When you look at yourself in the mirror...

[Liminal Stranger]

Comebacks are hard when you have a randomly appearing stutter XD
When I look in the mirror, I see a guy with some bad freaking gynecomastia, some days it can just pass for pecs because I can flex them like one of those annoying guys who rips off their shirt at the drop of a hat. I try not to look at my lower half because that makes me sad. Luckily I'm short, so any mirror I'd be naked in front of doesn't show my full body.

[tvc15]

Trust me, I suck at speaking, and have a randomly appearing stutter too. I am pretty soft-spoken all the time. But that means when you do say stuff like that it hits 'em even harder.

[Liminal Stranger]

Trust me, I suck at speaking, and have a randomly appearing stutter too. I am pretty soft-spoken all the time. But that means when you do say stuff like that it hits 'em even harder.

True. I don't know what it is, some days it's easy to speak and completely lead a conversation in a group of friends, and others it can take several minutes to untangle one sentence to the point of comprehension, and by then I get frustrated and stop speaking. But I've gotten some beautiful comebacks in before, a friend of mine and I go back and forth with them all the time in a joking manner.

[supremecatoverlord]

I see male - kind of hard not to when I'm so hairy. I used to have trouble seeing myself as male when I'm clean shaven, but not any longer.

I've never had anyone comment about the size of my hands. I've seen guys around my height who have hands that are about the same size or perhaps even smaller. My hands have also gotten a lot rougher since I've done a lot of manual labor over the past few years. My inner knuckle area is covered in calluses. I feel that my hands are pretty manly now. Back in high school, I would always have the girls I date comment on how soft my hands are, but I doubt that would happen any longer.

I hate my butt though - I really do. It's not flat and probably never will be.

[Nero]

I've never had anyone comment about the size of my hands. I've seen guys around my height who have hands that are about the same size or perhaps even smaller.

I've never heard it either, but like you my hands seem fairly normal for guys my height and build. Feet as well. Short cisguys do generally have shorter hands and feet.

[supremecatoverlord]

I've never heard it either, but like you my hands seem fairly normal for guys my height and build. Feet as well. Short cisguys do generally have shorter hands and feet.

My feet are about the size of my dad's and he's got around half a foot on me, so.

[Arch]

I have never experienced this phenomenon, even when I saw an androgynous person in the earlier part of my transition.

Nowadays, I see a man in the mirror as long as...well, I try not to look below the waist if I'm not wearing anything to cover it up. It's hard to avoid seeing the reflection because my bathroom has a very low mirror right across from the shower. When I do look as I'm coming out of the shower, I tend to be so riveted to the blank space at my crotch that I'm not seeing male or 50/50; I'm seeing 100% girl/monstrosity. I wish I didn't have this view of myself, but I haven't succeeded in conquering it.

Some guys have reclassified their parts as male because, after all, those parts are ON a male. I wish I could do this, but I just can't. Too essentialist, I guess.

[BearGuy]

I'd say it's like 90% man, without clothes. I've been doing a lot of incline bench pressing about everyday for a few weeks, with very little tissue on my chest to begin with. And they're at that point where it could go either way. My goal is by mid-summer, to go to the town pool and go stealth without the shirt.  Everyone that knows of me here thinks I'm post op already.

This is my exact goal! I'll be posting a pic up on here soon to ask whether or not my chest is okay to go out shirtless. I'm trying to get shredded by summer, after my long bulk, and see whether that will kill the fat on my chest as well.

[Keaira]

It seems that Caleb isnt the only one who still has problems seeing himself as fully male in the mirror. It hurts. Not just for him but for me as well. Because it sucks a big chunk of self confidance from him and i can see it on his face. But I understand too. I hate that you guys feel this way too. Anyway, Caleb has these big beautiful brown eyes. I wouldnt say they were masculine, but neither are they feminine. I think its his most attractive feature, the window into his soul. But, mainly because its usually all i ever see of him. Funny thing is, I'm not really into guys. But I find him handsome.

Anyway After 2 years, if I look at my face, I dont see a guy at all. Heck I dont see the old me. I see more of my Mum than i ever used to.. Unless I pull my hair back or im standing topless in front of the mirror.Its kind of a weird feeling actually. Then I can kind of see the old me. But my body still kind of screws me up. I have big arms and legs from all the years of manual labour, working out in high school etc.  But, im also somewhat of an anomoly among trans women. Im short, I have small hands and wrists. Even a little chin, no adams apple. My voice passes every time and I've not changed it.
But, I still have facial hair and unfortunately, its still pretty dark. Its like having a girls face and boobs stuck on some guys body.  I know Caleb can't see me as ever having been male. But, that's genetics I guess. But one thing never seems to leave my mind. How the hell does anyone see me as female?
But, I get by. I pass. I tell myself, its okay. I can make do until my next life.  ^_^

[Saison Marguerite]

It seems that Caleb isnt the only one who still has problems seeing himself as fully male in the mirror. It hurts. Not just for him but for me as well. Because it sucks a big chunk of self confidance from him and i can see it on his face. But I understand too. I hate that you guys feel this way too. Anyway, Caleb has these big beautiful brown eyes. I wouldnt say they were masculine, but neither are they feminine. I think its his most attractive feature, the window into his soul. But, mainly because its usually all i ever see of him. Funny thing is, I'm not really into guys. But I find him handsome.

Anyway After 2 years, if I look at my face, I dont see a guy at all. Heck I dont see the old me. I see more of my Mum than i ever used to.. Unless I pull my hair back or im standing topless in front of the mirror.Its kind of a weird feeling actually. Then I can kind of see the old me. But my body still kind of screws me up. I have big arms and legs from all the years of manual labour, working out in high school etc.  But, im also somewhat of an anomoly among trans women. Im short, I have small hands and wrists. Even a little chin, no adams apple. My voice passes every time and I've not changed it.
But, I still have facial hair and unfortunately, its still pretty dark. Its like having a girls face and boobs stuck on some guys body.  I know Caleb can't see me as ever having been male. But, that's genetics I guess. But one thing never seems to leave my mind. How the hell does anyone see me as female?
But, I get by. I pass. I tell myself, its okay. I can make do until my next life.  ^_^

I didn't even see Caleb as female when he said he was one! But Keaira I have seen a few pictures one with hair tyed back and you don't look male in them. I have not seen you topless (not that I am hinting I want to!! Ha!) but I am sure that is not an issue. I think everyone is their own worst critic much of the time.

[VDub]

For a long time I couldn't look at myself naked in a mirror at all, it was bad enough that I'd have problems taking showers or anything.  Eventually now it got better, I think more because it's like I de-focus, and it's sort of more like looking at an unfinished sculpture.  Really depersonalized, sort of "There's that bone structure, and here's that muscle structure, it's just hidden under that wrong shape or that incorrectly placed fat" something like that.  It's a little weird but it helps.

[Dominick_81]

Have you ever thought that you look 50/50? Male and female at the same time? Not neither, but both.
I'm talking about both pre-T and T guys, especially T guys who have experienced changes already.

When I look in the mirror I see a complete mixture of both genders, shockingly 50/50 without clothes. With clothes, probably 90% male. Of course I don't like it, and only waiting for more changes to happen. My upper body is masculine, while my lower body remains feminine.

I've always thought I looked 50/50. I still see female and male when I look in the mirror. I think, no wonder why I keep getting ms-gendered, I look like a girl trying to pass a boy.

[Arch]

I've always thought I looked 50/50. I still see female and male when I look in the mirror. I think, no wonder why I keep getting ms-gendered, I look like a girl trying to pass a boy.

That's funny because when I look at pics of you, all I see is a teenage boy.