 being best, anyone saying you are below an 8 needs their eyes fixed.

Hey, I have not posted a picture for a reason :)
I'm fully aware I am likely a 6 under ideal conditions.

I'm not ugly or anything, but I am sure not going to be giving guys any reason to be horny either. Not that I want to, but, it would be nice if I at least could.

But I do understand, that regardless, we all need to scream eventually.

8? I'd put her at 20!  :laugh:
Donna, you're gorgeous. You just have low self esteem hon. Being tall is a good thing. Lots of girls wish they were tall. All the models are. Many as tall as you.
Nero was the Forum Admin here at Susan's Place for several years up to the time of his death.
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JoanneB

As a 6ft tall butt ugly, fomerly very fat, balding since 14, stuttering, awkwardly shy, and the list goes on and on and on and..... person, I can assure you that you are far from too tall and far from ugly. Any 10 minute wait on the checkout line in a supermarket assesing other 'typical' women will confirm that.

There is a fairly current thread titled something along the lines of Too tall to transition. Most 6 plus footers said no.

Think positive. You shrink as you get older. I calculated that by my 137 th birthday I'll reach my goal height of 5'6"  ;D
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Sarah Louise

Some of the women I see at the checkout lines in the grocery store make me feel skinny.

And I'm not skinny.
Nameless here for evermore!;  Merely this, and nothing more;
Tis the wind and nothing more!;  Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore!!"
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JoanneB

Quote from: Sarah Louise on April 12, 2013, 01:02:46 PM
Some of the women I see at the checkout lines in the grocery store make me feel skinny.

And I'm not skinny.
You must live nearby me!

These days I attribute most of the lingering looks I get due to a) I tend to always be in a skirt and makeup. b) I am tall and thin (in comparison) in a world full of 5'8 borderline morbidly obsese women.
.          (Pile Driver)  
                    |
                    |
                    ^
(ROCK) ---> ME <--- (HARD PLACE)
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Lesley_Roberta

Yah just need to watch a bit o People of Walmart to fully appreciate how little work it is to feel better about yourself :)
Well being TG is no treat, but becoming separated has sure caused me more trouble that being TG ever will be. So if I post, consider it me trying to distract myself from being lonely, not my needing to discuss being TG. I don't want to be separated a lot more than not wanting to be male looking.
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Blaine

You truly are very pretty. I tried to live a girl for a year or so and even with make-up, professional hair color, expensive clothes, and a genuine smile on my face I could never be higher than a 5 or 6. You're twice that, at least, and all you need is the confidence to go with it.
I did my waiting! Twelve years of it! In [my head!] Azkaban!
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spacial

The problem for Donna is the society in which she lives is intensely competitive. In these situations, differences, even those which are otherwise attractive and striking, can simply become out of place.

Donna. At the risk of repeating myself, you are intelligent, mature, and strikingly attractive. But you will never learn how to best handle that to your own advantage until you get away from your current environment for a while.

I don't have any suggestions of where you might spend any time or what you might do, but I do strongly suggest you go somewhere that is not dominated by sino-Asians. India, Australia, some parts of Africa, W Europe, some parts of the US. Not the ME though.

The world as they say, is your oyster.

In the mean time, your contact with the outside world is through us. That is good for us, of course.
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K Style Addiction

Spacial: Thanks for the comments but i've been in San Francisco for 6 months already :), sorry i've never came in contact with you (check your pm's)

To the rest thank you so much for your replies, they means a lot to me.
All I can say is that my life is pretty plain, I like watchin' the puddles gather rain.

Despite all my rage, I'm still just a rat in a cage
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Shantel

Yeah Donna, you know I second everything that everyone here had to say hon!
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