Been looking around here the past week since my girlfriend told me about the site. Finally got the time to join since my exams are over. So hello from the UK (NE Scotland to be a little more precise) My name (will be) Leo so getting used to using it here in the meantime. This seems like a nice community which is the kind of place I want to be. Basically I've been dealing with this my entire life, I dont ever remember a time when I havent felt the exact same way I do now. I dont even consider myself to be 'transgender' or whatever, I am male with a body that is wrong.. It just needs to be fixed. I know all of you here understand this stuff so it will help to be around everyone that does. No one seems to get this and blow it out of proportion completely misunderstanding. I dont see whats hard to understand about this. I am nearly 24 now and finally at the stage where I need to do something about this, I cant stand it any longer. I regret not doing it sooner but I suppose theres been a number of reasons why I didnt. I cant change that now and am only looking forward to when I can get all this going
It all started recently when I finally told my girlfriend everything. I havent told anyone before cause I know what the normal reaction is but obviously I had to at some point and the perfect opportunity to came up so I took it. She has been incredibly supportive and understanding of everything, nothing has changed at all. If anything it has only made us closer. She is going to support me through everything I need to do until I can be the way I was supposed to be. She has just joined here too. I was at my GP 2 weeks ago and she picked up on the issue very quickly so she is the only other one who knows right now. She gave me information on a clinic that deals with all this that I need to be referred to them and have psychiatric tests and stuff done. Given the diagnosis I can finally get started on HRT and hopefully the first part of surgery (I am going all the way with it) The best part is she said if they really feel Im basically in the wrong body, I might be able to have the surgery done on the NHS. I was expecting to have to pay for it all and doubt I could even afford it so this is great to hear. Not guaranteed to get funding but the fact it might happen is still good. I dont even know how much each individual stage would cost but Im sure I couldnt afford it anyway so this will mean alot if I can get it. There is no doubt about the surgery, I know alot of surgeons are pretty reluctant to do it incase we 'change our mind' but I know myself well enough to know thats not even a possibility. I need it to happen. Hoping them seeing this might help speed up the process as they normally say to wait a year before surgery but it can be quicker. I've waited long enough already
The fact my gf knows now is only making me more frustrated that I have to wait so long to get on with all this.. Im doing a Masters degree right now which doesnt finish til September so I cant really start on anything til this is out of the way. I might possibly try and get the initial meetings done before then if I can, ideally I'd like to be at the stage of something starting in September rather than just then having to meet them and everything else before I can get anywhere. Wish it could happen right now but its going to be awhile yet I guess.. Nothing compared to what I've already been through but I didnt have someone waiting for me before, now I do I just want this done as quickly as possible so we can do everything we've planned. After 2 years (even without surgery) I can become legal in which case even my birth certificate can be changed. The first step is name change and the 'real life experience' which makes no sense to me as Im already doing that and have been all my life so I think the top part of surgery can happen relatively quickly as well as hormones. I cant wait for this to happen and finally be recognised for what I've been my entire life. I've been severely depressed for over 8 years now and I now realise this is the reason why. Other things have contributed to it but this is the fundamental basis of it. For awhile I thought I was hypothyroid as had alot of the symptoms but all tests negative. I was bombarded with anti-depressants which no surprise did absoloutely nothing for me. No amount of drugs are going to change this. Sorting myself out will make all of these problems go away too
That was too long but there we go. I will post a separate thread somewhere here about the specific clinic I need to go to, wondering if anyone else has been there and what its like (Sandyford in Glasgow if anyone is reading this) My amazing girlfriend will be around here too. Seen too many stories of relationships being destroyed by finding this stuff out so I thought she could be a good example of how things can work out. Nothing has changed at all for us and I cant be more thankful for everything she's done. It is helping me to be more open about this. Guess I've been avoiding it for too long and not even looking into any information but that has changed now, hence why I am here. Next step is to tell my mum.. ugh. Anyway I will be sticking around here and hopefully get to know alot of you. Its good to feel you're not alone in dealing with this, it can feel like you're the only one going through it but the big community here obviously shows that isnt true. Hopefully I can get an avatar soon and be able to do something with my profile
