Conversation

[krakenshay]

I have noticed with cis dudes, they ignore women when they are in groups and talking. well maybe not ignore but it seems like they tend to dominate conversational spaces. this is not true for all guy/girl interactions of course.
pre t and having low self esteem I found it hard to chip in or contribute to conversation esp with guys who tend to dominate all spaces. I am on t now and can feel the confidence rising but I still have trouble contributing to conversation due to being socialized female growing up. I usually have things to say but don't know when to jump in, timing etc? I'm also soft spoken so maybe increasing volume, which will highlight my squeaky voice, so I don't know.
I'm tired of people asking me what's wrong or just plain thinking I'm boring or anti social when its not intentional and tired of just being a fly on the wall

Can any guys attest to having a similar experience and how you overcame it? Like is there something I can actively do instead of waiting for t to up my confidence

[Cindy]

Sorry for being the first to reply and being female!

This is a very common thing in both genders, we were socialised during our childhood to male or female and breaking that is a tough for both of us.

As a 'guy' I was very nervous and didn't socialise much and of course guys  tend to be a bit in each others face and talking over each other and starting and stopping conversations much more than woman tend to do. Woman tend to listen men tend to talk; which explains most marriage arguments

IMO it is confidence, OK T will give that some extent but you also have to practice.  Sort of stuff I did when I was training to speak in public etc (I'm a Uni Lecturer and I had to face the fear of speaking in public, as well as then adapting to that when I transitioned). I would meditate on it, go through stuff get my subconscious ready to respond, think it through and then downright practice, alone and then in your group of friends. It's like driving a car etc you have to get use to letting the brain take over and using your reactions to do what you want to do.

Confidence. yes T will help but you have to practice, teen boys bulldust each other  and then it's natural, you have to catch up on those years through practice.

JMO

Cindy

[krakenshay]

Thanks for your feedback Cindy. I didn't mean to close suggesting off to anyone, my bad.

I will practice and meditate on it. I know not to rely on t to change me and realize I need to put in work to to realize my true self and just enjoy life.

[Nero]

 I think it's more a personality thing. There are plenty of quiet guys who are part of the group, but don't say much in group settings. In any group setting, male, female, or mixed, you're always going to have one or two people who dominate conversation. Admittedly, in a mixed group it will usually be a guy.
If you don't know these guys well yet, then sometimes it is prudent to hang back a bit at first. If you do know them pretty well, then just try saying what's on your mind about the topic. Don't worry about sounding stupid or saying the wrong thing. Just follow the conversation and make sure you're jumping in when appropriate. You know, make sure you're not cutting anybody off and you'll be fine. Think about the topic at hand and your thoughts on it instead of yourself and how awkward or shy you feel.

[krakenshay]

Will def focus on people around me instead of turning inward. Being an introvert this would be my go to response and then anxiety, but will try the suggested method of being present in the room / conversation.