muuu,
I am really sorry you are in this spot, and that you are not happy by the responses. When I posted on this thread, my only intention was to offer some support (even though it is admittedly limited). I am sure most of the other posters have the same intentions.
No one said that we want you to accept being a male. What people have said is that if transitioning is important than you have to do things that aren't always easy. In your case, you need to get the ID so you can get the medication (according to what you have said). This is not an easy task for you and I'm sorry for that; however, if you want the medication, wouldn't it be worthwhile to get the ID. According to you, the ID is needed for the hormones and you say that you need to have the hormones. It seems to me the solution is to renew your ID. Even though that is difficult for you, isn't that a better plan than harming yourself? I know that social anxiety is REALLY difficult and most people can't comprehend how much of a struggle it is to live with it. I understand that you feel renewing your ID is an undue burden and creates more anxiety for you. But getting the ID allows you closer to your goal to transition and is certainly better than harming yourself.
I am sorry if this is not much help to you. Still, I hope you will consider that there are solutions (even if they are challenging) for you and that things can get better.
