Switching HRT doctors/rant

[Farm Boy]

Question is in the last paragraph.

Alright, so I've been going to the same doctor for 7 months now.  She started me on an extremely low dose of T, and has been absolutely unwilling to work with me or raise my dose in what I consider to be a reasonable manner.  (7 months and I'm still not at the prospective "full dose" she said I would eventually be on.)  I have not experienced changes aside from some chin hairs and a bit of leg hair.  This is really messing with my head and making it impossible for me to move forward.  I can't change my IDs yet because I only pass 70-80% and I still get the red death, often for months at a time, so I don't want to legally cut myself off from a women's bathroom if there's no handicapped option.  :/

My doctor sees no problems or abnormalities with the way my transition is going (or rather, isn't going) and became hostile when I kept pushing the issue.  She pretty much said that I would stop questioning her and do it her way, or I would go elsewhere.  I have no desire to waste any more time with this person, and have made an appointment with someone else.

My question is this: I have an upcoming appointment with the ridiculous doctor next month, a week before my appointment with the new person.  She doesn't know I've made an appointment with someone else.  Do I tell her?  If I do, and it doesn't work out with the other doctor, she may refuse to see me and then I'll be stuck with nobody.  If I don't, and it does work out, she may write in to the other doctor how I'm a bad patient who does things behind their doctors' backs.  My therapist told me that "doctor shopping" could get me sort of blacklisted as a patient, and I really don't want that to happen, but I have had enough of this person.

[Mr.X]

I am not sure about the telling her part, but to me, it just seems you are looking for a second opinion. That is not doctor shopping in my eyes. You question the doctor you have right now based on your own research, and experiences from others (I assume). This happens a lot in the medical world and asking for second opinions is not something that should get you blacklisted, unless you ask many doctors until you find one that does what you like.

[Magnus]

It wouldn't do you any harm to err on the side of caution and to simply not disclose it. You aren't under any obligation (legal or otherwise) to do so, at least.

For what it is worth, I think you're making the right right call. I would do the same. I do not trust doctors that do not sufficiently listen to me and work WITH me, even outside of the TRT. It's a hallmark of a bad doctor, as far as I am concerned.

[Adio]

Could you reschedule the appointment with your current doctor until after you've seen the new one?  That way if the new one works out, you can just cancel with your current one.  If it doesn't work out, you still have somebody.  Either way I would not mention your new appointment with the one you are seeing right now.

[Simon]

You have no obligations to inform the current doctor of an appointment with a new one. You've dealt with her longer than I would have. Didn't she basically say to do things her way or find another doctor? Well, you're just taking her advice. Do what you need to do for you. Don't worry about her.

[Farm Boy]

Ok, thanks!  I didn't know if there was anything she could slap me with later if I didn't tell her.  Good idea Adio, I will reschedule my appointment.  Here's hoping the new doctor will work out!

Simon- Yeah, that's basically what she said.  I've only stayed with her this long because I didn't know of anyone else to go to until recently.

[Felix]

I don't have any advice but I hope it gets worked out okay. In my unprofessional opinion, effective HRT should not leave you still having periods. I don't understand why she wouldn't find that alarming in a transguy. She has to know it causes you distress. Also, symptoms aside, it sounds like she's rather adversarial towards you and how you define yourself. Your expectations in transition are likely along the lines of wanting to be a normal male, and it sounds like she's not taking that at all seriously.

Be careful but try to keep your well-being in mind whether others seem to or not.

[Farm Boy]

Thanks, Felix.  Yeah, I think she must be running on an outdated model of operation or something.  She told me at my first appointment that I wouldn't notice anything for two months.  Since most guys on Youtube seem to have voice changes start happening around 3-4 months, I asked if this would be possible.  She said maybe.  Then she said that I would hardly notice anything for 8-12 months, and that it may take years for menstruation to stop.  Looking back now, I don't know why I didn't run from her then.  I guess I just didn't believe her? 

When I told her that everything she'd told me was the exact opposite of everything I'd read/heard elsewhere, that's the point that she got mad.  She got all bent out of shape and told me that she had been doing this longer than anyone else in the area, and so she was basically the god of transgender HRT, and anybody who had different methods was wrong.  She also let me know that if I kept complaining about it, I wasn't welcome to stay her patient.  That's when I decided to look for someone else.  She may well be the longest practicing person in the area, but she seems to refuse to acknowledge any updates or changes in procedure, and she can't be reasoned with.  I'm mostly angry with myself for staying with her so long and wasting so much of my time.

[Natkat]

I wonder, if your problem is your afraid of the stiuation that your new doctor isn't cool couldn't you postpone the deal you got with the old one a week into the future or how long you need, its not unusual people have to cancel/postpone there apointments some time for whatever reason they may have.

when you have checked out the new doctor you can see whatever she is cool or not, and it would be more easy to jugde if you should shift or not.