Cruised by Another Woman While I Was Naked in the Locker Room

[melissa90299]

I have such low self esteem it is incredible and feel sooooooooo "less than" when I am naked in the locker room (naked for me equals panties) Today, I am standing at the mirror doing my hair and this woman walks by and checks me out then she smiles at me then goes to wash her hands, comes back, stops, smiles really sweetly and asks really warmly "Well, how are YOU doing." Something about the way she said it made me want to almost melt...then I said real warmly. "I am doing just fine!"

That's it but it's little things like this that make it all worthwhile and tell you that you really are being accepted into the exclusive club of women.

[Laura Eva B]

I have such low self esteem it is incredible and feel sooooooooo "less than" when I am naked in the locker room (naked for me equals panties) Today, I am standing at the mirror doing my hair and this woman walks by and checks me out then she smiles at me then goes to wash her hands, comes back, stops, smiles really sweetly and asks really warmly "Well, how are YOU doing." Something about the way she said it made me want to almost melt...then I said real warmly. "I am doing just fine!"

That's it but it's little things like this that make it all worthwhile and tell you that you really are being accepted into the exclusive club of women.

Melissa,

My mind just boggles ! 

You seem to regard every casual female encounter / exchange of hello's, especially in your gym, as having deep lesbian and sexual connotations ... ....

"exclusive club of women" .... just what's that about if not a fetishistic dreamworld ?

Take a grip, you might just be heading for the biggest mistake of your life  .

Laura

[melissa90299]

I have such low self esteem it is incredible and feel sooooooooo "less than" when I am naked in the locker room (naked for me equals panties) Today, I am standing at the mirror doing my hair and this woman walks by and checks me out then she smiles at me then goes to wash her hands, comes back, stops, smiles really sweetly and asks really warmly "Well, how are YOU doing." Something about the way she said it made me want to almost melt...then I said real warmly. "I am doing just fine!"

That's it but it's little things like this that make it all worthwhile and tell you that you really are being accepted into the exclusive club of women.

Melissa,

My mind just boggles ! 

You seem to regard every casual female encounter / exchange of hello's, especially in your gym, as having deep lesbian and sexual connotations ... ....

"exclusive club of women" .... just what's that about if not a fetishistic dreamworld ?

Take a grip, you might just be heading for the biggest mistake of your life  .

Laura

Anyone who has been welcomed into the club knows when she's been accepted. I guess it hasn't happened yet for you. Keep trying.

I am a big girl and have been around the San Francisco (you know the gay/lesbian capital of the world) lesbian bar scene a lot. I knew the scene though as an alcoholic and drug addict but I got cruised quite a bit when I hung in the dyke bars. I know when I am being cruised. And anyone who has cruised or been cruised a lot would know that is pretty easy to recognize when someone is cruising you rather than just being friendly.

There's all kinds of cruising that goes on at my gym. This is the city. The sauna is where girls get to know one another. Unfortunately, I have to wait a few weeks before partaking in that.

Since I was alcohol/drug and sexually addicted, and choose at this time to be celibate, I have to hold on to these little encounters to maintain my sanity for the next few weeks. I am not even dating although I did go on kind of a date tonight. This woman had invited me to this AA function in the Haight, then dinner, we held hands and kissed and stuff. Of course, I don't want to read any lesbian connotation into holding hand and kissing.

I find it amazing that someone on a site that is supposed to offer support would jump so rudely on a woman who prefaces an innocent anecdote by saying she is suffering with low self-esteem and feels "less than" I can only chalk it up to envy.

[SarahFaceDoom]

What does "cruised" mean?  And where did that term come from?

[Laura Eva B]

I find it amazing that someone on a site that is supposed to offer support would jump so rudely on a woman who prefaces an innocent anecdote by saying she is suffering with low self-esteem and feels "less than" I can only chalk it up to envy.

Really sorry Melissa, I way overstepped the mark, effects of too much drink last night (sure you'll understand) ... please forgive me.

Just you seemed to have two threads running about being "cruised" and "hit on" which I thought seemed a bit of an obsession ... but guess under your current self imposed celibacy its understandable ?

I get smiled at by women a lot (Well we smile at each other don't we  ? Just imagine the consequences as a guy of smiling at another guy in the Gents    !) but I can't think I've ever been hit on by another woman, but then of course I don't live in SF ....

.... with guys it happens quite often and I do enjoy it ....  but then some guys will flirt and try to chat up almost any woman, so I don't read much into it.

Laura x

[Hypatia]

In fairness to Melissa, I so understand the longing to be accepted as a woman by other women in womanspace. I mean this in a nonsexual way. I love socializing with lesbians and other queer women (and hetero women too), I love the culture and the shared feeling of sisterhood, though I'm currently not interested in being sexually active. For me this is a profound, lifelong yearning for finding somewhere in society I belong.

Before I came out, ever since childhood I'd lived in a shell of isolation from other humans, because I could never fit into male society, it was so alien to me-- and I did not find any entry into female society, being read as male. I have always needed to belong among women. Now that women are accepting me as one of them, it is the greatest joy in life. I no longer feel isolated, but accepted and connected to other human souls at long last. Melissa, you're beautiful and you deserve this happiness, enjoy the warm glow feeling.

[melissa90299]

I find it amazing that someone on a site that is supposed to offer support would jump so rudely on a woman who prefaces an innocent anecdote by saying she is suffering with low self-esteem and feels "less than" I can only chalk it up to envy.

Really sorry Melissa, I way overstepped the mark, effects of too much drink last night (sure you'll understand) ... please forgive me.

Just you seemed to have two threads running about being "cruised" and "hit on" which I thought seemed a bit of an obsession ... but guess under your current self imposed celibacy its understandable ?

I get smiled at by women a lot (Well we smile at each other don't we  ? Just imagine the consequences as a guy of smiling at another guy in the Gents    !) but I can't think I've ever been hit on by another woman, but then of course I don't live in SF ....

.... with guys it happens quite often and I do enjoy it ....  but then some guys will flirt and try to chat up almost any woman, so I don't read much into it.

Laura x

Apology accepted. I may seem to obsess about posting about getting hit on because I have decided to not pursue any of these advances until I get back form SRS. It's very frustrating. So bragging about it is all I have at this point.

Women smile at me all the time but that doesn't constitute a "cruise" or being "hit on" Lesbians have very strong gaydar and they pick up on me. You don't know me but, I must say, I have this very strong sexual aura that people react to.

Getting hit on is one thing but getting hit on the ladies room or when I am naked is something that is unique.

In fairness to Melissa, I so understand the longing to be accepted as a woman by other women in womanspace. I mean this in a nonsexual way. I love socializing with lesbians and other queer women (and hetero women too), I love the culture and the shared feeling of sisterhood, though I'm currently not interested in being sexually active. For me this is a profound, lifelong yearning for finding somewhere in society I belong.

Melissa, you're beautiful and you deserve this happiness, enjoy the warm glow feeling.

It is a wonderful feeling. It is all I ever dreamed about. Believe me, I knew earlier on when I was not being accepted what it is to be accepted.