Quote from: Metroland on April 09, 2013, 05:21:32 AM
Aren't you here bringing up the male/female dichotomy? My intention is to look more feminine. I definitely don't want to blend in with the guys but I don't want to wear a dress. How is gender going to play out at the wedding?
Yep, I did. But that is only because you have brought up that it might be more conservative.
My only intention is that you feel good about how you look, without drawing the wrong kind of attention.
There are going to be times when society dictates that you follow their rules, and this can happen at weddings.
It would be nice if you could find out from others, even the couple, what the expectations of dress code they are expecting.
Staying within those expectations is just a courtesy towards them. It's why I made the redneck remark.
I've been to wedding like that, also have worn tails , top hat and a walking stick. *That was more for fun, but stayed within expectations.
I'd ask around, find out what other people going are wearing.
It depends too, on whether or not you wish to express your gender through presentation.
I erred on the side of caution.
Weddings are a social gathering that are not like other ones. They are centered around two people.
Following their wishes is central to it being their day, hopefully making it a great one.
Brooches are fine, like I said, but at social gatherings with mixed types of people, a subdued one works best.
If there are others who will be wearing more fun clothes, like you have in the pic, then by all means go for it.
But again, only if it is within the expectations of the couple.
You don't want to become the talk of the day, leave that up to the person who gets too drunk instead.
Weddings should be as fun as possible, in my opinion, they are supposed to be a happy occasion.
Some people choose to make them overly stuffy affairs, for reasons that are mostly pompous in origin.
That's where it gets confusing. So when in doubt, be a little more on the subdued or conservative side.
I took it as you are going to be presenting as male and maybe throw in a little androgynous style.
These kinds of things can run from somber funeral dress to very colorful outfits.
If you are competing with the woman for looking well dressed, you might come off as too feminine.
That's up to you. Fashion at gatherings of different types of people can be confusing.
Weddings are particularly difficult if there are expectations of a certain style or standard.
How far up can you dress? How far down can you dress? Are you wanting to make a big statement or just imply?
There are, unfortunately, no real set rules. They are based on expectations, and if those expectations aren't made known, then what do you do?
That is when I either find out from others that are going or go with a more conservative subdued look.
If it's going to be a small wedding, that is probably best if you don't know what others are wearing.
If it is a large wedding, you can bet that someone is going to be rather flamboyant, probably more than just one person.
You just never know what people will wear. Being flamboyant is fine, but you don't want to be the center of attention, especially bad attention. Don't be the talk of the wedding unless that is your intention.
But that is not the proper thing to do. Just keep in mind it is a day for someone else to be the center of attention.
Dressing up in an androgynous way for a wedding or other social gathering is always confusing, unless you know the people well.
Most of looking well dressed is in the tailoring, or cut if you will, of your clothes. Accesories should never take away from that.
They should add to it, but never overpower. There just isn't a substitute for well fitting clothes that fit the occasion.
When people remark how nice people look, it's usually how well the clothes fit that makes the difference when they are appropriate.
Like you, I make everything look good.
Ativan
