Spotting each other in public

[eVan24]

I, personally, think I would have liked someone to come up to me and say something. I know I don't pass well, or well didn't. Currently I'm at the stage where people just flat out avoid pronouns because they just don't know (that's a win in my book). But I would have liked to have had some added trans support. I don't know any trans guys other than my nurse but he's moving to Colorado. I don't have time to go to any of the support groups because they are an hour away from me and I don't have time to make it out there. I would just like to have a friend who I can relate to.

[rexyrex]

that is tricky as some people may not want people to know. If it was me just make friend with him like as normal and if he does bring it up or mention that he is trans, and then now you know and then you can help out..?

[Natkat]

I don't have a transdar in public, I seen a couple of people I suspect to be mtf and ftm but im not sure about it and in general I dont say or do anything if its just regulary. I belive if I saw someone sitting down crying out loud "why am I trans!" something I would go to them but beside that I generally dont.

Personally I don't think I wouldn't like another transperson in public going right up to me like "hey your trans right?"
it would be abit wierd, and maybe also cause I somethimes been misunderstood for a pre- mtf so there like. "when are you gonna dress up as a woman and start E?" hehe.. yeah.. not really gonna happent. XD

for online I often contact people who are trans just to talk, and a old friend of mine even started sending people to me so somethimes I get mails like. "hi, I been told maybe you can understand and help me" messages, where I generally just try talk to them kinda easygoing and ask them what they want or dont want and if I can I try to give them advice or help them.
I also had contacted people abit from school which I knew where trans just saying if they needed help or advice I could maybe give it to them but not much more.
I dont want to be pushy, and honestly I dont feel like just being with people simple for being trans, but rather for being the person they are.
on the other hand as mention my country isnt the best suport of transpeople and I am one of the lucky people who actually have contacts and abit of knowlegde on how you can get T change your name and all those kind of things. its really not all that obvious and easy for people to find out if you dont have the right contacts so I feel it abit to be my responsibilaty to help others to at least get in contact with other people, or where to seach or the basic on getting help.
in general its manly help to selfhelp, I cant really be an therapist or anything like that for them, so im not really able to help people out of deep depression or something like that.

theres only been a few situation where I have refused some kind of information, either because the situation where a mess, or because it made me unconfortable.
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[Darrin Scott]

If it had been me, I wouldn't have been upset about not passing (I was very well aware I didn't pass well), I'd rather be very annoyed that someone approached me about something that personal.

I was going to say this. I didn't really pass at all pre-T, but if someone came out to me and clocked me, I'd be pretty upset.

[FTMDiaries]

I found myself behind another transguy in my home town a couple of months ago. He was well on his way, complete with an impressive beard... the only reason why I clocked him was because I know what to look for. Not that I was actively looking. But anyway.

He was dragging a suitcase with him, as if he was on his way to catch a train. I didn't say anything out of respect for his privacy, but if he'd made eye contact with me I was going to say: 'excuse me mate, sorry to trouble you, but I just wanted to wish you good luck on your journey. I'm heading there too. '

Seemed generic enough to get across my good wishes without outing him. Many trans people will recognise the 'journey' reference, but few cis people would.

[Nyri]

Since I know I don't pass well yet (pre T) I don't think I'd feel bad if someone came up to me as another FTM, because I'd really love to have some trans* friends in real life.  It would probably depend on the day, though.  Some days I'd probably feel bad about it.

It's kind of a difficult topic since everyone is so different and then there are people like me who are different themselves from one day to the next.

[aleon515]

The community is pretty large here, but I have seen people I thought were trans that I have never seen before. Of course, now I think just about half the population is trans. LOL. I have seen members of the community when going out. And boy am I more aware of pronouns etc etc than ever.




--Jay

[insideontheoutside]

Personally I wouldn't approach anyone or make any sort of conversational references. I've known plenty of people who were not trans and just looked andro so I guess I just wouldn't want to make a "mistake" about someone.

I'd say if you really want to help trans guys just starting out, maybe form a meetup group or something similar? Try to organize it online first and then go to in-person meetings.

[Dante]

To the OP (I didn't have time to read all of the replies), as a pre-t transguy I think it depends on the situation. If you approached me while I was alone, provided it was not somewhere where being approached by a stranger would be a scary thing and you started off with something other than "are you trans?" (it's a daunting/dangerous question coming from someone who you perceive as cis) I think having some advice from an older transguy would be a nice thing. Although in that specific situation it might be a little embarrassing. Also knowing that I wasn't completely alone in town would be nice. I don't live in a rural town, but in a fairly small suburb town and if there are any other trans people around they sure are making themselves hard to find.

For me personally I probably look more like a tomboy than a transguy even though I bind because my face and hair look way too feminine so unless it was someone trying to harass me I doubt anyone, even another trans person, would know I was trans.