Not sure if FTM or Androgyne...

[duckfish405]

My two brain cells had a good five minute debate about whether to post this topic in this forum or in the Androgyne forum, so if I've posted in the wrong place, I apologize, and feel free to move or delete this post.

That said, I'm having a pretty hard time finding that line between transgender and androgyne, so I was hoping somebody could put it all into lay man's terms for me.  I was born female, and often followed more masculine behaviors growing up than feminine.  I still do, and now exclusively wear men's clothing.  I really want top surgery, but bottom surgery isn't really high up on my list of priorities.  Taking testosterone is pretty optional to me because I'm not too crazy about having facial hair (I hear it's super itchy), and I've heard horror stories about aggression.

It all seems to point to FTM, but I'm not sure that I'm 100% convinced.  I appreciate any feedback or advice and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

[Jamie D]

You know, I think many of us have trouble "labeling" ourselves.  I sort of gave up in that, because labels are constricting, and I am more of a free spirit.

I am reasonably sure I fit somewhere on the non-binary spectrum.  Maybe you possess the attributes of "both" major genders.  Maybe some are unique to yourself.

So why not just be ... you! 

[spacial]

I agree totally with Jamie and will say I don't think we even need to.

As for top surgery, that seems to be what most guys go for first.

Facial hair can be itchy but the biggest problem with it is continually managing it. I understand that most guys like it because, in presentation, it tends to mean the difference between being called sir or sonny. It's a bit uncool getting thrown out of a bar for being underage, when you're 25.

[JoanneB]

I tend to agree with Jamie also. I consider myself as MTF, love the effects HRT, primarily to my head and my heart, followed by finally seeing the hint of a body I actually can be happy living in. GRS has never been on my "Must do" list. The absolute last worry I have about presenting as Joanne is a surprise panty check 

If I allow it, which is a lot  , there is a battle royale inside my head over the label. Which in turns dictates what course of action I need to take. (did I mention I tend to be rule bound and have a lot of black & white thinking?) This all leads to a lot of anxiety, self doubts, existential crises, plenty of tears, plus the physical side effects as eating and drinking too much. All things I'd rather not want to deal with.

I am at a point where I have a great compromise that is mostly working in my life. Outside of work I mostly live part time as female. I am happy, there is joy in my life, I have passion, I actually like myself!

Thanks to me I suspect, when a new member of our TG group comes to their first meeting, the group facilitator basically says there are no rules a trans person needs to follow, the trick is to find a place along the broad sprectrum of TG that makes you happy. Forget about the rest. Usually that is followed by a collective turning of all eyes to me as a slink down in my chair out of guilt and embarasment.

[Edge]

That said, I'm having a pretty hard time finding that line between transgender and androgyne, so I was hoping somebody could put it all into lay man's terms for me.

Transgender is an umbrella term that includes various gender variant individuals. Androgyne is, in a nut shell, a non-binary gender identity. (Feel free to correct me. I am bad at words.)
 

I was born female, and often followed more masculine behaviors growing up than feminine.  I still do, and now exclusively wear men's clothing.

Behaviours and clothes do not equal gender.

I really want top surgery, but bottom surgery isn't really high up on my list of priorities.  Taking testosterone is pretty optional to me because I'm not too crazy about having facial hair (I hear it's super itchy),

Not everyone want lower surgery or testosterone.

and I've heard horror stories about aggression.

This is a myth. Sure, if you take illegal steroids on top of and beyond normal levels, you'll get 'roid rage. However, we tend to aim for normal levels and are under the care of our doctors. (Feel free to correct me. I don't know much about 'roid rage.)

It all seems to point to FTM, but I'm not sure that I'm 100% convinced.  I appreciate any feedback or advice and if you have any questions, feel free to ask.

I had a difficult time figuring out if I was ftm or bigender, so I began writing a day to day journal about how I felt about my identity each day. It helped me see things more clearly.

[duckfish405]

Thank you all so much for your input, answers, advice, and personal experiences.  I appreciate it very much, mostly because it's nice to actually be able to talk about it with other people besides my girlfriend, who is the only one who knows about my gender identity or lack thereof.  It's nice to hear from people who have gone through similar things.  I'll do my best to follow your advice!  I especially like the idea of the journal, Edge, and I'm very relieved to find out that the 'roid rage is a myth lol. 

Finding the "label," to me, is more about being able to find a support group easier and less about conforming to the act of labeling myself to make society more comfortable.  But it also will help me figure out what to expect down the road of creating a body I'm happy to live in. 

Once again, thank you all!

[aleon515]

You can be whoever you want to be, and you can consider yourself male or whatever you want and don't need to have any surgery at all and don't need any medical sort of treatment whatsoever. You could be more androgynous or you could simply be a male and not do any of those things. If it is ok with you that no one will take you as that, esp as you get older. But if it's ok with you it's ok.

I would say that you have a couple misconceptions.
Most transguys don't get lower surgery, due to cost and results, which are not at the same stage as SRS in transwoman. I know maybe 20 transguys well enough to know that none of them has lower surgery. Some guys do not really have that much lower dysphoria.
T does not cause 'roid rage. At least not the doses we take. I do feel closer to anger and irritation than I used to. But it isn't anything like rage. Some people are actually calmer on T.
Try to avoid reading certain radical feminist separatist blogs with screeds on the evils of transmen. Anything with "horror stories" on it is likely not to be true. Esp when they continue to call trans males "girls", "women", etc.

Some support groups are more comfortable with people who don't have labels. I sometimes go to mixed group with MTFs, FTMs, and genderqueer, genderfluid people. But perhaps this is more unusual.

--Jay